About 45 minutes into teaching an online class before I realised I was using my wife's special glass.

Ad: Wakefield Bathroom Carpets. Available in Green or Yellow. Deep pile or shag pile.

News: Wakefield Football Federation announces it will, for the first time, be awarding a Best City Prize.

My podiatrist told me I have the feet of a runner.

Traffic lights are a weird phenomenon. I mean how often do you see people breaking the rules whilst driving? Speeding, throwing litter, overtaking dangerously, tailgating... But it's very rare to see people not stop at a red light. It's like the final taboo.

Until AI can make polite small talk with superiors whilst harbouring a deep seated resentment and masking a crippling mental illness, I think my job is safe.

I feel like I need to get one of these badges, but instead of a slider it's just permanently fixed in the red.

If you laid all the sweets, made by Wakefield District's Haribo factory for Halloween, in a line, you'd have enough to give every child in Great Britain type 2 diabetes. #WakeyPedia

Classy when you're rich but trashy when you're poor.

Just apologised to a homeless man for not being a smoker.

The "Past Members" section of the Wheatus Wikipedia page is worth a read. As a taster, someone has created a graphical timeline:

-Hey, we've just dumped a load of pumpkins in that field over there. Do you want to pick one up? -Yeah, sure. -Ok, that'll be £25 please.

I've just found out I've been pronouncing Poke Bowl incorrectly. I can't show my face in Leeds ever again.

Drill a hole through one of those and you've got a nice souvenir keyring.

I'm beginning to think Norwich and Durham are actually the same. Have you ever seen them both in the same same place as the same time? Thought not.

I wish people would shut up about not being able to say anything anymore. I'd call them out but you're not allowed to say anything anymore. I'm not even allowed to post this post anymore.

Look at my massive hand.

After hearing the terrible news that's affected Leeds this week, we'd like to announce that we're laying down our arms and are willing to welcome those displaced by the inhumane conditions that Roundhay residents will soon have to endure. #WarOnLeeds

Breaking news: Teacher who left job because they "might as well stack shelves in Aldi for this wage" discovers supermarket work is much harder than they thought it would be.

You don't have to be neurotypical to work here, but it helps.

Too revealing

Macka pud.

News: Man charged at Wakefield Magistrates with possession with intent to supply class A scientific knowledge. He was found with journal articles and books with the estimated street value of £25k.

"Why can't they just leave Wakefield exactly as it was in the 70s?" says local resident who no longer spends any money in local businesses.

Alcoholism, the cure all treatment. Now available on Wood Street Wakefield.

Paging @visitwakefield.bsky.social

Eee, it's like stair rods.

I can

Breaking news: A secret meeting of world religious leaders this morning has come to the unanimous decision that god doesn't exist. They have agreed to dismantle all formal religions over the next few days.

I watched the first episode of Alma's Not Normal ages ago and dismissed it as another quirky character sitcom. I decided to give it another try and by episode 5 this is hitting hard. It deals with mental health, drug abuse, and care leavers in a realistic but still funny way. Worth a watch.

Utility companies are preparing for the back to school traffic in Wakefield.

Classic.

People say all news is depressing these days. It's good to see a feel good story once in a while. Well done BBC.

Breaking news: Thousands of flags for the patron saint of Palestine put up accross the country as a sign of solidarity with Gaza.

If you want to enter our Architectural Photography Competition, there are just 6 days left! Deadline for entries is 5pm on Friday, 29th August. You don't have to be a member of the Society to enter and you could win a cash prize! Details here: wakefieldcivicsociety.org.uk/2025-archite...

Algorithms are weird. I've been dismissing/hiding the erectile disfunction adverts and now I'm getting divorce lawyer adverts.

News: Government announce age verification checks for looking at the bushes behind the bus shelter.

Official apology: When we promised that Wakefield would be your "Ultimate" Holiday, we actually meant the other definition of that word.

McAfee scam detector? Is that an oxymoron?

Bought this book by the people who do @smbccomics.bsky.social. I'm hoping to get some ideas for when we build a Wakefield on Mars in a couple of years time.

I was a bit perturbed by the printing errors on bread buns in Wakefield, mislabelled as teacakes. I shall be following up with trading standards obviously.

The Wakefield Express is a legitimate news outlet. The Wakefield Express is a legitimate news outlet. The Wakefield Express is a legitimate news outlet. ... sigh...

Not only have I wrangled a day off - and a Monday at that - but have been very privileged to be allowed to visit the actual @visitwakefield.bsky.social 🎉🥳 Turns out it's a very wonderful place, with plenty of history and lots to see. There's a real skull hanging on a wall in the cathedral!

A fine testimonial indeed.

Planning a little walking tour of Wakefield today for some top secret VIP visitors. It makes me realise that actually there's some nice stuff to see in Wakefield. #VisitWakefield

Very excited to finally be able to @visitwakefield.bsky.social tomorrow. I'll let you know if the streets are really paved with gold.

In Bishop A for an extended family gathering. Wearing a beige suit so I blend into the buffet if I need to hide.

CEX in Wakefield. Stay classy @visitwakefield.bsky.social (I was tempted to go in wearing shoes and a singlet and nothing else. Being as I look like an uncooked lasagna that has been rolled in fag ash and pubes I decided against it.)

Paris was meh. It was a fun day to walk around the major landmarks and absorb some prescribed "Culture". But, as the same goes for any big city, you're going to struggle to experience real Paris without living there and finding a sub-culture lifestyle that you fit into.

I think there's been a spelling mistake.