today i learned that the grunts in halo are 5’6” and they only look so small cause you’re a freakin’ spartan. lol. master chief. woof. 🐶

lmao poor yorick. they got his ass

some infinities are bigger than others.

why don’t horses use pillows? cause no one has ever offered them one.

i googled the timeline for grief today cause i was wondering when things would get easier. internet says the worst of it happens around 3-6 months. after the shock wears off. and to that i say: uh oh.

admit nothing. deny everything. make counteraccusations.

The Monterey Bay Aquarium PROUDly presents “Otter This World,” written and performed by Monét X Change with special guest Trinity the Tuck.

gross.

Holy fuck Bluesky HATEEEESSS video quality 😭, here is a still image

Everybody thinks 'https://' stands for 'hypertext transfer protocol secure' but it actually stands for 'head to this place, sucka' followed by a colon and two laser sounds

just got into a bonkers fight with my dad and my uncle who thought they could be angrier and scarier than me (in front of all of my uncle’s sons). now i think i’m going to go downtown to mingle with the fifas. lol.

legend has it that no one ever came to get her. some say that she’s still dancing like a stripper.

i was taking the world’s longest drunk pee when i warned another girl who came into the bathroom that the other toilet didn’t flush. we had a very long conversation through the stall wall. turns out that happens all the time. she owns the restaurant. and she made these signs:

la la youtu.be/Z_KD07PjB5s?...

playing fortnite with one military bro turns into playing fortnite with a bunch of military bros. then they’re all yelling clock directions at you when they’re all dead and you’re trying to knock two other teams to get their reboot cards…

Shut me up <3

yesterday i held my best friend as he fell into the forever dream. you were the best, blazey. i hope i was good enough.

just two puppies. all grown up.

15 years and he never really did grow into those ears.

always in my heart 🐇❤️

it’s funny how the times of my life where i’ve cried the most and the hardest, i’ve had people tell me that the rain is here because i’m so sad. but realistically, the saddest ive ever been has just always been during super el niños.

dear diary mood, apathetic

"time will see us realign"

Doggy-Dog World 🌈🌎🐾

⚡️ 🐛

Showing off the Arapaima I made! (Pattern also made by me) This was the test of the new pattern and I love her. 🎏💕

i love a little flower on a sip. 🌼 🍸

Fry versus laundry… 🧺

the 1 second mclaren pit stop is bonkers.

i hate the fake stutter that professional yappers do when they’re yapping professionally.

『 ANHEDONIC SALIENCE 🌧️🍃 』 ─ ✧˖°

gettin some good scritches

🌦️

my friend evelyn doesn’t really play games where you have to fight things/people. but she recently started playing repo and fortnite with me. i wound things for her and let her finish them off. or let her go after small things. i feel like an apex predator parent.

Don't lose your head 🌈✨

Hungry...

thank goodness they finally got the flat armadillo off of blaze’s potty sidewalk. now i don’t have to carry hotdog slices in my pocket to bribe him past it.

my son has caught on to the fact that when i get home, i space out in the car for 15 minutes before i go inside. now he goes and huffs at his grandmother to take him outside (and down to my car) so i will take him on his poop-walk and hurry up with his dinner.

[ The Kiss ] Alternative title: Trust exercises with your werewolf lover, lmao. Opening up this account with an old piece but I'm fond of it and since it's my icon for now that only seems fitting~ #AmongWolves

smoking the weed that turns you into a doggie 🐕

This is the most detailed 3D rendering of a eukaryotic cell to date, obtained using X-ray, nuclear magnetic resonance (NMR), and cryo-electron microscopy datasets. 🔬🧪

Surprise dragon smooch!

two of cheese burger for 30 of chicken nugget.

my life is one big loop.