Me thinking about boobs 🥺 Me seeing boobs 🥹

🥺 this one is like somehow desperate and horny and a little sad but in like a yearning way and this one 🥹 is happy tears and just doesn’t work in the desperate horny situations

started my new pole class tonight, level 1.5 instead of 1. it’s a better match for me, and a super small class (only 4 people!). the time sucks tho (8pm). but I’ll be crushing it in no time. no video tonight cause my shoulder Charlie horsed mid move and ruined the last ten mins of class.

we need this to become a new trend. like rick rolling. come on, people!! www.instagram.com/reel/DU551x5...

im eating a salad and it sucks

hear me out: Costco opens a sister store that’s got quantities made for single people.

THE TVS ON TOO MUCH AND I DONT EVER THINK ENOUGH ABOUT THE THINGS THAT MATTER MOST or what could make me whole

the amount of lyrics in Reba that I know is about the same as the amount I don’t know

MORE GOOD THINGS ANNOUNCED TODAY Denver botanical gardens!!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL

it would be full circle for me if It happens while I’m in a pole class cause he was elected (the first time) while I was in a pole class

The algorithm lining things up

can someone link me to the meme generator of that like meme of the chick and the vibe of the meme is usually “you’re gonna make me cum” or like “hoooyeaaahhhh” kinda something like that help one of you pervs knows what I’m talking about

ugh my new session of pole classes is wednesdays at 8pm fml

I dreamt last night that tom and steph were hiking Mount Everest and I was anxious and begged her not to

thank GOD dicks is back

rewarding myself for Working with a ice cold Coca Cola classic

who’s couch am i crashing on for dicks? due to besties impending divorce i can’t ask for her air bnb right now lol

oh great everyone’s gonna be insufferable today too

I rarely hear coyotes here, but they just woke me up screaming

Instagram really wants me to rewatch Breaking Bad, which has reminded me to reveal the biggest plot hole in the entire series that i did not realize before moving to New Mexico: a man as hot as jesse pinkman does not exist in the entire state, let alone Albuquerque.

person: can we have a meeting to discuss details? [can’t find a compatible meeting time] me: can we hammer out some of these over email? person: i just wanted to discuss details and questions. me: THEN ASK THEM. IN AN EMAIL. (this was screamed internally)

ive been watching the early seasons of Vanderpump Rules, just started season 4 and some thoughts: Stassi sucks Kristen sucks and is crazy Lisa left RHOBH cause she couldn’t hold her own against women her own age (don’t @ me) Do people really cheat on each other this much??? Jax is batshit

in an absolutely disgusting stat I’ve just discovered - ive had Facebook for 22 years. i have 14k posts there. ive had bluesky for about 2 years and have 31.7k posts.

sorry to be this way but there will never be another generation like millennials. we had our childhood and young adulthood free from easily accessible internet, computer usage, social media, AI, and peer to peer surveillance. this will never happen again.

friend: [person] lives in Arizona, I sent them your contact, you two should meet up! me: you know I live in New Mexico, right?

im stuck on a level in my silly hyperfixation game of the week and im angry

phish fans are a lot like those memes about “one time my dog found a pepperoni in this bush so now he always checks it, it’s 7 years later.”

imagine naming a song “wang dang sweet poontang” and still getting pussy

damn yall out here acting like there weren’t 5 whole years without phish dates. so glad I didn’t know you then.

do you want phish dates today or do you want phish to leave wasserman? because you can’t have both.

Yall clamoring fo phis dates. You ever consider phish don’t want to see you. Like ever? Their lives don’t revolve around you stop making yours revolve around them.

the dollop today talking about tarping culture at phish shows

men who don’t respect women are bad in bed

that’s a crazy gap between real and feels like

“He won’t appoint a special prosecutor” wouldn’t make a fucking difference if he did, the fuck?!

Brent, 48, server at a restaurant, leads with this:

Every time I rally my heart and brain to join a dating site, @zzbenz.bsky.social posts another screenshot of the barren wasteland that online dating appears to be. Argh.

don’t be like this guy

made such a sick burn about an ex last night and I wish anyone that would’ve known how sick it was had heard it

had to read this three times before I realized it didn’t say “morons”

1999’s seminal hit “Smooth” by Santana and Rob Thomas send skeet

turned to bestie pre show and was like “holy shit there’s this older man behind us who is so fucking hot it’s crazy.” it was Senator Martin Heinrich. I shoulda fucken yapped his year off about these goddamn e-files. missed my chance.

man I love music but I can’t fucking stand musicians

they’re playing another video now

this band, sons of legion, really buys into their own lore. opened with a video, came out, played two songs acoustic, left the stage, played another video about their origins, came back, played one song, left the stage, played another video about their lore, finally came back full back.

yall ever seen final destination?