sometimes i dont know who someone is but we’ve been mutuals for 20 years. and thats the strongest relationship in my life

why are they shoootng him 💔

forgot to attach the pic

oh that’s wrong… 😬😅 so why am i laughing 🙈 😂

on the freeway texting the cops to come arrest this drunk driver behind me

checking "hispanic/latino" on this form. how are they gonna fucking know

Its bandcamp Friday. If youre looking for some weird music please consider tossing me a few bucks today

my best friend is a 45 year old married man

the way you show your alcoholism on your IG stories is absolutely generational bro

i did not care for the new at the gates record. im sorry

Brian Says: if you ask me, Teslas should come with disabled placards by default

need her to bounce on my ping a ling like an infinite lives truck

im getting into opeth except for the albums people tell me are really gay

Hi, my name is, what? My name is, who? My name is, chka-chka Six Seven!

need her to bounce on my ping a ling like an infinite lives truck

six feet under is back, baby

Brian Says: if you ask me, Teslas should come with disabled placards by default

Dunk Into Interesting Dips

After I died I had my bones stripped of flesh and boiled and my skeleton mounted publicly in a fearsome pose by my pediatrician who ended up being my doctor for my whole life because I never went and found a regular adult doctor after I grew up because I didn’t feel like it!

I got to have a lovely 5-mile walk in the rain today which made me a Pleasant Pete. Let me know if anything made you a Pleasant Pete today. (New phrase I came up with)

americans see a paragraph and be like yeah... thats a fuckin burger...

Happy birthday to my wonderful gf

im setting new PRs by having done 5 minutes worth of work in 4 hours

i think gen z should go fuck itself and go to hell

spending $1300 on a pit ticket for slayer

a voice in the back of my head is telling me i should move to berkeley. and another one is telling me to get a CT scan

bot followers. bought followers. follow the money.....

Twin Peaks: Pete Martell.

COOP! BUNCH OF LITTLE VARMINTS, COOP. HEDGEHOG. ECHIDNA. BAT. THEY’VE GOT SHOES ON. IT’S UNCLEAR HOW ANY OF THEM CONTRIBUTE.

please god let me be free to buy Slayer tickets tomorrow at 9 am while i am teaching

my weird buddy came over and is trying to show us a powerpoint of how to do the ahegao face

i like the new scrubs i dont give a fuck about you

i've been imbued with great power!!! ahhhggghhhh!!!!

I can’t even fw you right now

Double Mrs. MILF vol. 02

Mars Volta ass lyric

taking my wife off my close friends story

I need a bitch to slurp on it like spaghetti

They’re “bravehearting” you ass in serf chat

they gonna hang draw and quarter you for this one bro 😂😂😂

Uhhh I was gonna upvote your first two sentences. Then your last sentence was a downvote. So it ended up being a net no vote.

Today, From the Sketch Wallet #art #sketch #ink #sketchwallet

thanks for the follow, but i dont need an escort home from the bar. you can go home now

im 45 years old and im listening to weezer blue album. and that's ok. please dont tell anyone

"Facism is the act of self-deception in service of making your own life more painful, solely for the payoff of making life more painful for people you dislike."

i'm avant-garde american