tonight @gjane77.bsky.social took me to downtown Phoenix to get some dick #firstdickof2026

FYI tomorrow is Gina’s bday and the full super wolf moon - act accordingly

pit stop in Phoenix and @gjane77.bsky.social took me to get pizza

🤣🤣🤣🤣

And I've been from Tucson to Tucumcari, Tehachapi to

Buckingham Nicks? I’m too busy Suckingtham Tits

I’d rather be Eiffel Tower’d

For a 10-day vacation you need at least 30-35 pair of underwear

This is a @msdarthmikeshair.bsky.social NYE tracksuit appreciation skeet 🔥

horny poasting on main will continue until conditions improve

If I had my way‼️ If I had my way🫦 If I had my way😏

an hour and a half and $30 and im back on my way!

SKEET OF THE DAY 🏆

this tire shop is funny. the couple that runs it are adorable, the lady is keeping me informed & updated & being super nice, & their son who’s like 4-5 thinks he’s an employee & is wearing cowboy boots a little too big, a cowboy hat, & keeps telling the customers when their car will be ready 😂

I’ve been blocked and I assume it’s because of my tire issues since that’s basically all I’ve posted today and like… weird. Lots of great reasons to block me but a nail in my tire ain’t one.

oh no

i hate leaving California 😭 but i youtu.be/IwHvTxoElo4?...

tea tree oil flavored soap on the genitals has more zing than espresso

New Tear's Day

it’s not a New Year’s Day if I don’t cry a little

im no longer enjoying this

I did a beautiful performance on the triangle last night to en vogue’s “don’t let go”

being forced to watch Sinners

thinkin of going to a sphere show, hitting the spearmint rhino after, engaging in some absolutely debaucherous foreplay before closing the blackout curtains and going to pound town

BAD NEWS/GOOD NEWS: my poor mom is spending New Years Day in the hospital with diverticulitis and an infection 😬 good news is she called to tell me. she sounds good, she’s in good hands. but send vibes for mother Benz plz.

besties husbands bestie is here too. he just opened the microwave & exclaimed “BRO WTF” pulled a plate out and had no idea how long besties husband had left it in there. i was like “see this is the kinda shit i mean when i say ‘I don’t know how you do it’ to someone who deals with men regularly.”

whomst among us got an UNEXPECTED kiss at midnite?

2000 -> 2026

Fellas is it gay to brick up from a box of milk dancing?

lol

they did this right after covering Prince’s “Cream” 🥛 stereogum.com/2483954/phis...

sttflow.gumroad.com/l/sttf91 If you love me you’ll read my Phishy Astrology column !!!!!

hey @mebs.bsky.social how’re the biscuits this morning?

bring back dry humping and making out for hours

bestie: you CRUSHED “Forgot About Dre” last night! this queen is OFF BOOK‼️ me: i coulda done “Next Episode” too bestie:

yeah sure i could be happily partnered but what would happen to my poasting?!

could go for being a glazed donut rn

took our crews shart count last night before midnight and collectively we’re at .5 sharts

someone needs to take the AI away from boomers. my friend received an AI video from her dad on Christmas of her dog who recently crossed the rainbow bridge (which dad did not acknowledge) telling her he’s enjoying heaven and to have a merry Christmas.

last nites posting was an all timer thanks couch tour crew

12/31/25 Also Sprach Zarathustra #phish

besties husband def considers me the “bad influence” friend and seems a little upset about my motto “how hard can it be? men do it.”