Chuck Schumer: I think I will send a strongly worded letter. Will Stancil: OPSEC is for losers. Act without pity or mercy. God will recognize his own.

You know how, in comic books, the villains needs to form some kind of anti-group to fight the Avengers or Justice League after being slighted and 80% of the time fails because of lack of alignment?

I fully approve of moving the capital from Sacramento to Solvang

Punching a hole in the wall, crying, and yelling “I can’t let Will Stancil spend 2026 going harder than me!”

@olufemiotaiwo.bsky.social, I do not regret to inform you…

Nothing is more millennial-brained than seeing this and immediately demanding the cast of 30 Rock do a mocumentary about Bari Weiss’ takeover of CBS.

Government for and by Court Jews and Kapos

Congratulations to @flaminghydra.com for adding @tomtomorrow.bsky.social, a man whose cartoons are responsible for at least 45% of my radicalization in the 90s.

Of course

I’m going to be generous here and suggest Ross’ diet of creatine and anabolics may have combined with the added stress of becoming one of America’s Least Wanted to burst a hemorrhoid.

Sir, I don’t even think you can make Warhammer 40k real, not for lack of trying.

A sign of the Overton window shifting is thinking to yourself “I cannot let Will Stancil go harder than me.”

I am going back to a 90s Nokia that will work fished out of the bottom of a pool and too dumb to even run Snake.

He hit the stupid tinpot dictator royal flush: touched the boats, the children, the leaders, the peoples’ doors, and the money.

I believe this is called a Kavanaugh Sweep

Finally, Mamdani’s genocidal intent becomes clear. Millions of New Yorkers’ heads would explode from the shock of walking outside and not smelling pee.

Photos that go hard for some reason

They’re called red states because they are dry and irritated:

Live your life in a way they never nickname your title “Do Not Invite”

A humble reminder that the only people who get paid to protest are cops.

I never want to hear a conservative talk about “limited government” again. The only limit they wanted was on accountability.

Why does ICE murder the Good?

I like to imagine Florida Man as a Paleolithic or Neolithic archeological find like Java Man or Cheddar Man: “here he lies with his grave goods, a modded Dodge Charger and can of White Monster Energy...”

Happy new year! If you are a CA resident, you now can opt out of data collection by brokers who sell your info to advertisers and the Federal government. This link will take you to a form to opt out of collection of your car’s VIN, your TV’s ad ID, and your unique mobile device ID.

You can tell Miles Qauritch is irredeemable in Avatar 3 because he dresses like John Fetterman when he’s not in the field.

Need confirmation from my mutuals that Stephen Miller was the sickliest looking kid without a medical condition to ever live in Santa Monica. Bro, your receding hairline, among other things, is God telling you to stop the bullshit.

Dan Carlin quoting Gramsci in this latest episode is like the Grand Unified Field Theory of history podcasting.

Tate/Paul losses are part of the miracle of Hanukkah. I will not elaborate further.

Opposing party’s production of documents to RFPs Set One. Produced three months after discovery sanctions and hand-dropped on your office’s front door the Friday before Christmas. You have trial in January.

Man, the announcer voice on that impolite proposition is [chef’s kiss].

Currently imagining what the Tributes from Missouri would look like with their traditional attire and weapons…

[Vaguely recalling Hebrew school education] I am going to say the four-fingered hands make grinches treif…

“Turtle Island Liberation Front” is exactly the kind of left wing group name that gets you sent on a doomed mission to Spellhaus on Andor.

Guess the poll numbers are starting to sink In.

So, I’m guessing someone over at Health and Human Services bought about 1,000 copies?

Sir, it is pronounced Jacob or Ya’acov, not Yakub.

This administration pardons major traffickers and commits war crimes against fishermen accused of smuggling. Let’s call this policy what it is: Too Bump to Fail

Live your life so a Canadian publisher of children’s books is not tempted to tell you “don’t @ me, war criminal.”

Respect to Clay Higgins for standing on business.

“Trying to find the guy who did this” hotdog suit is now threadbare from overuse

Oh man, going out and yelling “you work for a Chomo” at CBP and ICE tomorrow is going to burn extra hard.

Currently wishing that, as penance, Kevin Roberts be turned into Shabbos Goy for a Crown Heights Satmar couple who won’t shut up about Mamdani starting tomorrow night.