Oh FUCK, I’m about to bear down 🫦

Girl I don’t want to cry I want to sleep 😮‍💨

LOVE that my cats actively fight from 4:42-6:07am every night 😍

Deli Boys season two is filming outside my apartment in a week and someone approached me as I walked asking for my info to maybe be an extra??? 😭

Anyways I dressed normally today 😛

She’s giving 90s realness w/ a side of Fairly Odd Parents 😛💚💗

No new pictures, where are you mentally?

About to make a blueberry syrup bc why tf not??? ((I fear I’m in my house husband era))

I know I’m in my early thirties bc all I wanna do is post my cooking and post work out thirst traps; anyways, Hot Chocolate Rolls with Marshmallow Icing 😛

Good morning from my anxiously attached daughter Bean who knows NO boundaries 😭

And she’s doneeeee. It was super yummy and I put the breadsticks back in the oven a lil bit to melt the cheese more but DAMN I can cook yall 🫦

Watch this space; ya boi is making pizza from scratchhh

I finally made an insta aka I was bullied by my work besties grace and josh and NUMEROUS others 😭

Drop someone SHOCKED! ((Idk what that says in Russian tho 💀))

Why are you gay?

This was an ad on my work computer btw

Just saw two npcs from Bloodborne scissoring on my TL ignore my last post 😭💀

Ive spent a large part of my young life "Turning the other cheek" & "Being the Bigger Person" So Happy of the Petty Man I have Become. I can still show Empathy & take yo fcvkn h*ed off b4 you can finish your breath, without blinking or shedding a tear. Living, Thriving, Unbothered I love Us🥂👆🏾🤣❤️

Anyways she’s a lil tipsy on the train home ama 😛

I think I got micro agressed at a bar rn?? I told the bar tender I’m a bud tender and sell weed legally and she looks at me and says “and I bet illegally at one time too!” Like HUH?? 😭

Alright chat, do you take your jock off to shit or nah??

Gay and straight gym bros: GET TO THE GYM *Jan 1st hits* Same gym bros: UGH there’s no room at my gym and I wish that yall-

A lil bit of an update? I think my ass be getting PHATTER but idk yall ((Forgot to tag/mark the first post yall 😭))

Sorry I’ve been taking a lil social media break to be a lil more health focused and like OKAY calf muscles and lil baby arm muscles 😛 I hope everyone had a good time celebrating the holidays 🥰

Didn’t go to Homobloc so dragged @d4nnyj4mes.bsky.social to the park it went well

Hi I’m so fucking tired and exhausted 🕺

I have not stopped saying this lmao

I wasn’t a FAGGOT when I took money from my tip jar to help your straight unwashed wet dog smelling crusty and dusty lips with dirty ass fingernails that’d make flies die having ass NOW WAS I?

Got my second homophobic customer 🫦

I was on the train yesterday on my way to worwhen one of yalls holes was getting DRILLED and the gay behind me saw and said “need that”. So to you train gay, I hope you’re getting railed with dick and cock today. You deserve 🥰

Body by Pizza Hut, a lil bit of seasonal depression, and maryiguana

Me sending @nerduscockus.bsky.social a voice chat while my cat actively makes a mess; we’re SO back 😛

Kinda starting to feel like I’m giving a lil bit more energy than others in some departments and imma have to stop that and give said energy to those who reciprocate bc I have not been doing so 🥰

Sorry I’m high imma rant~ ITS IN THE NAME, CURRENCY EXCHANGE. That’s like me calling myself an “Ass Eatery” and then refusing to eat ass like “oh sorry we don’t gobble on gooch here!” HUH?!?

“What’s a gay child called, Gabe? A faglet?” - Grace, rn 😭💀

Yikeeeees 😬

Ykw what’s CRAZY is I’d probably apologize for not getting robbed correctly LMFAO

I need more fags/friends to hang out with on my days off. This is what I bring: • A vape and/or edible at all times • Singles. Lots of fucking singles • A disgusting hatred for the string of Illinois currency exchanges (see above)

Lowkey still so annoyed that my local currency exchange won’t take one hundred singles and give me a singular one hundred dollar bill like ????

Who tf is Duncan and why does he always have DONUTS?!

I fucking love my boyfriend look what he got me 😭

I’d lowkey let Marv hit it idc 🫦

In honor of my 31st birthday, I will be posting 31 of my favorite cursed things 🫦

For my 31st birthday tomorrow I’d love if my knees could stop cracking

FUCK I should have come to work dressed like a Lipton t-bag bc my body is TEAAA~

It’s 3:45am and my demon cats won’t let me fucking SLEEEEEEEP. Anyways ask me anything? Idk 😭💀

“You won’t eat mushrooms but you’ll eat ass?!” Yes.

Excuse the brain rot; I’m just waking up 🫦🥰

y’all don’t understand how funny i think i am and that’s all who matters when i post