Japanese fans cleaning up after themselves at World Cup is getting rave reviews from guy who never returns his shopping cart at Safeway.

"If I knew how to write books, writing books would bore me. And the books I’d write would bore me. And the books I’d write would bore you. "

Two days into summer vacation and I'm dressing down teenage boys at Wendy's. These weren't even mine. They should've said, Sir this is a Wendy's and laughed at me. Really need to learn how to relax.

Put Flo Balogun's name on the Kennedy Center

One thing I enjoy about these international sporting events is hearing Eastern European national anthems that sound exactly like what you'd hear at a dictator's funeral. Canada's is very underrated.

Save us, Hee Chan

These Panini Coca Cola stickers might be the only time you say Ugh, Lamine Yamal again?

One of funniest things about soccer is the disappointment my wife feels when some handsome Spaniard launches a snot rocket. There's no equivalent for men. If Halle Berry, Shakira, etc launched a snot rocket, that would kinda rule.

Anyone in Ireland - preorder your copy here with free delivery ! thebookshop.ie/guillermo-st... @guillermostitch.bsky.social

Ryan was an absolute gentleman and fun to talk to. Never got to meet him in person, but the warm friendliness really came through every time we spoke.

Hello I have written 1400 words (this is a lie because a few hundred of those words are review quotes) about a book that I think is so beautiful and important, @suzyeynon.bsky.social’s novel, Terrestrial. buttondown.com/MalarkeyBook...

Put Flo Balogun's name on the Kennedy Center

I flipped from Germany-Finland to USA-Sengal 🫡 🇺🇸 🦅🗽🤰🫈♻️🧸

I love it when a review is a thing of beauty in its own right, revealing (betraying) the reviewer's delight, surprise, exasperation. Deepest thanks to Reggie Chamberlain-King and @popmatters.com www.popmatters.com/coast-of-eve...

I drink a lot of Coke, so when I saw the World Cup logo on the neck of a Stella, I peeled it off hoping for a sticker.

You might have to wait two years for this collection, but you can order Alex’s novel, White People on Vacation, now, in which case the wait is significantly shorter. malarkeybooks.com/store/wpov

reminder: Short Story, Long submissions are open ashortstorylong.substack.com

The table of very performative white people singing along to No Woman No Cry inside the bar might have been cringe comedians. Either way, it was an excellent bit.

Open Hawaiian shirt, Wampa tooth necklace, just pumping his fist and shouting, "Follow your dreams!" every time an X-Wing takes off

I actually liked Rotta the Hutt. I hope he shows up in later stuff as a big goofy party animal.

full guidelines for Barrelhouse NF subs below. We'll be open till 6/28 or 500 subs, whichever comes first

When Korean lady cuts my hair, she badmouths Vietnamese lady. When Vietnamese lady cuts my hair, she badmouths Korean lady. And this is why I dont correct anyone in that place when they think I'm Chinese.

We can say "We Built This City" isn't a good song, but why would we?

As we approach the publication day of Guillermo Stitch's THE COAST OF EVERYTHING on June 16, we've got a few more videos of authors from reading from it. Here's Jeff Chon, author of HASHTAG GOOD GUY WITH A GUN. Thanks, Jeff! https://youtube.com/shorts/nxXbKsyuxEw

Another favourite writer stepping in to support my book. Incredibly grateful to @jeffchon.bsky.social

I want Arsenal to win UCL

"Francine imagines all of them going back, waiting to be the first to help Eric take his helmet off, then his cleats, then his pants, until they stripped him into pure masculinity." 🏈 Find the newcomer Nova Grant's hilarious short story in The Bulb Region today. bulbregion.com/When-You-Nee...

Boys were acting out today, so I told their coach. Sat in bleachers and watched them run sprints. Raised my Coke as they ran past. Happy Friday.

This excerpt from Todd Grimson’s “See America” lays out scenes of prosaic devastation with a poet's gimlet eye, all with a background soundtrack of Cabaret Voltaire's prescient "Slammer." Grab 120 Murders, edited by @nmamatas.bsky.social, wherever books are sold. 🔗 links.ruadanbooks.com/120M

Doing Red Dead Redemption 2 replay. Mostly fishing, playing poker, and yelling, "Howdy, partner!" at everyone I walk past. Being a cowboy is pretty cool.

Dear English People: one of your brethren pulled up "Slender People" on his phone, and I didn't even know it was something missing in my life. So good work.

Look guys, I've seen those Frank Sinatra sailor musicals, and if Steve Rogers is from WWII-era Brooklyn, how come he doesn't talk all like, Aw gee, fellas. I just wanna go dancin' wit some goils!

Taking solace in Belgium no longer wearing the Tintin shirts, as that would've added a level of whimsy to this thrashing.

Matt Turner on his belly, pounding the dirt while, in this case, Jeremy Doku celebrates is just....

Weston McKennie, the great American

Blowing the lead was bad, but watching Brendan Donovan hitting that HR and then noticing he was wearing a thin blue line headband somehow felt...worse.

Kids all day were trying to explain how the substitute was supposedly rude to them, and all I could think was, Maaan, this guy sounds awesome....

I don't normally post amazon links but 120 Murders is discounted and there is only one left and a purchase will trigger a re-order: www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0DT...

The real problem with this generation of young men is they've never basked in the glory of Cal Worthington and his dog Spot. Also, many of them are Nazis with no game.

Been Youtubing old Big Time Wrestling eps from the 80s, and seeing all those commercials for Stihl chainsaws and local Portland businesses of the era really does make for an authentic experience. RIP Sam Kieth.

Okay. Just flipped to St. Pauli-Freiburg and saw the St. Pauli shirts. Now I want one even more.

This is the first time I became aware of Sam Kieth's art, and I remember it breaking my brain.

*Elon voice* "supplemental soy sauce"

Got a New Yorker subscription as a gift, and I consistently enjoy the articles and, yes, the cartoons. I seem to not get very excited about the thing people like me are supposed to...well, you know....

AC Milan is currently wearing the most stylish kit of the year. That year is 1984. Looking like something the Boogie Nights boys would've worn during the "You Got the Touch" era.

Introducing BULL #13: The Longjohns Issue, featuring a bunch of longer fiction from the past year. Get it now for the low low price of 6 lousy bucks: www.amazon.com/dp/B0GPX54CRQ

Thunder from a Clear Blue Sky is a dreamy, magical novel by @justinwriter.bsky.social and we have a handful of copies on hand and on sale for just $15. malarkeybooks.com/store/thunder

Happy Friday. It's snowing.

@justinwriter.bsky.social Judy Blume is your back three here.