when the nintendo switch first came out, i asked a friend if i could taste a game cartridge and we took turns licking his least favourite game. and i think that’s what friendship is all about.

i’m not competitive. i just don’t like to die!

happy 14th birthday, sweet boy. 🐕 🍔

Would this make you feel better

i am very smart. like. verrrryyyy smart. but it’s also impressive how dumb i can be in contrast.

just me, a 14th century recipe, and my 100 year old rolling pin against the world.

damn girl how u type with them paws

this series, for sure… my best friend and i were tearing through these at like 14…

making wishes. 💫

only the coolest kids rave and cry at the same time. ✨ 🪩 🌈

I still like this older doodle of grown up Angel and Scamp I did 💙

the devil couldn’t reach me so he surrounded me with people who feel compelled to argue with me when i’m right all. the. time.

up early and doubling down.

the sharks are older than the trees. 🦈 🌳

finally at the age where friends are telling me they’re pregnant and i have to ask if we’re excited or if we’re going on vacation…

finally got burnt out on borderlands after a year. time to play halo: reach and cry so hard i throw up.

cookies with peppermint in them are a sin and should all be thrown in the trash. *with the exception of thin mints (from the freezer)

i haven’t worked my computer warehouse job in almost a year and a half and i still automatically boot into the bios half the time i turn on a machine.

i can’t wait until the holidays are over. let. me. out.

guess i’m gonna have to quit doin’ it for the bit

An Early Morning Snow at Waffle House outside of Cleveland, Ohio

i will never love anything in my life as much as i love this boy. i can’t believe he’s going to be 14 in a few days…

today was super mellow and i just got out of a lovely eucalyptus bath… now i’m explaining to a friend of mine how she could have been murdered today and linking her to weapons i have on me when i deliver pizza… and walking my little sister through how to check for cerebrospinal fluid over facetime.

one of the fun things about being a hater is when you’re talking to another hater and they make you realize you weren’t hating as thoroughly as you could have been.

eggcorn. 🥚 🌽

listening to my little sister’s boyfriend try to make her jealous about another girl they know makes me wanna beat the crap out of that 60yo man.

i have a decent handful of really nice fragrances, but i never get as many people complimenting how i smell as i do when i wear love spell from victoria’s secret. lol

if damien hirst has no haters, i am dead.

i wish i could buy a good sandwich instead of having to make a good sandwich. i want to live in a sandwich city.

crazy eyes AND trying to pull his bowl out of my hands.

bless bloody marys. 🫠

deviled eggs’ #1 fan:

i cannot be trusted near goat cheese.

if you search “food” in your iphone camera roll, it’ll include your pictures of fish and rocks too. 🐠 🪨

it’s so tragic that the OA was cancelled after two seasons… it’s such a good show.

marriage boyfriend pizza 1/3 🍕

i don’t agree with attachment theory. but i just had a wine-drunk MFT read me to filth. i think it’s time to go home lol.

sighhhhhh

feeling evil again today. 😈

when it’s nice outside, i always leave the window open so he can do a sniff.

bark for me

everyone in my house is sick. and they all cough like this… i feel ill just listening to them. 🤢

when they think they’re playing mental chess but i’m playing twister.

corn. 🌽 🐶

every day we wake up to new horrors, and yet my mother insists that i buy new clothes and get a haircut before thanksgiving with my maga family. 🫠

i am evil today. try again tomorrow.

lol. its gotten to the point where the stoner kids across the street stop and ask me if the aurora is happening when they see me walking around at night without my dog. love that for me.

i’m so happy for all my friends that got to see the aurora for the first time tonight 🥹