Hi I’m not a Sportsmen, wtf is happening at MSG and why are there giant fences??

Parent and proud to be a (former) member of the SW pro community. I’m here to say when it’s age appropriate my kids will know my story because that’s reality and there is nothing wrong with sexuality. If you hide it, they will find it anyway, and in less safe ways!!!

MADE IT! Went to a basics class because the week of my period is the week where I do very little physically (my “rest” week) and goddamn the teacher kicked my ass in the best way anyway 😂

Will I make it through Pilates before my period starts? Stay tuned to find out!

I got parsley in my AirPod case.

NAME ACHIEVED

Omg 😂😂😂

Coming up with a name for this Depop shop is giving me fits.

Dearest Martha, what should I name my Depop shop. Can’t be my username here.

WHIMSY

Hi I knit and post thirst traps and talk to jamband fans. Welcome!

I had a dream that a woman was precisely and deftly making and then selling these beautiful bouquets of pinecones, and they were $20, and she included these little beautiful drawings with them. 🥹

I promise it was legit circumstances @stealingzen.bsky.social

I sleep in a room with blackout curtains, a box fan, and a white noise machine and I use a sleep mask because I go to bed when the sun is still up. #nightnight

Tomorrow I am going to put my hair into a Mohawk of teeny tiny buns

Found ink in my favorite shade of vermillion last week ❤️

My dad knows I was foregoing my yearly tradition of planting of beautiful seasonal flowers because I’m out of work and he sent me money to go to the nursery to buy flowers. 🥹🫶☺️

I just pray for a montage of these, but the last one is just the shot of him never waking up.

Staying awake is a challenge.

One thing you should know about me is, I love a shark movie.

“I MARRIED A PEER,” my husband of 21 years shrieks at me.

Yall I’ve literally applied to over a hundred jobs for which I am overqualified and have had ONE. INTERVIEW. 😬

I’m out of work so while I’m job hunting I am selling my curated thrifted pieces and my son has asked me to sell all his Lego. So. Much. Sorting.

I call this outfit “laying some track.” The crop does it dirty tho, so click thru 🖤✨🖤

PNW early summer means it’s either 80+ degrees or 55 and pouring. More often than not, it’s both. Makes getting dressed to go anywhere a challenge but, I do love a challenge.

What’s sexier, bare legs or bare shoulders?

I bought a postal scale, some cute packaging and some acid free tissue paper and tomorrow I am listing all my beloved curated clothes on a new Depop shop. What do I name it?!?! Must be crisp, clear, easy to spell, and memorable.

I’m going to need everyone to stop making such beautiful meaningful art while I’m about to start my period because I’m dehydrating from sobbing at how kind people exist

Once again woke up to my insta DMs full of men who want to talk about my feet for free.

The world may be bleak, but I refuse to contribute to the bleak. Hydrate! Moisturize! Do not stay up late out of resistance! NO DEFEATISM

WHAT DO I WEAR TO BRUNCH

I am about to use the full force of my professionally trained voice to cheer my daughter on at her track finals. RIP to the eardrums of everyone around me.

And that’s assuming you were able to HAVE a 401k in the first place.

I don’t want to work I want to make art

I went to advanced Pilates and really liked it. Big success: Curled upwards, into a pike on my shoulders, in the same way I was curling when my back broke, for the first time since I broke it, and didn’t barf from fear!

Grown men using those big square vapes are giving me cell phone holster energy

Taking my first advanced Pilates class today. I’m caffeinated, hydrated, well rested, and ready to be humbled.

I thought they cloned RFK semi-successfully but no, some science freaks made bread.

For the record, porpoise blood is the most beautiful shade of red I’ve ever seen.

I took myself on a museum date today at the university. At one point a group of grad students was getting an intro tour of the labs and back of house stuff, and I sort of just stood behind them/ glommed on and I got to see a porpoise necropsy!!

May get dressed up and go to the museum.

17yo (who is autistic): Mom, I found this weird white powder on the table. *brings it to me cupped in his hand* Is this fentanyl?! Me: No, of course not! It’s probably dust or something. If you thought it was fentanyl why would you touch it?! Him: You’re making some great points. Me: 🫡😂

Probably not a great sign that on our first hot day we are getting multiple electrical brown outs. 😬

I think David Beckham and Paul Hollywood have the same plastic surgeon.

Art stuff while I wait for the 1,000th load of laundry to dry.

It looks like I’m smuggling a cyborg in my overalls.

2/3 kids are home not feeling good today so I’m going to go get some coffee.

I’m just here to make art and money and help my people thrive.

If you’re a phish phan and find me that way: hi Hello I incite cis het men because they are easy to bait and have the funds to apologize. Be welcome. Be polite.

For pride month my gift to myself is not centering men. Consider this your warning before you engage. If you’d like guidance on what pleases me: 1. Links in my bio so learn to read. 2. @berman1125.bsky.social and @nikkiynot.bsky.social engage with me on the regular and never annoy me.