Dear God // 07.17.26 // #originalsong #wildfires #midwest #folkpunk #songwriter // also just fyi, I absolutely put a gross filter on this for the sake of comedy. It's terrible here, but not THAT terrible

Fun! #originalsong #neurospicy #folkpunk #acousticpunk #songwriter originally posted on TikTok 07.15.26

Pop-Up Tab #originalsong #folkpunk #acousticpunk #songwriter originally posted on TikTok 07.14.26

#folkpunk #acousticcover Call In (1996) by Operation: Cliff Clavin This album came out when I was in high school and every day while driving to my suck-ass job, I would blast this song on repeat, which took both dedication and finesse because it was a cassette.

cover song: Boys Don't Cry (1979) by The Cure

cover song: Till My Head Falls Off (1996) by They Might Be Giants

sk8r eNBy

Apparently I'm doing covers now? Whatevs. Big Yellow Taxi (1970) by Joni Mitchell

I used to have a very weird life (well, weirdER) and as a result, I have a surprising amount of famous people's numbers still saved on my phone – one of whom is Bob Saget (RIP fr) and every now and then, I consider texting it just to tell whoever has the number now that it used to be Bob Saget's.

Why is everyone so fucking terrible to each other?

For the past two weeks, I've been listening almost exclusively to Grateful Dead and just in case you're wondering, yes - I'm somehow STILL more punk fucking rock than you. Keep on truckin, losers.

Hey, weird query, but does anyone remember a vaguely racist term from the 90s for using a lit cigarette to light another cigarette?

Hey nerds - anyone recognize this arm? I'm sorting through four decades of toys and I cannot for the life of me figure out who this belongs to. Also it's not Squanchy. I know it looks like Squanchy, but it's not Squanchy so don't say Squanchy.

A near-perfect find if you're a 600lb shut-in, though.

Despite never having considered it before, you know almost instantly with a high degree of confidence, if not resolute certainty, EXACTLY what it sounds like when Animal from the Muppets nuts. Perhaps you've always known.

Nicely baked and sipping coffee early on a Saturday morning, listening to John Coltrane and watching a walking tour of Kuala Lumpur on YouTube while my wife and dogs snooze in a cozy pile on the daybed. I may be a spectacular fuckup and broke loser, but man I must be doing something right.

The Go 24 Hours Without Hearing The President's Name Challenge

We need a matriarchy run by lesbians with clipboards and earpieces who do not take any shit.

I'm a knife guy but not, like, a Knife Guy. I mean, I love knives. They're rad and handy and dangerous and dangerous is cool and I swear I'm not a Knife Guy. I can't do any tricks or whatever and yeah, I always have one on me, but only one. I just f'n love knives and want more knives NOT A KNIFE GUY

BREAKING: A jury has found Live Nation and Ticketmaster to be an illegal monopoly that overcharges fans. After the federal government settled the case, 34 states kept pursuing the giant ticket and concert company. Now, the states have won.

All dogs go to heaven, all cats go to Sto'Vo'Kor.

you shouldn’t learn about bands from shady TikTok manipulation, you should learn about bands by hanging out with a girl you like but are also extremely afraid of

golly it's a taco tuesday miracle

jfc this garbage pail kids ass government

Quantum regulations are both inclusive and racist until observed

TSA wait times won’t matter when there’s no more jet fuel

When it's all over, at least no one will have learned anything

the media is now telling people to work from home to save on gasoline, immediately after their years-long crusade to tell us why returning to office is best for everyone. this isn't a gotcha, it's an example of how contradicting demands allow the ruling class to blame us no matter what we do

Self-care is over. We're spelling "calm" with a B now. Calmb. Feels good. Feels right.

I'm aware this is in poor taste, but I gotta get on record as calling this: I believe that in 2026, (maybe 2027) Pete Hegseth will eat a bullet. And whether it's cuz he's convicted of war crimes or cuz he fucks up so bad that even *he* can't live with it, I bet he posts his note (vid?) to Twitter.

It’s a bad achievement but a real achievement that we somehow managed to launch a war that was unpopular on day 1 instead of unpopular in year 10. We love that shit it was like the thing we always did. It’s like Winnie the Pooh spitting out honey.

I’m bad at graphic design, but they’re worse at lying

a new global pandemic would be REALLY funny right now.

We cannot have a woman president because they are too emotional, you see.

I wanted to see if this amazing photo would be even funnier in b/w, and I'm happy to report that yes—yes it is.

Having a good time ruining someone else's good time is our national pastime.

2025 is the year of toxic individualism

It's all just so fucking boring. Predictable, hack, soulless, lowest-common-denominator slop. People are fr dying so our leaders can make low-effort deep cable reality TV. The most boring people imaginable making the most boring content ever to be wedged betwixt ads for gambling apps and dick pills

Real Corndog Talk: Upon completion of the corndog proper, If you ain't frantically nibbling off the crispy burnt batter from the stick like a cartoon mouse eating corn on the cob, then you ain't really corndoggin', dawg.

When Evil Lurks may be one of the greatest horror films ever made and I cannot in good conscience recommend it to anyone ever for any reason jfc my soul

If I die and there's an afterlife but it turns out god is a daddy long legs, I'm fuckin cooked, son.

my adverbs are begrudgingly/reluctantly

I think i might be done with the internet, at least for a while. It's not even fun anymore. Like, wtf are we even doing? I'm pretty sure we're only here because we forgot how not to be. It's fuckin deranged. I'm gonna log out everywhere and go read some sci-fi paperbacks. That sounds really nice.

The title sequence for season 2 of Peacemaker is a high water mark for multimedia art.

I am of a time where Steve Urkle loomed large in the zeitgeist and I am grateful for this.

watching #voyager and my wife, in an act of impressively casual savagery, says "Harry Kim answers the question 'What if Geordi La Forge was even less cool?'"

inside me there are two wolves and the three of us are about to take down this bag of sour patch kids together. Not as a team, but as a pack. Awooo

what up bitches just spelt vacuum correctly first try, no google, IN PEN get on my fucking level

I used to hate the song No Rain as a kid but now I love it because it reminds me of being young and hating things.