In hindsight, it was a mistake to open up a store at the mall named Sharp Image right nextdoor to Sharper Image.

Coming soon: THE SLOP

Was at a Bat Mitzvah tonight and learned that they now make chairs specifically for the Hora dance, with grab bars and all. We’re living in the future. (Photo from the web, not from tonight.)

AL DENTE would be a great name for an orthodontist.

If you’re pairing wine with your sunny side up eggs, you might have a drinking problem.

"Begun, the Clolone Wawars have."

These platforms are individually sealed.

Doctor: What seems to be the problem? Golfer: I think my skull sunk down to my throat again.

It all began with the forging of the Mother Sauces. Five were gifted to the race of Men. But they were all of them deceived, for another sauce was made — pesto.

Someone must have installed this tool on the NASA shuttle: community.spiceworks.com/t/open-two-s... Hopefully they find the author and throw him in prison for life!

TIL that the word “quine“ is _not_ in the Scrabble dictionary 😡 en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quine_(...

CSS is DOOMed! I've build DOOM in CSS and every wall, floor, barrel, and imp is a div, positioned in 3D space using CSS transforms. cssdoom.wtf Try it out! But... not every browser can handle it. This is taking the browser to its limit. Chrome has some issues. Safari too. Bugs will be filed.

Procrastination? Don’t get me started.

You telling me an easy herb laminated this pasta dough?

Clippy caught me!

@colinmochrie.bsky.social, amazing Hyprov show tonight in Kirkland!! I was in tears laughing! And thanks for accepting my daughter’s “ladder” suggestion!

Maybe don’t advertise where the water is coming from… (zoom in on the LCD screen)

I need this made into a t-shirt for myself.

i built an entire x86 CPU emulator in CSS (no javascript) you can write programs in C, compile them to x86 machine code with GCC, and run them inside CSS lyra.horse/x86css/

Watch out, nerds, there’s a new sheriff in town!

(sea monster bio) You've probably seen my writhing in The Atlantic

pretty cool M.C. Escher could draw all that stuff and still find time to rap

Old: "Is Pepsi okay?" New: "Is Hep-C okay?" nypost.com/2017/08/15/m...

CEO of Redfin

"Congratulations …. your days of whining are over." www.jsnover.com/blog/2026/02...

60 minutes now seriously evoking 28 Days Later energy

> Furthermore, it switched the power off and on! In related news, everyone’s home router is now working properly.

Went to the theater today to see Marty Supreme. For those of you wondering, it’s like a regular Marty but with sour cream and tomatoes.

Everything in the news is terrible, but I introduced my daughter tonight to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and she loved it, so at least there’s that ❤️

One of the restaurants near my office is named Leaf+Land. I always order the fish just to be a contrarian.

Today is Boxing Day. Jake Paul: “oh fuck…”

The story is insane. The acting head of cyber security, a Noem crony, repeatedly demanded to see highly classified information he didn’t need access to, and when staff set up a lie detector test as a condition to grant him access, he failed it. So DHS suspended the staffers.

My wife: Mmm, this is the best rye bread in the world. Me: Whoa, whoa, let’s not get carawayed.

Q: What’s the opposite of a hot dog? A:

Are you a security researcher or journalist? We want to hear from you — please take this survey! Dissent Doe at DataBreaches.net, and yours truly at this.weekinsecurity.com, are running this survey to explore the state of legal demands and criminal threats in cybersecurity.

First an ST:TNG Lego kit and now a new Mega Man game?! What’s next, some new TV series set in the ‘80s about kids fighting monsters?

TIL about chromostereopsis 😮

The thing about my home air purifier: whether I use it or not, it just collects dust.

How everyone lived in the 1970s:

[Trying to parse out this license plate] “SEE… YOU… oh my”

Oh how the terns have tied...

Surgeons and I have very different definitions for “minimally”.

I accidentally just swallowed two lens wipes for my headache. Why the hell are these boxes so similarly labeled?!

“without triggering resistance…”

What was that old chat protocol? IIRC IRC.

Engineers: “Don’t deploy to production right before a holiday.”

I bought tickets for a slugfest, but it turned out to be just a couple of guys punching each other :(