I quietly achieved a year off nicotine vapes this week, please clap

#EnbyLife Journal is open for submissions from 1-7 Jan 2026! Next year we’re making some changes - we’ll be open for submissions more frequently & each submissions round will be themed. Jan’s theme is EUPHORIA. Send us your poetry, microfiction (under 100 words), & art. enbylife.net/submissions

sorry for swearing so much, it’s just that what the fuck

Bluesky at night, shitposter’s delight

I’m so glad I taught the Child phonics if the schools aren’t doing it anymore. The alternative sounds like it’s endumbening the kids

sorry I'm late! I have at last broken my silence on Pantone's Color of the Year johnpaulbrammer.substack.com/p/cloud-danc...

jealousy psychiatrist

(living an unexamined life) yaaaaaay haha yay wheeeeee

Well, AI took my job lmao

I actually saw the Dead Kennedys this year! It was sick

wrote about the recent national controversy at my alma mater johnpaulbrammer.substack.com/p/samantha-f...

FUCK THE SALVATON ARMY - dashare.zone ADMIN

Volunteers offered me a free hot meal in the city on Friday night. I will not be dressing better though

The Child was recently pretending to be a bat, running in circles going ‘I’m a batty boy!’ 😬

I wonder what proportion of mac and cheese and chicken nugget sales is to autists

My poor anxious ginger cat was startled by a fart

35 °C and not quite summer, normal habitable planet

i just remembered i meant to post this card my boyfriend made me for our anniversary this year

My brain has created ‘carpet scratchers’ as a slur for cats

Incredible headline.

I feel that my spine xray report could have just said kyphotic instead of calling me Johnny Deformed

(ED) . . . I just had a flashback to being an anorexic teen and sleeping with the window open in winter because shivering burns calories. I had forgotten how absolutely cooked ED brain gets

I’m far too high for this, none of this

I have a joke about the Tower of Babel but you wouldn't understand it

Nausea is probably not quite as bad as pain but boy it’s close

My bird bones and I have finally been to the gym on consecutive days, please clap

The uber radio is playing East 17 and I still know every word

Someone has a pet pigeon called Stanley Coobrick omg

I came home today to the cats seemingly having turned on the tv

Look at these little creatures I met at yoga

A girl asked for my number to text me a photo she took of my butt (with a cat during kitten yoga). Not sure if hitting on me or perceiving me as a harmless gay but definitely one of those, right

Oh boy, pop culture echolalia! That’s where I’m a viking!

This sounds foul lol

[mournful mooing-like snore]

I’ve been kind of depressed but I have a blunt and a ticket to kitten yoga for this afternoon so it’s not all bad

I was having kind of a bad day last week when a guy ran up in the street to tell me he recognised the artist tattooed on my arms. Hell yeah brother

The Toddler was using gendered pronouns for the ants we were killing and it was quite unsettling

Maybe if I try hard I can remember a good work story not involving pizza

I once had the absolute pleasure at work of telling a customer that the price of a pizza was non-negotiable

the algorithm is giving me suicide notes 😬

Mr Burns ass scheme

Normalise calling people who are obsessed with bringing trans people up in every argument “weirdos” and “perverts” instead of debating them

I was 23 years ago asked for extra japaleenos on a pizza

Fucked if I can remember who this was, so I guess I’ll probably see her again

recently discovered that wikipedia volunteers have a hilariously high bar for what constitutes "unusual death"

Speaking of drag, ideal place to cut off this sentence lol

Can’t stop thinking about my idiot fan theory that Lisa is Bart in drag in that one scene

New Running Man movie?! I bet it has a different ending to the original