Today I’m anti-clothes

Good morning Alpha 🤤

What do you MEAN it feels like 94 degrees at 8:30? And it’s going up to 101 and humid later? No thank you

More more more by Becky hill really sums up how I felt after a year teaching at a school that killed all my joy “I've been going for ages I think I need a day off But I won't ever be happy 'Cause it's just never enough So tell me how high you want me And I'll get ready to jump” Time for summer!!!

Carpenters across the world are asking how the nail was hit on the head so cleanly

Dondozo? More like don BOZO (I just fought 3 dondozos in a row in pokerogue)

THEN GO BANKRUPT!! We don’t need ai

Just discovered tkay maidza’s music and the vibes are IMMACULATE and her voice is so smooth Ok music of the summer!!

relevant to an email i just got

Rewatching uk vs the world 2 with @bigalphadad.bsky.social and re-realizing… They really wasted an entire spot on gothy kendoll instead of like… cheddar gorgeous She’s just there doing bullshit every week and she coasts by people who actually do well… wild

So everyone (aka absolutely no one) has been asking for a cock pic…. Here you go! 🤣

KNICKS IN 5 BABYYYYYY

95 degrees with high humidity and this big doggo do not mix well Source: how sweaty I am after being outside for .2 minutes

As an anthropologist, I endorse this message!

stop generating crap you look stupid! 🐟

I HATE COPILOT. I HATE CHATGPT. I HATE GROK. I HATE DATA CENTERS. I HATE AI.

Very clear sign I function off coffee: This morning when going to brew a pot, I had it brew… with no coffee pot. Just the grounds and hot water @bigalphadad.bsky.social came out like “did you mean to do this?”

My house dog outfit to do chores today (Not pictured: cage and plug) Happy Sunday to all the queer people in my phone!

Lady Gaga and doechii put drugs in their song I CAN TURN A DANCEFLOOR INTO A R U N W A Y

Agua de Jamaica is an S+ tier beverage

Woof 😍

Autism World Awareness Day 🧵 1/3

Spending the day as a locked (and occasionally plugged) house dog while alpha is at internship/class to really lean in to just feeling like a big customizable genderless dog (they/it) Yay productivity!

I FUCKING FOUND HER!!!!! The whole trio, Clair, Obscur, and Clair Obscur

Genuinely give AuDHD people basic income and housing, give them a bit to settle into their routines and recover from the trauma of survival, and then be ready to see shit pop the fuck off

“We’ve been running around for a week now… can someone tell us who the fuck Clair Obscur is?”

If someone with ADHD doesn't respond to you for days or even weeks, it isn't because they don't want to talk to you. They were in their Dragon Form

''Ermmm it's unprofessional to talk about ''politics'', you'll lose followers!'' Oh shit my bad, here let me say this instead- Fuck ICE Fuck MAGA Free Palestine Trans rights Black lives matter I could give two fucks if people unfollow, i'm not here to surround myself by bigots.

Happy birthday to the love of my life!!!! No blizzard will stop me from making you feel special 🩶💚💙🧡🤎💖❤️‍🔥

*me and @bigalphadad.bsky.social deciding who will do an errand* Them: *rolls a nat 20* Me: easy, I’ll just hit that too… Me: watch this be the smoothest nat 1 you’ve ever seen Me: *rolls, gets a nat 1” I speak things into existence… just not in the ways I hope 🤣

Guess who has two thumbs and tendonitis in their ankle/foot? MEEEEEE now I get to brave the nyc subway system with a boot for 2 weeks

They don’t belong in any community

Gym in AM —> errands in the cold to help set up for the week while @bigalphadad.bsky.social crushes their winter class Productive dog hours 😎

Day 1 of going to the gym for muscle work (instead of just cardio) and shoulder workouts are no joke!! My arms feel like overcooked spaghetti

I mean it

When ally beardsley looks at the camera and says “you’re high as fuck, that blew your mind” And you are… and it did 🤯

Getting fucked while caged is now a thing I can say I’ve done thanks to @bigalphadad.bsky.social Then they made me cum after me being caged and them teasing me since before Christmas

What are 4 albums you like to lock in and listen to, front to back? Here are mine:

About to kiss your belly so much

When you turn leftovers into a bomb dinner >>>

I leveled up to 31 today!! Spending it how a good puppy should: locked, high, on display, and a good hole Anyone want to add to the tallies?

Your belly is bellying 😍

Happy new year!

Had a lovely holidays with the love of my life 🥰