giving myself a courtesy like before bumping my old post

*T rex voice*

Easy-bake oven has a low THC tolerance

deauxnuts

When a Christmas song mentions the new year I think that’s really greedy

u will crater ur mattress this way keep sleeping on a side and rotate your mattress every 10,000 miles, i mean, 13 weeks to keep the wear even

meant to say "a couple of" instead of "a few" could've been my big breakthrough

hardest body to ditch is your own like, without dying obviously

homie coming through with the eggnog and you're like "hey it's Johnny Knoggsville!!"

observing trends in modern music production and saying, "the kids love ___" whatever it is

sucking on a few balls in my mouth

subsisting upon increasingly meager rations

made the bold step to open up a 10 yr old project and do the mix again and whew boy does it sound bad to my ears now if I can't make this sound good this time I'm selling all my gear

signed up for that "following over 10k" mutelist and that little bot that pumps ppl up for their posts caught a stray lol sorry lil guy, see ya later

when ppl joke about their cats being demonic or whatever idgi, skill issue

the pita recipe I've been using never said anything about the water temperature but I used warm water this time and lo and behold so much more yeast activity recipes all suck ass

New Year's resolution to stop listening to only one record at a time

UCI theme song synth lead melody

will someone tell me who Frank Gehry is? idk if I should be liking these posts or not

fantasy where im friends with dennis rodman and hang out with him and kim jong un while they're hooping and i keep saying that was "un"believable whenever kim jong un does something

prepped for fried rice dinner but weather isn't cooperating yet

turning my head at a post, like a confused dog

A racehorse with a weak stream pissing like a guy

just remembered the time an old ex's hippie dippy feather leather roommates out in The Sunset got some pet chickens and were careless enough to let them sleep in their cage indoors in the basement of the rental house where she was the only one who had a bedroom she literally got fleas from them

saw another pic of the transphobe Oklahoma student, she kinda has Charlie Kirk's gums

who wore it best?

mesopic vision

I do 20 podcasts because I love to hang out and talk with people I know, it has nothing to do with ad sponsorships or anything like that

dead fucking traitor Yasser Abu Shebab 🔻

Gaza’s most notorious organized crime leader Yasser Abu Shabab, who became internationally famous in the last year for robbing aid convoys using weapons and air support from the IDF, was reportedly killed in an ambush today. He died in the Israeli Soroka hospital.

beem emm double you

watching every episode of sponge bob for the first time at 45 to pick up on the joke posts I would otherwise feel fake liking

it's pretty funny how I rely on ratings for products to help guide my purchase when I never review anything unless it fucks up on me and then I have to give it one star

need to add msg to my pantry staples

I listened to Mitch Hedberg's "Strategic Grill Locations" so much my last year of uni that it actually changed the way I talked for a little while

Google sheet where I measure every time I get high 2025 wrapped

Your meme would be much funnier/cooler with alt text

Climbing to the highest branch in the tree and shrieking at the top of my lungs for birdpussy

annual banishing of the gutter muck rites

getting a vegan blowjob (not cumming in her mouth, no pre-cum)

it's that time of year I'm obliquely exposed to so much music I'm not familiar with that I don't know where to start with any of it and indecision paralyze myself into discovering none of it

“If it ain’t baroque, don’t f-“ -the guillotine makes swift work of my neck, ruining my final joke

fuck your substack

jazz musicians write a tune in an odd meter without having that number appear in the name of the tune challenge: impossible

henchmen firing automatic weapons in the engine room AGAIN 🤦‍♂️

Standing Nude https://www.wikiart.org/en/joan-miro/standing-nude