Inconceivable. 😢

I’m not sure what to think, but I know bombing “drug” boats and seizing oil tankers are two different things…

Dear public establishments, When I said I didn't want to hear holiday music, I didn't mean go with David Lee Roth covering the Beach Boys.

If we scribble his name on every thrift store trophy we can find and send boxloads of them to the White House in the name of the American people, maybe then he'll stop trying to destroy our lives?

Red card!

Season's Greetings from the birthday girl.. youtu.be/gOMjP0vS30Q?...

"Life Behind Bars: That Time Those Guys Came to Install an HVAC System"

Why do supposedly straight-laced people fight so hard against drug use? Don't they think they have an advantage in the labor market over the stoned?

Happy Thanksgiving, turkeys. 🦃

youtu.be/fmLfpoj5e84?... This is how I show my gratitude for you?! Yes, it is. 💕

My fifth favorite #Thanksgiving napkin.

Put your wish list here instead of Amazon. Totally free, no ads, etc. www.thingstogetme.com

Happy International Men's Day. youtu.be/z6IhNcnLwiw?...

"Quiet, piggy." --Fred Trump

From @ericidle.bsky.social & Neil Innes' brilliant & criminally overlooked/unavailable RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION, here's a truncated glimpse of George Harrison's Christmas 1975 guest appearance runner, where he didn't want to perform a song - He really just wanted to play a pirate...

81 years ago, FDR proposed a second Bill of Rights to guarantee every American the right to employment, healthcare, education, housing, and a living income. His words are as relevant now as they were then. Watch.

It's not a proper dental x-ray unless that little, plastic bit is stabbing the roof of your mouth.

@markwarner.bsky.social Don't cave!

Can we stop calling them "T****'s rich friends"? I'm asking on behalf of "T****'s rich friends."

A modest proposal (sans irony): Tax all personal and corporate income/profits above $1 billion at 100%. (We can always lower that threshold later.)

The National Association of the Deaf is celebrating a legal victory against the White House. A judge ordered ASL for briefings conducted by the press secretary or President Trump. n.pr/43W4f6r

Winsome, Losesome. (how many people have been sitting on that one for months?)

After decades of resisting, I tried peanut butter on celery. I love both, but together didn't do it for me. Then I put peanut butter on one of those vanilla sandwich cookies from Dollar Tree. Uh-oh.

When you know you've found the right dentist.

Where are you supposed to dance at these so-called balls?

His tombstone will read, "Thank you for your attention." It will also quickly be covered in piss and shit.

The enemy within.

So you can just hire a demo company to tear down a wing of the White House and they don't question it?

Hey, George Soros, hire a team of architects now to start planning the restoration of the White House.

Here’s a Halloween sneak peek at our newest project! We set out to recapture the magic of real kids just being themselves and pairing it with truly magnificent animation. PLEASE SHARE!!!!! We'd love to make more!

We see what we want to see. For a second yesterday, I thought I saw @piperformissouri.bsky.social at the DC gathering.

On my way to do America shit.

Thanks, WTF! 🌅⛵ www.wtfpod.com/podcast/epis...

when it comes to art just throw the fucking thing nobody needs to know what you were aiming for they just wanna see how far it goes

@bluevirginia.bsky.social Have you seen the Earle-Sears ad in which a woman claims her son had to "share a urinal" (huh?) "with a girl who thought she was a boy" (because girls are always using urinals, right?)

Reuters photographer Jonathan Ernst noticed that Bondi flipped open a file during the Senate hearing and he zoomed in. Inside were her crib notes for attacking the senators. The GOP now practicing Cliff's Notes Fascism In other words, under oath Bondi was purely a performance.

Bumper sticker I saw today: "Don't blame me. I voted for Trump."

Help me out on this. MAGA controls all three branches of government, including both houses of Congress. Is this shutdown issue one of those 60% things? Thanks, smart people.

Minnesota: Split bipartisan legislature. Kept the government open. Invested in improving lives. Responsible budget cuts. Washington: Republicans control House, Senate, Oval Office. Government shutdown. Driving up health care costs by thousands. Skyrocketing national debt.

If I know one thing, it's this. Next time I visit my mother, I'm probably going home with free Tylenol that she refuses to use now.

If an ABC affiliate has right of first refusal, does that mean a competitor station can pick up the Kimmel shows Sinclair won't air?

FML.

If Jimmy Kimmel had just stuck with Man Showing, he'd be Secretary of Labor now.