no bragmo but all my coworkers’ children are sick and ill and vomitting out of every orifice and they all want to die fieri, meanwhile after work my beautiful wife and i are going to sleep in a free fancy hotel room and eat chicken in a big bed

that 2:30 feeling (miss my wife)

am i allowed to feel proud of my therapist for opening her own practice?? im just very happy for her! also its nice that my neuroses played a role in her success, they might as well be profitable for someone for once

i have tried the dunkin banana cold foam. and it is okay.

got some mini fine art paintings in mini frames so i can make my wife a mini art gallery (wife is regular size)

this ovi retrospective…

Okay CTA. This is a good sign.

i would get sooooo nauseous in space

great now i have to tell my therapist how i forgot my girlfriend has a hair appointment tonight and when i got home to an empty apartment i went straight to “well she’s almost certainly dead, im a widow now…”

i love to wait fifteen minutes for a bus at rush hour only to have it break down after four stops because some FUNKY FACED BITCH couldn’t understand STANDING CLEAR OF THE BACK DOOR!!!!

they gotta release me back into the wild, man

i know i’m overstating bc of personal proximity but i rly do think if you guys knew how ass backwardsly ran the library is at a high level you would spit on the ground in disgust

i just don’t understand, man. being a person who’s alive in the world is the most incredible thing. and it means nothing to these ghouls. i’ll never ever understand. god willing i will never understand a single iota.

everything just hurts the soul so bad lately

You know what? I'll admit it. The credible threat by a madman to wipe out a nation of 90 million people for basically no reason (presumably using nuclear weapons) successfully distracted me. I am now distracted.

waiting on an important ~deliverable from another department at work with an original deadline of january 17th

the levels of elite impunity we are seeing now and the levels of war crimes we are seeing now are two aspects of the same path of historical development. right now they see war as our problem (and their investment opportunity). it is world historically important that we make war their problem again

I guess we're just waiting around to see if this demented psychopath kills everyone: defector.com/i-guess-were...

do u guys wanna see pierre doing something weird with his foot. since everything else makes me feel INSANE!!!!

mom is texting me her suspicions that the at least some of the music video for “american band” by grand funk railroad was shot in front of our cabin. and i think she’s right…

the drain on our balcony was clogged and it made an INCREDIBLE glugging sound when i unclogged it

i love and relate to alligators; i respect and admire crocodiles

too cold today. what is the yzerplan for this

if i went to space (which i wouldn’t) and i still had to deal with outlook i would kill my Self by opening the hatch door and simply stepping out

wearing a vest at work today… if anyone even cares…

asked my coworker why we have early release tomorrow and turns out i forgot about something called “easter” yet again

i know i’m in a pissassy mood because i was ranting about work for a while to el and then ended with AND ALSO I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE MOON MISSION!!! i don’t really mean that im just worked up over emails

space is none of my business

i’m tired of feeling like a boomer because nobody acts right at work anymore!!! everyone is so very comfortable being noticeably rude and causing problems for their colleagues in the workplace and it’s making me genuinely insane!!! we live in a society!!!

there’s a fruit fly that’s been living in the work bathroom stall i prefer and we’ve developed a business relationship this week

el just gasped, stood up, and said “my pepper!” and then walked briskly into the kitchen

in honor of getting my raise tomorrow can i just say i love my union job

i’m fixing my life (laundry-wise)

the jfk jr show was NOT good but it DID make me weep, fish in a barrel etc and so forth

absolutely HAVE to lock in at work today. so i have made three granny squares so far obviously

one of my greatest linguistic influences was in high school when i took a community college philosophy class over the summer and a guy in it said the phrase “pissingmeoffly enough” one day and it has stayed with me for over two decades

i consider baseball a sister sport to hockey, which makes opening day basically like your nephews birthday party. i have no real stake in the whole thing but i’m happy for everyone involved and to be here in general

brain feels extra loose lately. just rattlin around

time to steal some valor

i don’t think i will achieve inner peace until i can whack one of them delivery robot into smithereens with a baseball bat

everything is $60 or $300

what the hell coat am i supposed to wear when the day starts out at 38 degrees but ends at nearly 70, YOU TELL ME

tried to hit my crochet hook instead of my weed pen. twice.

el just told me they took our dumpsters out of the alley. a bold municipal strategy…

they’re NOT friends!!!!!

and harry truman watched over us as we ate shellfish eyepatchedly, amen

people are going to stop hanging out with me if i don’t stop making every conversation about how much i hate and am personally and professionally offended by the obama center. but i can’t stop!!!!!

moms tryna get us to move to france again