you would think that a wire brush would be great for exfoliating dead dry skin, but turns out that it is too strong

kinda starting to lose my shit when Chino hits those "WE RIDE"s during "Souvenir"

son said, getting dark outside

Tom Hangs

fleet afoot

"your honour, do you like my fake British accent, innit?"

casting a spell of eternal hemorrhoids on the designers of modern bus stop "benches" 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🔪🍑 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

if i ever shared a tiktok vid u know I'd trim the logo screen with the noise at the end jfc

if the statues are hollow (probably, sounds cheaper) I'm starting a business selling little wifi controlled fountains that vandals can mount into the necks of them maybe do an all-in-one that's like a metal drill bit wide enough to fit everything else thru and u just drive the whole thing in flush

it's got to feel so fucking amazing to be a rookie and score a touchdown off of a kick return

guy who has a date and says, "bros, im finna get some sit-by-me"

born to be silly but forced to play it straight

apparently doubling my caffeine intake was all I needed to do to rekindle my motivation? hm...

made nearly 5 kg of breakfast cereal (steel cut oats mixed with quinoa) to cover me for the next 6 weeks, all bulk bin ingredients for very cheap maxing out the pressure cooker capacity and freezing each weekly ration 💪

the devs said "hey let's hover a little modal over the ui after they send a post so they have to wait to hit the back button" cheers!

certain shit is of a various nature

just remembered that time I fucking killed it with my then buddies in the car when we are driving along listening to the Incubus Make Yourself (1999) CD when "Stellar" started to come on and I skipped it while saying, "aw do you love your girlfriend so much, buddy?" big laughs

you know they're lying about those boats they're blowing up in the Caribbean being drug vessels bc if they were the cia instead would be stealing that shit once it arrived to use it to leverage assets in other places (like they have always done)

if Luigi Mangione walks I bet at least one guy gets so mad about it that he drops dead as a consequence

when ppl post about stuff I know nothing about, it's so awesome when they write it so I can figure that out in the first 3-5 words and keep scrolling

this game running late as shit for west coast

"whadda ya some kinda PRE VERT"

santwidge

to the tune of The Village People - "Macho Man": poopoo peepee man i want to be a poopoopeepee man

no yeah actually my teeth handle cold stuff really well it's just the warm blood that starts pumping through them after they get really cold that feels strange and sometimes uncomfortable

I thought that doing a bunch of self-massage stuff to loosen my body up before I went to see my massage therapist again would permit them to get into deeper stuff that I wasn't capable of myself but instead they just loafed it because I was already superficially mostly relaxed

i wish all mosquitos a very fuck off and die!!!

*nods sagely*

serious fucking banger so far (ISBN: 031659203X)

she Bill on my Bel until i chick

I don't have a hard time with women criticizing men, when i picture the dipshits i grew up with that called me faggot bc i was good at reading or whatever it's pretty easy to vibe with it

what are those things called where it's like 2 tabs sticking out with a gap between like an interrupted level surface u can hang something from with it dangling between the gap? i need one

soft boiled eggs how to peel soft boiled eggs best way to peel peel soft boiled eggs no mistakes peel soft boiled eggs no suicidal ideation

my attention failing vs. following feed excluding some posts how does this superposition resolve??? still happening

NO don't use that butter knife for toast, that one is only for handling butter and must remain crumbless

has to be a slow day if I can see my own posts hitting back to back to back 😬

sometimes my left brain says, "idgi" but my right brain says, "lol" and I'm like ♥️

being a utc guy is the new learning esperanto

my cat is back on her bullshit (i.e. slowly stalking over to the corner of the backyard where a snake or something has taken up residence underground but somehow managed to get her attention, and once she gets over there sitting still and staring at the same spot for minutes on end)

if i saw wolf cubs in the forest i would touch their paws or make them touch their paws together

using the same plastic dish bin for years until the handles crack and break off of it

coarsely and poorly squeegeing residual egg yolk to the edge of my plate with a fork, and then lifting the plate up to my mouth and slurping mightily to get it all in there

guy who flosses 3-4 times a day but always forgets to brush his teeth

guy who flosses 3-4 times a day but always forgets to brush his teeth

pretty funny to warm up the quartz to take a dab only to realize when you start inhaling that you forgot to put water in the rig fyi the water isn't holding back any of the flavor, if you're wondering, just making it less coughy

fibbing about my height just enough on the dating app that I am NOT filtered out from the search results of the worst person I wind up meeting in my life

I've seen some ppl mention a certain kind of post deletion hygiene and doing it within a certain amount of time and I think that's an interesting prospect my posts I plan to mostly not delete unless I don't like them anymore; they're an important corpus of information to be preserved for posterity

I want to eat fried rice that has been folded up inside a sheet of banana leaf

2 more tonkatsu breaded in the fridge from a few nights ago, kinda nice i only need to heat oil and drop one for dinner leftover rice too, only need to shave cabbage