christian mccaffrey looks like if you asked AI to create Military Guy

welt you guy

many important beavs on the bills roster, and i am thinking of them, but i need a jags win

Panthers :(

The ACC and the NFC South proving you don't have any reason to lock in until after the boring parts are done. Regular season is just optional busywork

I don’t sports bet but last night I paid $100 (on the Ducks to win) to execute the most perfect reverse jinx in history. You are welcome, Indiana fans. And Beavs fans. And Huskies fans.

It's wild how the people who build their entire identity around saying "don't tread on me" will look at video of the state murdering a woman in broad daylight and think "This is great. We should have more of this."

I wouldn’t wish Bluesky semi-virality on anyone

When a text fails to send on the subway and my phone is like “do you want to turn on the satellite?” I’m like yes I have to be texting right now. Call the coast guard do whatever you have to do to send this text

he should go to the beavs

I keep seeing people say this joke is outdated, but last time i was in london, i ordered tacos and they were mayo, lettuce, pomegranate seeds, and guac, so

girl idk, why are you asking me of all people

posting this meme to link to my newsletter, nothing to see here. it's also yours to steal, though, if you have taste.

Looking through NFL players' IG accounts for my newsletter, and I'm realizing how much I love when players do sponcon with regional brands, specific to wherever their team is. A huge defensive end doing an ad for a PNW tire chain kind of means everything to me for some reason

you leave the tv on after unrivaled and all the sudden you're watching impractical jokers

just need to post this publicly for when the mist wins unrivaled

they should let a girl do it

UNRIVALED DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whats going on in the city of los angeles these days? you dont hear much from those guys anymore

Adopted this cat from the streets of Wafra, Kuwait. Named him Karl-Anthony (KAT). Was posting him too much on Instagram. Had to justify more posts by using a different platform. He is unbelievable.

On one hand, I promised I’d save money for my trip to France in two weeks. On the other hand I need this seashell Doink tee for my trip to France in two weeks.

When it comes to football I always know when to go for it and when not to. I would bet my life on my ability to do so correctly the majority of the time. And I guess I just wanted you to know that

Zohran just did Jalen Brunson’s celly in his inauguration speech btw

To a 50+ year-old-man, the funniest person in the whole world is Kevin from The Office

god forbid a man hit the dougie in a sensitive way

why is everyone saying brock purdy cant dance i think he's good

Blazers absolutely have to move Deni while he has trade value which means of course we will not

Blake Wesley noticed a man wearing a Blazers cap and invited him to share a meal, continuing a tradition of community service instilled by his parents.

did anyone ever think that maybe james nnaji and trentyn flowers are just passionate about higher education

In denver you legally have to be vaping behind the wheel

Rhinoplasty Upper blepharoplasty Cheek filler Jaw filler Lip filler

not to be an american exceptionalist but this type of discourse is soo.................................

10 minutes in the Denver airport will undo decades of therapy

if you ever feel lonely, you can just text my family group chat a vague message about gas prices. you will have the people talking for hours

getting my Joker costume ready for chris paul's halloween party next year

me: you better not have the worst take of all time when i get there joel klatt:

Can anyone explain why these Billboard and Rolling Stone articles are basically exactly the same (with diff bylines)?

Watch this if you want a mood boost. Dont if you insist on being bummed

guess i'll die

time is a flat circle

can we get a philip rivers game-losing pick?? for old time's sake

Old Man vs the SEA

I’m so grateful that sports don’t exist this year 🙏

Put Patrick on ice and let Minshew drag this dead corpse to Cancun.

Tony Jefferson is a loser

Just want everyone to know there is a Villanova football championship ring in this very apartment where I sit. I married into that

Pitch: You live in NYC and you come hang out with Flagrant Mag (me) on 12/18 at Wilka's. We do arts and crafts, we make gifts for our loved ones, we make vision boards, we manifest riches beyond our wildest dreams.

The heist, "caught on film", had texture and warmth and an indescribable aura of authenticity that it would have lacked had it been shot with digital cameras.

i would like to meet someone who tweets fake reports/details in the midst of an intense and dangerous moment and i would like to tell them they are the biggest losers on the planet

beyonce is also 44 btw