you have earned one penis token

(Plucks the gem out of your forehead)

Expedition 33... now that's a game

Okay what if I did the dishes

big wad of stink a stinky wad if you must

probably the most important 10 minutes of audio recorded in the 21st century www.youtube.com/watch?v=42ke...

Horrific discovery which is that I look exactly like Matt Walsh

Accidentally ate tacos on Cinco de Mayo

Buddy you don't have object permanence? You don't know what you're missing

Having some chicken and rice

The amazing thing about posting is that it's completely free and anybody can do it. Even you

I had to do something really stupid today

BREAKING: US Politicians were buying tariff exempt companies before the news like $AAPL Apple. Take Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene. She bought $AAPL, $AMZN, $DELL, $NKE, and others before the surprise announcement today, buyjng the companies as they fell. Unusual.

new glitchless tech found that involves dying on a specific frame to underflow your z-position and respawn in heaven

In 2013 I signed an email with Stay Trill

Higher gas prices are good because it takes less time to pump 20 dollars worth

Skrillex vindicated as a visionary

I love this video so much. Stop whatever you're doing and watch it right now

everything i eat in a day as a 14 year old uncle

A peak into my mind

Last night was an eccojam

It's funny to return to the vaporwave I was devouring around 2013. Double nostalgia

Listening to songs that simulate CTE

Being cynical as a defense mechanism is so out

Plausible deniability for a fart requires at least 2 other people

I have so much money tied up in Webistics

I think everyone currently running things has a fucked up dick

I block people more than I like posts on here

50 hr season incoming

deactivated my x account. what's a guy gotta do to get groupchats on here

Deactivated X

Take this guys phone away

You will know me by my elmo pocket square and bolo tie

The news is so boring. What if we autotuned it...

Criminal trophy draft

things are constantly happening

Guy that talks a lot in groupchats but always uses "we" and "us" because he loves his wife

I have no skills or special attributes

What if ya mum run on batteries

02/15/22 I went cray on my kitchen wall

To all the haters: im going to the dentist and there's nothing you can do about it

kiryu sets a bad example for children but I like the suits he wears

was just unexpectedly let go from my job a month before moving home to take care of my mom with dementia lol. was told i was a good employee that was knowledgeable and had great work ethic. i’m at a complete loss and totally confused. if you want to, anything helps, cash.app/$waxmelancho...

CHAMPIONS

IM GONNA BUST

go birds

hear ye hear ye