Home from work 12 hours after I left. Today was one of the most challenging days I’ve ever had and not only did I pull off miracles I kept my cool and didn’t crash out even once. And! I was the person in charge because the bosses were gone! I’m really proud of myself (and exhausted)🥱

70% of my work day is spent sending emails asking people to do their jobs and I’m getting very tired of it.

Just got a work email with the salutation “Grand Rising everyone!” followed by totally normally worded work crap. Grand Rising?

Z’s moved back in while her cabin plumbing is kaput so today we’re building the Berlin Wall for cats. I have three. She has three. Pray to whatever you believe in for peace in my home 🙀

CLICK THROUGH TO THE THIRD PHOTO I can’t imagine what his actual name is but he my new fave hockey 5eva. Getting a jersey.

The comments are a tire fire but this is cyclic vomiting- the disorder my kid has had since age 7. It’s your vagus nerve misfiring, puking every 5-10 min so hard you burst blood vessels for 18 straight hours and it’s a misery you can’t comprehend. If you get it from weed you’re lucky- you can stop

I quit them even tho I haaaaate the apple UI and you know what? It’s fine. My life is exactly as good even if I’m missing a few playlists. I’ve already forgotten they existed and I’m not financially supporting (as much) evil. I’ll call it a win.

I’ve spent upwards of 12 minutes trying to find the necklace Ads wears in Peacemaker with no luck. I’m complaining on the internet in hopes that fixes my problem. It’s 2 chains, one with a hand flipping the bird and the other with a hand in “love” sign. I need it or I will DIE.

Eagley is the best DC character ever created. I said what I said.

Did Miro score?!

I don’t know what the Dallas Stars did to anger God but it was baaaaad. Our new jerseys are too good? Our boys are too beautiful? I don’t know what it was but the answer is probably sacrificing Modano.

Shelter dogs picking toys: #AdoptDontShop #AGoodPlace Source: www.reddit.com/r/BeAmazed/s...

Just had a Chicago (Aurora) transplant tell me: -The population here is just like Chicago -The cost of living here is much higher -Southern hospitality is a lie b/c no one waves or says hello back, they don’t want to talk to you at ALL. Huh. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Friends! This week, Rowan's Gender Affirming Wardrobe project is running a fundraising campaign at giving.rowan.edu/project/48526. If you can, maybe toss in a couple bucks to help this project organize donations and buy things that don't/shouldn't get donated (like binders and makeup).

If you're trying to ditch NYT Games, which you should be since their games singlehandedly prop up the entire dogshit rag financially, you should switch to Puzzmo. An annual sub is 50% off today for a crazy $19 and as a bonus doesn't enable the genocides of Palestinians and trans people

I have 30+ containers of glitter yet don’t have the 1 color I need?! And it’s silver- literally the most common glitter color possible. I have an entire ROOM in my home that houses nothing but my craft supplies this shouldn’t be a problem I have 🤣

Rabbit rabbit

Wake Up Dead Man was great!!

If you choose to watch the Hulu Murdaugh murders show you know what you signed up for but I can NOT with the Northern Exposure guys fuck-off Foghorn Leghorn accent.

Happy #Duckerday 🦆 @cornduck3.bsky.social

i have GAINED CONSCIOUSNESS there is STILL A SALE GOING ON you should go BUY SOME STUFF http://TheVagabondTa... I am going to go EAT BREAKFAST & then PACK SOME ORDERS

Z drove me home AND let me eat her dill pickle chips (TJ’s brand, extremely mid). I’m thankful for every single thing in my life. Wash your face and put on moisturizer before you go to bed; I love you.

The 9 year old is sharing her kraft mac & cheese with me life is so great.

OMG Fisher Stevens is in brownface and invented Apu! What the FUCK?!! I need another cookie.

The tv has inexplicably changed to Short Circuit. Number 5 is cooking morning-after breakfast for Ally Sheedy why the fuck were we allowed to watch this movie at age 8? What the fuck.

Oh no Sushi is this handsome smooth-brained young lad. Sancho was the previous lap friend.

This is my best friend Sushi. Yes, I really am this blurry.

Update: everyone here is passing around photos of their dogs. A woman just very seriously said “We have a Double Doodle” and I laughed so hard I almost peed.

Update: she is just like me. Mistakes have been made. We’re having the BEST time.

My dear friend invited me over to bake holiday cookies tonight and I hope she’s just looking for moral support/wisecracks/ dishwashing. Baking doesn’t play well with my ADD and I can’t decorate for shit. Also I’m trying a THC seltzer for the first time (it tastes like shit, it better fuck me UP)

PLEASE CONSIDER THIS YOUR NOT-SO-SUBTLE REMINDER THAT IF YOU WANT A BOOK THAT WILL NOT ADD TO YOUR EXISTENTIAL ANGST *WHILE* SOLVING A MYSTERY DURING THANKSGIVING: IT IS VIVIANA VALENTINE GOES UP THE RIVER. GET IT WHEREVER YOU WANT: tr.ee/1F7L9-CWs8

My job don't know it but ... yeah.

Poured a bourbon and sat down to do my nails while listening to the Behind The Bastards on Bo Gritz. They started the ep with a drinking game so heaven help my right ring finger and pinky 😵

<David Byrne voice> This is not my beautiful Mooterus

Refreshing my socials like when he got covid, but hoping for a mooterus instead of death 🤞🏒🥅

My uncle’s parents dog died loudly under the dinner table in the middle of The Big Meal. Accusations of someone feeding the (horrible) dog illicit foods flew amidst the tears and general hysteria while my mom crawled around trying to clean the carpet and yelling at everyone to finish eating.

I got to work at 7:30 to get caught up before the day started and SURPRISE when I left work at 5:45 nothing on my to-do list was done. Logging back on from home because at least I can have a drink and be braless. Sigh.

I have SIX client appointments next Monday. I’d like to offer a heartfelt fuuuuuck yoooooooou to the agents who scheduled these for the first day back after a 4-day holiday weekend. I hope you all get hemorrhoids so bad you can’t sit down and it looks like you got a butt period.

My assistant and I just made a pact to quit dropping so many F-bombs in casual conversation and while we absolutely need to clean up our language I have no idea how to fucking do this.

I was mad because I had Alan Jackson’s “Chattahoochee” stuck in my head all day but now I have “I’m My Own Grandpa”. Remember, kids: things can always get worse 👍

Happy Wolfenoot to all who celebrate! www.wolfenoot.com/about

For the uninitiated, Marie-Philip Poulin and Laura Stacey of the Montreal Victoire are married, have a habit of fighting on the ice for each other, and got penalties together at today's game. Hockey romance is not a fictional genre in the women's game, that's for sure.

My tiny infant baby is on his way to @jenleepa.bsky.social for the holiday. I’m sad for my first holiday without him but so grateful for our family of choice. 🥹💜

Sound spiked LOUD again. TV volume is on 2 and it’s still too loud. F1TV on Roku is the wooooooorst.

Hamilton’s helmet is phenomenal! #F1

The sound on my F1 feed keeps going REALLY LOUD then super quiet. It did it last night and tonight; I’m so glad I pay for this.

AHHHHH that first turn! #F1

I would do unspeakable things to own this

There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out He's choking, how?