Suspiciously asking my wife who's funding her anytime she criticizes me

Guy in California in 1861 hearing news the confederates fired on Fort Sumter: I hope my union brethren don’t take the bait.

@murderxbryan.bsky.social oh hell yeah

The same folks in the U.S. and U.K. who spend all day jumping up and down screaming about transgender athletes and men in women’s bathrooms have no issue with their daughters being exploited by Elon Musk. The definition of hypocrisy.

Kind of funny to hear Collinsworth talk about Aaron Rogers abilities as “surgical” when the man doesn’t believe in any medical advances since the 1890s.

If dipshits keep qualifying their criticisms of this illegal raid and kidnapping with “but maduro wasn’t a good guy etc etc” then Luigi should be allowed to use the approval ratings of health insurers as part of his legal defense.

None of the conservative talk radio stations in my market are carrying this idiot’s speech, they stuck with their Saturday infomercial schedule. In an ironic twist the only ones playing it are the two public radio stations.

2A boys, what’s up?

Hand up guys, I was just impressed with how he fired Dee Snider for not selling enough dog cupcakes, I never thought he’d make this big of a mess.

You should be embarrassed to be a member of congress and issuing anything other than impeachment resolutions. You're in the model UN. They should give you legos and a propeller hat

By my measure the skill AI has mastered the quickest is locating the exact spot on websites and apps to put their buttons so that I accidentally click them

it's crazy that 500 years ago, you would see the ruler of your country maybe once in your life and hear whispers that they're the Sun God, but now with social media, you get to see on a daily basis that they're the most unhinged, idiotic, and unhappy person you know

Jake, Paul, Anthony, Joshua. The four gospels

No one asked but here’s my case for LBJ being the first millennial president: Changed jobs 3 times in 4 years (Sen, VP, Prez) Bailed on the last job when it got hard Spent long hours using the phone while sitting on the toilet Stood out for being 8% better on civil rights than those around him

Will Smith with the big hit that lit up Los Angeles you say?

Pitching a show about people living with lactose intolerance. Shit: Welcome to Dairy

Trump spent a few weeks contemplating his own mortality, the afterlife etc. But, skimming from the government funded construction of a ballroom no one wants and seeing the Gambino family in the news will fire up the 1981 hemisphere in his brain and he won’t think about his own death for months.

The MAGA cult

I believe the AI that created Cuomo’s slop ads stole the facial structure of Robert Davi. Either that, or their faces and politics are rapidly racing toward each other in some sort of Italian Singularity.

The great dilemma of our time is teaching people that National Review’s archives being nearly inaccessible and things like this are directly related and not independent aberrations. But ChatGPT just turned on horny mode so the task gets more difficult by the minute. www.politico.com/news/2025/10...

George: I told her I was one of the founders of Antifa. Jerry: a founder of Antifa? George: I know… Jerry:…a founder…of Antifa? George: yeah, well, they’ve got the masks and the whole thing. I thought it sounded cool. Jerry: Antifa George: Antifa Jerry! ….And now she’s been arrested.

“Terrible things are happening outside. Poor helpless people are being dragged out of their homes. Families are torn apart. Men, women, and children are separated. Children come home from school to find that their parents have disappeared.” Diary of Anne Frank January 13, 1943

The term “alternative medicine” is funny because medicine is defined as the treatment and prevention of disease and alternative means another possibility so when you put them together you’re saying you choose a possibility other than the treatment and prevention of diseases.

We’ve finally answered the question of what it would look like to be handed control of the FBI at the same time you start streaming season three of Sons of Anarchy.

Frank White was a 5x All star for the Kansas City Royals. For 10 years he has served as the executive of the Jackson County (KC) legislature. He was recalled by voters for a host of reasons. And his opponents signs make me think of @davidjroth.bsky.social “remembering some guys.”

Watching closely for a boomerang effect where a bunch of MAGA weirdo moms abuse Tylenol in hopes their kids are good at computer.

Every time Tirico says “Skattebo” it feels like he’s doing and Adam Sandler line

OK, you can't watch Kimmel tonight, but this is every bit as funny.

Here’s a list of Nexstar stations if anyone is so disgusted by their kowtowing to fascists by cancelling Jimmy Kimmel that they want to make sure not to watch them. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...

That guys last words being “gang violence” is still so mind bending to think about. The equivalent of Michael Jordan’s last word being “basketball”

It’s about 20 degrees warmer than is normal for where I live, today. And the world’s richest man teamed up with the best friend of the prolific pedo to fire all the scientists who were looking into why it’s warmer now. How’s your day!

Lots of mockery for Kash Patel and his Valhalla comment, but what you don’t realize is that right wing doctrine dictates that anyone whose last words are “gang violence” goes straight to RW heaven and is seated at the right hand of Ayn Rand.

This seems like a good time to remind folks of my sincere belief that the internet should be a public utility and cost $1 a minute to access.

If the Republican Party wants to argue that skin color is all they need to see to decide the skill of a pilot then I get to decide this guy’s politics based on one thing, and that one thing I choose is that he drove a Dodge Challenger.

If the national guard is going to Memphis, can they start by shutting down the company whose turbines are spitting formaldehyde into the air and making the neighborhood the “asthma capital” of the US? Seems like a big crime that needs to be stopped @propublica.org www.propublica.org/article/memp...

Important to remember that everyone involved in renaming the DoD to the Department of War is afraid to take the subway.

This week on Jubilee, one toddler who wants to stay up late vs 20 parents who say it’s bedtime

The internet should be a public utility that cost $1/per minute of use. If people had spent the last two decades being forced to do this there wouldn’t be this white nationalist water slide funnel currently feeding the rupture of our country.

“The ruling Republican Party, run by the White ethnic majority, is described by many international observers as increasingly authoritarian. The party is led by a far-right former reality TV star who has been accused of using rhetoric which previously led to ethnic conflict in the region.”

Congrats to the nominal opposition for being to the right of *Bill Kristol* on Trump assualting DC

So the president CAN summon the national guard to DC? Because every republican in my life has spent the post January 6th era claiming Nancy Pelosi was the one who erred by not calling them up

usually if you ask experts why an empire fell they’ll say it’s nuanced and multifaceted, so i think it’s kind of cool that with America future historians will get to just say like “oh they took the idiot train to moronsville”

One thing I think about a lot is how Trump and his people claim there’s 15-20 million people here illegally and that most of them are violent criminals. There’s only 2 million violent crimes committed in America yearly! Even if Americans did 0 violent crimes (lol) how would those numbers work?

We should consider ourselves lucky if our adversaries start using these things. Akin to your opponent in an mlb game opting to use wiffle bats

I’ve officially decided we are living in a Stranger than Fiction situation, except that our reality doesn’t stem from a novelist’s imagination but, from draft tweets that @davidjroth.bsky.social deemed too outlandish to publish from 2015-2018.

Considering everything else happening this feels like one of those images of a small stem and leaf breaking through a dry windswept desert floor providing the smallest amount of hope

One Pope v. Twenty Anabaptists

Holy shit, they did it. They wrote the headline.

Hey @bencollins.bsky.social I think you guys have a copyright infringement lawsuit to win if you want it