shits tighter than mosquito asshole out here

absence makes the heart grow rabid

one of the most common questions I get asked in thjs life is “what in the hell are you talking about” and I find that beautiful

asking my professor what gpa Id need to hit

when I die Ive informed my lawyer to pick a lucky follower to inherit my body

goodnight infectious vermin in my phone

I get so little play Im abt to redownload mysmes

I crave salt like a trusted&loyal steed

whoever invented pretzels gotta watch out for me ,bc Im coming in every sense of the word

I shouldve just shoved fingers in throats man

I Become Erect For Beautifully Simple Electromechanics

you wouldnt trust a machine

FUCK RICE COOKERS

good morning young hos with no parental guidance

big fan of undiagnosed schizophrenics

watching an entire episode of my strange addiction to feel better about noticing mold on my bread a little 2 late

Cock ring for cowards

do they have cock rings for pussies

Help

if they were callin the day I got strung up GOOD friday I wouldnt have come back

pioneering the resurgence of trade barter society by tossing a handful of blueberries onto the counter at the gas station and lifting my jacket pocket to be level with the cashiers heart until it works

me

Im aprils fool

experiencing my allotted mouth play & gagging time @ the dentists office

whats a good april fools prank 4 somebody that isnt trusted by anyone

new tomodachi life got me in the plains of south GA robbing an old man off fb marketplace

Got 2 fuking likes!! Fuk u

binder otw Im getti g so much studying done

sometimes I use lube as moisturizer nd people compliment my supple firm skin asking “whats your routine???” baby youre not ready 4 what I got goin on at home

u rly never know what anybody is doing behind their screens

I just b slathering myself in substances

playin with biofreeze my dick burns ,but cold

blood is thin ,and one remedy is hormone therapy boys we’re in

if tou

if your bleach dye doesnt go platinum in rhe shower. youre not clean

if you dont have to sit down out of. fear in the shower youre not clean

I dont think my cat is going to heaven

You’re a genius bell. I’m giving you the No Bell prize

come unto me come into me same diff my pastor: ☹️❓

my issue is thag when I feel bad I deliberately do things to make myself feel worse

duct taping a roku stick to my mop

pregnant stud got me pondering things

professor sex dreams

I'm trying to escape being a man and a woman what is another thing I could be, I'm going to become PINKMAN.

Androgynous swag?

my church used to make us watch veggie tales to learn tha word of god or wtv ,but I just thought bob and larry were gay lovers

pink eyes sounds. so pretty, and all I have to do is fart on my pillow

my drag king name is semen fingers nd Im just wearing a green shirt + jeans

becoming addicted 2 playin wit bleach

my cat said oh I have that hair color too kinda