Night time’s cool, because your brain screams at you over how you completely wasted your stupid life for a few hours, then you fall asleep.

Put (she/her) on my Zoom name. Cis lady put (she/her/hers). Had to change mine to (she/her/hers/herself) to assert dominance.

Sing "Ox and Ass", you cowards!

Blackmore's Night's version of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" removed the name Christ but changed nothing else. So now it's a religiously neutral song about whichever child in Bethlehem you think reconciled God with sinners.

Whenever i read about the cognition of evangelical faith spaces i remember they sing a sex song at gatherings because it has the word “Hallelujah” in it

Coen's Hallelujah is the most offensive instance of turning an unrelated song into a Christmas song, but Hard Candy Christmas is the funniest.

Ladies, be careful out in the meadow. This Parson Brown-looking snowman creep was hitting on me.

First year as a Planner Girlie in earnest. I'm hitting the point in the journal where I need a pencil board to write because it's too close to the back of the cover. Hitting that right when starting the December notes is a good feeling.

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The worst book club experience is when someone didn't read the book but still wants to participate in conversation based on what they imagine the book is saying from others' commentary. I end up recapping to make sure they have a "fair" understanding and conversation just dies.

Bringing some digestifs to Thanksgiving because I need something classy to balance that I'm also bringing gummy bears made out of wine

I finally started making tamales on Christmas instead of a turkey. Told guests if that breaks anyone's heart, someone else is welcome to make a turkey. Nobody has taken me up on it yet.

Wicked: For Good is infuriating. Giving Elphaba a song that's "The 1619 Project but for Oz" is a good idea for fleshing out act 2, but it's a dogshit song with stupid politics. Giving Glinda a song that's just Thank Goodness but even more on the nose is a terrible choice but I like the song a lot.

ATTENTION SPEEDRUN FANS‼️ I accidentally bought AGDQ tickets on the same day I'm supposed to get married & they cost me $2,000 (plane, registration, hotel, etc.) If anyone wants to go take my place for FREE it's going to be at the St. Marys church his name is John he's 5'10 super nice guy

Neat it says I can get HRT if I post feet pics every week for three months! That's a great deal!

Jesus to his disciples:

Tim Kaine APPALLED that after GOOD FAITH NEGOTIATIONS to pass the BIPARTISAN WALLET-INSPECTOR BILL that Republicans would-

it is almost as if accommodating and conceding to far right ideas legitimizes them and signals to voters that the far right is a legitimate choice for governance

OK but if emails take down Trump, and a blow job finally ruins Clinton, it definitely proves God is a really funny woman right

Does anyone get a physical magazine/paper delivered that they recommend? I get Wired and the Methodist's "Response", and am looking to add one or two more in my annual subscription shuffling. Long form articles or even short stories are something i want more of - i want to read good writing again.

“I’m a Grok guy” is the single most embarrassing phrase ever uttered in the course of human history.

Pokemon AGP version and Pokemon HSTS version

Buying a 100" green velvet couch has made every other part of decorating an enormous headache but it's so worth it.

Been like "okay, we gotta start cooking more dry goods and being responsible with food spending" So I made a lentil soup today and it's SO GOOD? Like I'm obsessed with this?

[at Tesla] Tesla Shareholders: in recognition of your incredible gift for lowering the price of tesla stock, we would like to award you this trillion dollar bonus Elon Musk: yeah yeah that'sa fine Tesla Shareholders: what's the matter? you seem distracted Musk: no i'm fine Musk: [muttering] oates

"Thank you for your email. I will be slow to respond today because last night I finished the Retsnom route of The 100 Line: Last Defense Academy and need space to think about it. Thank you for understanding."

ChatGPT getting the rules wrong has made Facebook Mahjong groups very funny.

I went to a gala yesterday that went from 5:00 - 9:00, had an open bar, but only did small plate finger food. Absolutely chaotic decision-making there.

I occasionally like to look at my five top emoji and read it like a tarot spread

Horror video game where you're at a party and trying to avoid someone who wants to show you a 12 minute video on their phone.

My rat Crystal Pepsi cosplaying as Freya Crescent from Final Fantasy IX. Happy Halloween! 🍁🐀🎃

Scariest part of the night was someone telling me they were planning voting Monday so I'm yelling over the music at Pitchers "EARLY VOTING ENDS TOMORROW, YOU HAVE TO VOTE TOMORROW OR WAIT UNTIL TUESDAY"

Caucasian Broadcasting Service

"Ah man I was totally gonna look into that but you know how it is, end of month reports and such, I'll get back to you"

If your sci-fi thing has a character named Eve I'm probably just not gonna read it tbh

My "we're explicitly not building SkyNet" mission statement has a lot of people asking questions that are answered by the mission statement

Of course Youngkin deadnames me on the $400 publicity stunt check

you mean to tell me there's a guy in Illinois running specifically on defending trans rights and his last name is "BLAHA"??? chat do you think he knows?

Skipping Katsucon next year because I can tell that, if I go one more time, I'm gonna get really into Touhou and I don't need that right now.

Obviously the next Dem president should tear down the ballroom but only after we hold our Nuremberg trials there.

Trans speedrunners be like "okay we got bad rng on the character creation but if we spam E repeatedly a chest will appear"

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my partner: "trump demolishing the ballroom without any regulatory oversight IS the abundance agenda. he is doing abundance. abundance king!"

Platner being confronted about the Nazi tattoo by his campaign manager

The amount of CPU capacity Partiful uses on desktop to animate the little blowy leaves is hilarious

Getting involved in politics and activism is constantly being asked if I can join a call or get downtown at 3:00 PM on a workday

I look forward to someone screening me to see if I have disqualifying online skeletons and has to read all my posts from the My Little Pony subreddit and my GameFAQs message board Digimon roleplaying.