The God-Emperor of all narcissists getting in a twist over an uncooperative reflecting pool is too on-the-nose, even for the fucking hacks they’ve got writing the 21st century these days.

🔔London shows added🔔 I am doing five nights of my show CAN at Soho Theatre in London May 26th-30th. These will be my final shows of CAN. Last tickets are available here sohotheatre.com/events/rob-a...

engagement bait prompt: what's your favorite Onion article? I think mine has to be this one theonion.com/new-subway-p...

A short audio play about gift-giving youtu.be/2FaDIghAOLc?...

Hello 2026. Feeling very energised this morning by watching a Devo documentary and drinking 3 cups of coffee. Or possibly I having a heart attack

Still time to give the greatest festive Dickens adaptation (by @imaginaryadvice.bsky.social) a listen before the big day: www.soundcloud.com/ross-sutherl...

The fooking cops are fooking keen to fooking keep it fooking clean...

They should have titled them: Now You See Me Now 2 See Me Now 2 3 Me Now 2 3 4

New #audiofiction this coming Monday: the upsettingly named LEAKER (sorry). A 60min story, presented as a lost VHS horror film, complete with fake trailers. [Subscribe to Imaginary Advice via yr usual podcatcher of choice]

Just set all the fireworks off at once, ffs. Every display should last 60 seconds, max.

Its always nice when you're rooting in the bins behind ASDA and you find some perfectly edible bread with your birthday as the expiration date

Excited to introduce Vibes from Meta. Eat your slop, piggies!

My Patreon podcast UNTITLED HORROR SCREENPLAY has a bumper new episode today. I'm looking into The Living Dream: films in which dream-world & real world have become inextricably entangled There's a long discussion of Jacob's Ladder, then in the second half I pitch a new movie idea in the same genre

And on the subject of #realartatters: AI poisoning tool NIGHTSHADE is now free for artists to use: venturebeat.com/ai/nightshad...

A BALLAD A story written using only one vowel youtu.be/yb4_Bjn2uU8

PIZZA ORDER. A short drama. youtu.be/fKujvp0rwj4?...

October 26th! I'm teaching another zoom class for @radiobootcamp.bsky.social. Walking through the whole process of making longform audio. If you're interested in starting a career in podcasts, this is the place to learn a lot, quick. This class always sells out! radiobootcamp.org/classes/how-...

Maybe the real Ship of Theseus was the Ship of Theseus we made along the way

Hey! Our piece #souvenirs is being broadcast on BBC Radio 4 tomorrow, 22 July at 4pm UK time (also available on the internet for a while thereafter), I’d love for you to listen! Especially if you enjoy tales of hurt feelings & petty revenge.

New episode of Imaginary Advice out today! Another anthology episode: two stories and an essay. It was originally called SHIP OF THESEUS but I've rewritten this thing so many times who knows what to call it anymore 🤡 on.soundcloud.com/sf5qGCd7p4vC...

Predator is an almost-perfect film, failed only by the fact the predator never hunts by sampling/ replaying one of shane black's big pussy jokes

At the heart of what we do remains a belief in radio's imaginative possibilities - audio that can reconfigure the world around us & sink into our dreams. Dip into our archive of nearly 900 audio docs here www.fallingtree.co.uk/our-archive/

Those Final Destination films always get under my skin & I think it's because I live in a small badly made house crammed with terribly made products & I 100% believe the deregulation/ enshittification of capitalism will eventually cross a threshold & turn my home into a rube goldberg murder machine

BATTLE BAR FOR SALE Known for my skill when I rap on these tracks / You're over the Hill like you're Yakety Sax

I am available for hire and my rates are extremely reasonable

Out now on the Imaginary Advice podcast: the first half of THEY WILL / THEY WON'T, an audio-fiction series I wrote in collaboration with @joedunthorne.bsky.social Joe and I took turns writing chapters. Joe had to bring the two characters together. I had to break them apart youtu.be/ebbNSubXSOw?...

Baby, just born: waah waah New dads in 2007: I cant wait to show them the twist ending of Bioshock

Maybe I'm just having a tough morning with my toddler but Pingu is a tragic character & I think we all failed him

The Minecraft/Chicken Jockey thing is nothing new. In the UK in the 90s, we all went to see The English Patient & when Ralph Fiennes said "a thing is still a thing no matter what you place in front of it" we all jumped up & started beating the shit out of each other, braying like sex-mad donkeys

Pleased to announce my new #audiofiction miniseries THEY WILL / THEY WON'T is an official selection at Tribeca this year. Both parts will be hosted on my Imaginary Advice podcast. First part released May 12th. Then the concluding part comes out on Jun 9th, during the festival.

Is it a new podcast episode? Is it an experiment to determine the horrific effects of sleep deprivation upon the human brain? Yes. RULE OF THIRDS is out today: a collection of four short audio-fictions made by a man too tired to know how to end this sentence on.soundcloud.com/wkuad3BqDAdi...

For the past 4 months I've been developing horror film treatments for my Patreon-only podcast UNTITLED HORROR SCREENPLAY. Each treatment is loosely adapted from an existing one-location movie. For the next 30 days my Patreons can vote for which story I develop further... patreon.com/rossgsutherl...

Hello BlueSky. Just letting you know there's a new episode of Imaginary Advice out today. THE TUNNEL OF LOVE features a guest story from Tim Harding, plus a new story from me x soundcloud.com/ross-sutherl...

The goddamn self control required to not sarcastically yell "oooooh!" whenever a teenager rides past me doing a wheelie

So, The Gladiators reboot is now they have one nice gladiator & 15 Wolfs

The Generative AI Con

My documentary INFINITE SCROLL is being repeated on Radio 4 tonight at 11:30pm. It's a story about sleepless nights, phone addiction & falling into infinite space. Perfect listening for lying wide-eyed in bed, having a nervous breakdown. Enjoy! www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p...

I've been on a scifi kick this month. Possibly my favourite find so far is THE MAN IN MY HEAD: a British TV movie from 1971 (originally broadcast as part of BBC's Out of the Unknown series). archive.org/details/1-de...

CRANK IT IN THE PARK youtu.be/qIMEGdVL0gc?...

Cool cool glad to hear it

Don't call it a relapse: Imaginary Advice returns for 2025 with a new format. For the next few months, I'll be using the show to collect together lots of short pieces (flash fiction, sketches, disjecta membra). First of these anthologies out today... soundcloud.com/ross-sutherl...

Uh oh. New episode out Monday

Dammit I really need to stop mixing up my cat's name and my son's name before one of them gets smart enough to notice

Currently on my Patreon podcast, I'm taking famous films and reimagining them as horror movies. This month I took Alain Renais' new wave masterpiece LAST YEAR AT MARIENBAD & recycled it into a movie about being chased by cavemen on the London Underground www.imaginaryadvice.com/untitledhorr...

Theres a bit of one of my poems on the wall of Peterborough Lido. If Gary Oldman blows a guy's head off in front of it I will be an AppleTV subscriber for life

Just discovered you can get a free ride out of a Hello Kitty Rock'Em car by switching it off & on at the plug & I think this might be my supervillain origin story

Trying to explain to my 1yr old why we can't watch the Frog and Toad cartoon on Apple+ cos it's rendered in 48fps & "moves like ass". He's not getting it.