There’s nothing here that a rules based system, moisture sensor, and drip irrigation doesn’t already do, I futilely shout again like Marge Simpson to the Monorail dance number.

Fire crews are battling massive flames at a Chevron refinery just outside of Los Angeles. California Gov.

ACARS Message From: N707TW / DL0507 Message: MASSIVE FIRE/EXPLOSION ON GROUND 1/2 MILE S OF LAX SOON AFTER T/O. WHATS ON THE NEWS. Track Aircraft: https://www.flightradar24.com/N707TW Area: Los Angeles, CA, USA #acars #vdlm2 #N707TW #DL0507

One side did the Riyadh Comedy Festival before it was a debacle and one side is out here leading grassroots protests. Which way modern rassling fan?

fuck ice airing commercials during dynamite, let em know: help.hbomax.com/us/Feedback/ tbsnetwork.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/req...

The RIAA sent cease and desist letters to several people in neighboring dorms my junior year prompting my friend to wipe every MP3 file he had on his hard drive in case he was sent a letter next.

Have to believe this guy understands the homework assignment.

Hit the latest episode of a Black Rabbit and had a startling realization : what I was seeing on my TV was different than what’s happening.

Well don't I feel stupid

@dkr-dc.bsky.social Meter’s off by juuuust a hair but it’s a solid lead line to a verse 4

I feel bad for y’all but I go to the store for the meatballs and looks like those are still the same price.

We are so back

nationalize Buffalo Wild Wings

Give Kimmel the laser eyes

As I was saying…

❌ Treasury Bills ❌ Certificates of Deposit ❌ Gold bullion ✅ Cockroaches algae and rats as inheritors of a new planet

Everyone, repeat after me: “Thank you for the generous opportunity, Mr. Chotiner, but I have no further comment at this time.”

Destroy all cows now out on XBOX

The Berenstain Bears in Too Much Liquid

HA HA HA

Losing America’s dad for America’s cousin whose thanksgiving invite you always figure out a way to lose in the mail

LISTEN UP, LUDDITES MY GIRLFRIEND LEFT ME

Ugh. This is making me want to shave.

He (the guy not the bot) posted this on the day that VPOTUS joked about extra judicial killings as policy and a government pressure campaign canned a regime critic’s tv show

So his response was “deal with it.”

Elites commending the politics of a guy who organized the busses for January 6 . What a time to be alive.

Bah gawd king thats the smiling man

-Did ya compile the compendium of birthday well wishes? -Sure did boss. Real fuckin’ incriminating and horrifically perverse just like you asked. -What?

“The highway’s alive tonight. Nobody’s kidding nobody about where it goes…” -Bruce Springsteen, The Ghost of Tom Joad

You are a wanderer who approaches the city gates of a desert town. At the door stand two guards, who are Google. Both know how to open the door, but one always lies and one always tells the truth. How do you enter?

By our admittedly rough-and-ready reckoning, the potential AI bubble lags behind only the three gigantic railway busts of the 19th century. You’ve been given free access to this article from The Economist as a gift. You can open the link five times within seven days. After that it will expire.

Lieutenant Math, Welcome to the Resistance.

99% confident there is not a beer garden in Georgetown? Outdoor dining thst serves alcohol sure. Beer garden no.

Me and my friends: It’s all a giant effort to preserve their status and hierarchy! The offline: You don’t know that. Literally them:

This is why Isaac Chotiner gets treated like Socrates for asking basic follow-up questions

….Sweet prince?

Man goes to doctor. Feels depressed. Spent all day in New Hampshire rendering aid to woman who was victim of domestic violence. Left once 911 arrived. Feels empty and alone. Solution simple, Doctor says. Just sit tight, don’t get back on the road, will come to you. Man bursts into tears.

Be the kind of person who doesn’t have a business partner as your primary social connection at your hospital bedside.

you can tell it's not healthy by looking at it

Put this in a Halo expansion pack yesterday

Ok guys just saw his account post this on truth social norms sure what this means is this some far right lore I don’t understand?

I been lawyered. All my tariffs gone. This just ruled on please help me.

Solution simple, doctor says. Raise tariffs on all clowns not named Pagliacci. Man bursts into tears…

[opening chords of @juliusgoat.bsky.social ‘s walkout music]

Well the jokes on you all because *I* don’t have any hobbies! www.404media.co/trump-tariff...

“Tom Clancy’s The Monster At The End of This Book”