Sorry I couldn’t think of any dick jokes for your birthday this year, Jesus

We have officially entered the void (December 25th to December 31st)

Can we at least all agree on one thing? Everything that's been made of Epstein & people he's associated with has been about everything but justice & healing for the survivors.

Sure you can invite more people to the plans we made two months ago. The more the merrier. Also I'm not going now

W.e O.nly.K.ill E.nemies. #woke

Funny how all the feminists are quiet about Bonnie Blue.

alright i got more beer lets fucking go

I already miss hating the summer heat

Stardate 120525: Eating beans. A.I. is invading social media with Orwell-like fear mongering. The real demons are still wandering in their mansions deciding whether or not to hide in their bunkers. Those that have compassion with all sentient beings are safe.

O.k.. Life sped up a bit. Wtf did I post on social media tonight?

Momma I hurt somebody tonight but no one died and the cops never came.

Some days I wish I played stupid since I was old enough to talk. Oh wait I'm on Bluesky..

The Bluesky babes won't even bring you leftover pie after Thanksgiving. They ain't loyal!

Over the river and through the woods to score all the drugs I can 🎶

"I got the crabs if you got the butter". *Me trying to flirt

If you have a man tell him I said stfu

It’s almost like when Fetterman discovered frothing at the mouth & cheering for genocide, he was like this is it for me, I found my calling.

What did the Sicangu Lakota man say when I.C.E. asked him what kinda indian he was? "I'm a pretty good one". 🤷

We should all get paid for being our own caregivers

I just want someone I can make out with while we listen to punk rock

Who keeps pushing snooze on the doomsday clock..

Congratulations Dad, it appears your lifelong theory about the world going to hell was dead-on

i think hooligan means something else overseas it seems racist im a hooligan over here but it just means i'll fucking fistfight you

I simply cannot WAIT to go to bed tonight and lie awake worrying about shit I can't control

Trust the vibes a person gives you and make no apologies for protecting your energy.

One thing about me is I’m slow to catch on but boy when I do we are gonna revisit the topic

...and in other news...nope, nope, no *fingers in ears* lalalalala

telling white america to wake up is like giving an energy drink to a dead person

Can’t believe it’s already October. Time flies when your life is falling apart

What’s it like not to be filled with simmering rage? I’ve forgotten

Might fuck around and drive into a tree today idk yet

I mean, cmon

wave your hand in front of the paper towel dispenser except it gives you pasta

I know you guys relied on me but I’m officially out of life hacks. Good luck, every man for himself

The only thing I fear more than the government shutting down is the government staying open

*is new to Bluesky.