We spent a trillion dollars on building a plagiarism machine that flatters your ego instead of putting that money into R&D for an actual good cause: teledildonics

It should be called a Play 'n' Pack or Unpack 'n' Play, but, as it stands, it is in objectively the incorrect order

Reposting apropos of nothing

Fuck yeah 34 year olds lets goooo

@stuffmadehere.bsky.social could a self-winding-watch mechanism be used to generate enough power to run, for example, a digital watch?

Hoping that the day comes soon when society will recognize that the entrepreneurial impulse to start a business and get rich is a form of psychosis

Narcissus in 2025 just spending hundreds of dollars a month on chatgpt credits

Trying to explain to my nephew how IRC was like if Discord was plaintext only and wasnt owned by a singular entity and didn't give you chronic migraines

Just want to clarify for the record that what I mean by "it happening" is Charlie Kaufman writing and directing a biopic of Clive Wearing starring Bill Nighy

At the very least it’s fun to think of this as a sort of tailgate party before the big event

Jacking off, just about to cum, fitbit vibrates, I got in all my steps

My most toxic trait is that I don't like Bladerunner in any way except for the aesthetic and mise en scene

@acollierastro.bsky.social idk if you've seen it, but I think you might like Paycheck in the same way you like The Core

Now is an excellent time to shut up about shit you don't fully know about. Just take the shut and put it all the way the fuck up

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you're using AI imagery, you're not "resisting", you're not in any sort of "resistance". You're capitulating, you're yielding. You're actively helping what you claim to oppose by using it.

One day, my high school gym teacher singled me out in front of the class to use my bad back as an example of how "kids these days" are getting less and less fit. I was too embarrassed to clarify that I had injured my back due to routinely practicing autofellatio

Me: There doesn't exist a prison that can hold me! *Am escorted in cuffs to my cell* Me: wow nevermind i was super wrong, these walls are concrete, im so fucked lmao

I can't wait to see the results of the American experiment

Anger is holy. It's protective. It gives us strength and courage. Anger is a powerful force for GOOD.

Bout to file a "ass claction lawsuit". Thats when i sue everyone who has ever wronged me

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the: A. Street B. Kitchen C. Other (please explain)

Smirking, I quip to the goblin, "how about you try goblin deez nuts," and cast a 4th-level Inflict Wounds. I roll a natural 1. I have the Mortified condition for one minute.

This is the best day of my life

My kingdom for a breadtuber to do a critical analysis of Milton Friedman's television program Free to Choose

Do you think Einstein ever jacked off to the Lorentz factor

*CW: Sincere* Very much hoping that the renewed interest in Mike Judge projects leads way more people to discover Silicon Valley which, as @filmcrithulk.bsky.social once accurately described it, is a documentary. Really captures the absurdity of the present moment

Amateur porn? No thank you; I prefer that the actors get paid for their time and skill

Reposting for no particular reason

I wish billionaires would just fucking go do Atlas Shrugged already so they can LARP being Very Smart Boys together and leave the rest of us fucking out of it

Sometimes I feel bad letting my computer run all night playing Cookie Clicker, but gpt 5 was just released, and i no longer feel bad because, tbh, generating a few septendecillion cookies per second is an infinitely more worthwhile use of computational energy than a machine designed to bullshit

*sheepishly* so... Is there a Mr. Rachel?

mRNA vaccines are among mankind's greatest achievements. There is no other word to describe the current administration than "evil"

Who among us, from time to time, having had their mind wandering, has not found themselves, inadvertently, on the roof of the west wing

TSA: Business or pleasure? Me: I take pleasure in my business, so a little of column A, and a lit-- I undergo sudden cardiac arrhythmia from the 4 separate tazers now running current through my body

Keith Wilson you coward dickhead

🌻🦋🌻

I don't know how many times I have to say it, so here we go again: ACAB obviously includes both Limu Emu AND Doug

not too be too woke or anything but downtown Portland would be even nicer if there weren't explosions of unknown origin every half hour on the half hour for every half hour past 10

All the dire implications notwithstanding it is hilarious how evil this technology is. Billions of dollars spent on this greasy lying stupid thing that was literally built to replace people, and everyone that uses it gets weaker, lazier, dumber, and sadder for having done so. Well done all around.

If I ask you to guess who sang the national anthem to open WrestleMania III, think of several possibilities. Picture them in your mind. You've guessed wrong. www.youtube.com/live/ep-lB_G...

Fact: The commonly defined function rand() is named for controversial author Ayn Rand, who was best known for, like a pseudorandom number generator itself, conjuring up bullshit

Drag Name: Billie Ruben

One of the Prince of Darkness's most famous songs contains the lyric, "maybe, it's not too late; to learn how to love, and forget how to hate" I hope he's having a fucking great time in hell (complimentary)

Best case scenario, Hawai'i secedes and becomes its own independent sovereign nation again. Mexico and Canada capitalize on the ensuing turmoil and invade as allies. Everything north of and including San Francisco becomes Canada and everything south of and including San Jose becomes Mexico.

Fermat was a little stinker. Dude asserted that for n>2, the equation a^n + b^n = c^n has no positive integer solutions, and then was like "btw i proved this already but i ran out of paper so i can't write it here lmao" and then continued laughing his ass off for the next three and a half centuries

Thinking about the ending of Daredevil (2004 or whatever) in which Joey Pants considers the moral implications of unmasking Matt Murdoch in a story he's writing. He ultimately decides to delete the document from his computer by holding down the backspace key for, presumably, a silent several minutes

And/Or Charlie Kaufman

I only write "ai" in lowercase. it does not deserve the respect that uppercase confers

Repost the $67 cat if you believe in getting $67.

The Republican mind cannot comprehend working 50 hours a week and making $25000/year