i meant to post this earlier but it's still 4.20 where i live happy 25th anniversary to this killer tDB show. the slowed down version of Mindless Dribble is such a vibe

watching the show Kevin on Amazon and Brandi is killing me 😭

my local daily newspaper is great. they are always publishing the stories that actually have impact. stuff that really matters to the local residents

My electric frypan died so now I have to use an acoustic one.

Ladies & Gentlemen, your 2026 Cincinnati Reds 🙌

listening to 2007 biscuits usually improves my mood ☺️

Happy 27th birthday to this monster. Still, the most underrated dribble ever played in my opinion.

your nails are digging into my arm, goddamnit

Zyns should just be free

there are people who put butter and syrup in each waffle square, and people who embrace chaos, and they find one another

asking ai what words someone should say if they hypothetically wanted to get ai to successfully delete itself

just realized it's been two years since i consumed alcohol. please clap

i never drink milk what if my skeleton gets too strong and escapes

had a mildly traumatic experience at work tonight 😕

sorry for the foul language but this FUCKS

Spring Time!

Norwich Terrier brothers

*God, watching me drop the same butter knife 3 times in the same sofa crack* "Ok its time for another flood"

"It's 5pm somewhere" yeah, Suzanne, in bejin. Put down the bottle your family needs you

if for some reason somebody is feeling too generous and wants to buy me an electric scooter let me know. i'm in need of one and i'm fucking broke 😣

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They take everything literally.

😣 persevering + 🙄 rolling-eyes + 👑 crown =

My Guy 🩵

Golfers are such goobers

I wonder how many Vicodin martinis Tiger is having watching the masters

2nu.gs/4spPfqW kinda Lunar Pursuit vibes in this very good Helicopters jam, from this very very good 2008 January Colorado Biscuits run whole show is hot fire 🔥

the little groove they're about to settle into here is quite nice to my ears

to define terms: "cat person" means you prefer cats over dogs as pets "dog person" means you prefer dogs over cats as pets me (snacky), i love cats and dogs equally & i have no preference regarding which i prefer as a pet are you a cat person, a dog person, or are you like me about this?

Birthday girl is 6

Your idiot cousins wish you a happy birthday!

yeah right

Good chance I love Aceetobee more than you.

man, this is just so... beautiful

dinner time 🙂

i was just thinking about bumming a hit of crack off someone at the bus stop again and what if they said yes and i said oh i was joking and they pretended to be ok but really it hurt them emotionally

like finally someone noticed them and saw them as a person with shared interests (crack) but no. a joke once again

getting larry davided into doing crack

Just a dog and his lobster

🐶

Every single dog song I sing to Milo is just in the tune of good2be now

Laying in bed in the dark listening to music stays undefeated

Sir, a second bird is at the feeder

i think about this tweet way too often

my final paycheck from my part-time seasonal job is hilarious... $102.25 pre-tax $3.97 after taxes how is this even legal

the 12.31.93 Tweezer is pretty great imo