How do I get paid for the emotional labour of dealing with money guys from Calgary and their inability to accept that their feelings aren't determinative of reality?

Coyotes on my way to work two days in a row but no used condoms or piles of black ice cans. Is nature healing?

@nigelb.bsky.social so the province will legislate its way out of lawsuits against aimco over pension losses but won't against coal companies. They only seem to struggle with paying out when it can help Albertans....

In the realm of the homesenses

Mars in total recall is not pedestrian friendly

This cat is my son. He came out of my wife. It was a nightmare. We still wake up screaming at the idea of his birth. We cannot legally get rid of him and so everyday his presence reminds us of his godless abominable birth. We live in this hell every day. He goes crazy for those squeeze sticks.

Élie Cantin-Nantel is so sick of "experts"

Cow Tools is even more relevant than ever.

So George Jetson's father's name was Jet?

Why wasn't it Pope John Paul Too?

My label is erectords records

AI art is sort of a shit of Theseus.

Releasing my Tron: Legacy and Dr Dre' s the Chronic mash up. Yes, society clamors for The Tronic.

Ghostface Chiller is the name of my beer cooler

SCOOP: Two senior Alberta Health Services procurement officials were also briefly directors in a numbered company linked to MHCare, a supplier that has been awarded $$$ in business, The Globe and Mail has found By @tomcardoso.bsky.social, @hoserlibrarian.bsky.social and friend

Making me want Jimmy Kimmel back on the air isn't the worst thing that the Trump admin has done but it's gotta be on the list somewhere.

Someone said The Rapture is coming and I said oh sweet I really liked that one album and then they made an angry face and I did not ask them why

tfw i come on here to tell everyone i have a new, obscure soccer history deep dive coming soon

Why don't goblins gobble more?

Said it for years: the UCP wants their government to pick its voters, not the other way around. First voter ID laws. Now open attempts at gerrymandering. edmontonjournal.com/opinion/colu...

The UCP is upset at the City of Edmonton for *checks notes* not consulting before making decisions. Their lack of knowledge on bike lane engagement is surpassed only by their lack of self-awareness. www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...

PigPen was just in opposition to the Ba'athists.

Vote for me for king and I will rename it Fuckingham Palace both legally and in spirit.

Yabba dabba do the humpty hump, do the humpty hump

Mmmmmbop was about The Warriors trying to get back to Coney, right?

Me to the wutang killer bees: gentlemen, fight your own battles

Pitching Seth Rogan on more characters for the next Sausagefest movie later today (yes there was a sequel). Here is what I have so far: Peter the grape. Alexander the grape. Harriet Tubofmayonaiseman. That is it. Help me my family is sick and I need this.

Wuhan Clan's debut album Enter the Wuhan (36 Biosafety Level 4 Chambers) just dropped and it has skits between the songs where they order in take out and forget to take off a glove when getting the cash and guys I think we have figured out what happened

I am tired of explaining my "hot chicks only" shirt is about Jack Chick burning in hell for his hate I am bad at t-shirt design I get it mom

Do they still do porno parodies? If so, is there a The Squirt Game out there? Help I don't have access to search engines for the purpose of this "joke".

Pouring 5 beers together and calling it swamp water.

Of course Florida picks the I won't eat pussy guy to start their home game #panthers #nhl

The Privy Council is just a fancy way of saying the King's toilet pals.

Me trying to bridge the political divide in this country: The Creep in Creepshow two has a testicles chin, right? Like his chin is a pair of shaved balls? We can at least agree on that?

I hope someone got Pierre a nice soothing balm for this third-degree burn.

Oh wow, Alberta Information and Privacy Commissioner has issued a report finding the Alberta government is broadly not complying with freedom of information laws

Elon wandering the streets shoeless in a disintegrating suit with a turkey baster full of cum begging women with cell phones to take it from him.

The clinical term is boogiephobia.

The duality of man.

Corporate leaders are obsessing over GDP per capita. But, if you look at just about any number that would meaningfully tell you how well our economy is doing, Canada does better than the U.S. @mendelmatt.bsky.social @jimstanford.bsky.social #alwayscanada #never51 #gdp #cdnpoli #cdnecon

"But you said no one is above the law!" "Oh, you got it all screwed up. I said 'No! One is above the law!"

JD Vance isn't as dangerous to Popes as some are claiming. The Pope did not die OF JD Vance. He only died WITH JD Vance.

I hear that the Wendy's guy died again recently.

I hope the Emperor of Humanity in 40k has a name like Barry Jones or something like that. Kevin Tuttle. Biff Tanenbaum.