I’m at Apple HQ standing at the center of a massive space-agey amphitheater saying “Let’s make it WORSE” to rapturous applause

Patrick Dumont about to invoke the “no backsies” clause

I'm getting yelled at by the British on this website and I'd like to apologize. In the words of Lord Vernon Maxwell, if I knew you guys had internet over there I would've never made those tweets.

also the venn diagram of people mad they can't understand the lyrics and the people who think born in the usa is about how good america is is a circle

🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸

The NYT fired everyone who knew that sugar cane is kinda important to Puerto Rico. They're dumber than dogshit over there. This is so fucking embarrassing.

Is there some sort of award for perfectly missing the point?

It’ll be really funny if Fedde balls out for 2-3 months and the Sox trade him again 😂

i think people mad about bad bunny’s performance have never been forced to consider that not everything is for you

Jason Myers robbed

Shoutout Illini legend Devon Witherspoon

Welp. That’s probably ballgame.

“Ring uses AI to help find lost dogs” yup it probably stops there, sounds fine

Benito is a threat b/c he makes art so alluring and enjoyable you want to understand everything about it and then you end up learning about sugar and slavery and colonialism and the Taínos and Hawaii and then you probably have some thoughts of your own, and that's why art is powerful and dangerous

Me after my 50th Claude ad

Used OpenAI to code an app during that last break

I’m watching a lot of petty, mean-spirited haters dunking on Kid Rock on every platform and seriously you all rock.

Baby’s first time at the United Center

tfw you leave Plato’s cave awfulannouncing.com/nfl/pat-mcaf...

JD Vance looks like yassified Chucky

Italians hung the fascists by their heels in Milan.

Waaay ahead of you

Emo ICE agent might not see all of your jokes making fun of him, but I bet he’s got some friends on Bluesky who are texting the best jokes to him right now.

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “Tear Gas”

Führer Seems Forever

Death Camp For Cutie over here

Thought he was done but they put Stafford on a $75,000 hot dog warmer in an Airstream for three days and he won and MVP

I need everyone to know that on the crochet subreddit the mods made a big post about how they're taking a week off because there was too much fighting/political posts. so there's currently no mods on r/crochet and people are being absolutely insane

Oh he’s fucked fucked, huh?

The only thing I have to add to this is that MJF’s hair transplant might be too good Man has a fuckin mane in the front. Zero peaks. Fuckin leveled Everest and K2. Went from his corners playing bump and run to goal line defense. 46 Bear in this mf.

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a Guy Finnacum,

The Bulls now have 1 player taller than 6’8 who isn’t injured

I simply would have just signed my two time reigning Cy Young winner to a big ass contract 🤷🏻‍♂️

TIL that a girthy hog helps in ski jumping

Please, my magic bean, it is very sick

It is *so* liberating to like a sports team or a politician and still be able to criticize them when they fuck up rather than twist myself into a pretzel and abandon all my principles to defend the indefensible. Everyone should free themselves in this way! ❤️🌈🇺🇸

42 2nd round picks and 12 guards doesn’t strike me as a burst of momentum

i don't even know if they'll be legit but i am really looking forward to reading the leaked trade offers that Milwaukee turned down

We all forgot about this but this is probably the best headline to explain the guys whole vibe

If they trade Buzelis I’ll lose my shit

The Reinsdorf crime family must be stopped

NOT NOW SLAMMIN STRAWBERRY

At this point the Bulls and White Sox might just be money laundering operations idfk man

Re-watched The Matrix. It still rules and only made me think of this Roddy White banger about a dozen times

…But today is not that day

I am now prepared to say the White Sox had a successful off-season