Womp womp

I suppose the Phanatic is wearing some historic costume or something, but it looks like pajamas from the Vermont Country Store catalog.

This home run derby is just silly

The circle................ it's calling me.....

If you see a fairy ring In a field of grass, Very lightly step around, Tiptoe as you pass; Last night fairies frolicked there, And they're sleeping somewhere near

I just had to google "parts of a sleeve" because I couldn't grasp the word "cuff" from the swamp of my brain. TGIF

I've had Dean Martin singing That's Amore in my head for three days straight and I'm thisclose to homicidal

Hey guys look at my new evil schoolteacher glasses

I have a pinched nerve in my neck that hurts like an SOB and is fucking up my dominant arm and fingers and I’m trying not to be a huge whiny baby about it, but HOOOOO BOY I am being a huge whiny baby right now

Look at this grumpy little fucker my husband found

I just gave a fox a double cheeseburger

Woke up with this song in my head so I looked up the video & it made me laugh so hard I’m wheezing. The comments are all nostalgia but we MUST address the blatant thirst trap of the guy with the hair. At one point the camera pans to his crotch as he pops a squat & there’s a big ol’ hole in his jeans

I am SO glad Mamdani was mayor for this.

From NCAA national champions to NBA champions. 2016 to 2026.

I’m not watching the game but my entire feed is people saying “I’m going to puke”

sooo i guess my fuckwit neighbor is going to set off fireworks after 10pm every night this week?

Sitting in a doctors waiting room (I do that a lot with a 90yo dad) and a guy just told the ladies at the desk a harrowing story about choking on some broccolini and getting a tomato lodged in his nasal passage for 12 hours

I fear my strategy of giving all my folders passive-aggressive names is not achieving the desired result in my relentless fight against The Man

Did you ever get the feeling you were being watched?

Going to see the eye doctor tomorrow. I was supposed to go back three months after my last appointment and instead it’s been 11 YEARS and I am definitely going to get yelled at.

"A part of you is in love with life. By what irony I don't know, but I have evidently tried to kill just that part." Extraordinary, deeply introspective and sad (but still hopeful) letter from Arthur Miller to Marilyn Monroe towards the end of their marriage. entertainment.ha.com/itm/movie-tv...

PLAY THE FUCKING SONG

Again:

Beltane AND a full moon?

My love for Tyrese Maxey knows no bounds

This show was fantastic and beyond comprehensive and I tried not to be smug that so much of it came from the PMA, but I failed.

Whoooooooo!

My brain has been so pickled by social media that my only thought after reading this was "well, at least he spelled 'grisly' right"

This is so sinister. (Yes of course I bought it.) www.etsy.com/listing/1578...

(I will never pass up an opportunity to post this picture) post the best picture you have ever taken of your pet:

Sorry, the decline in clog-making’s my fault because I cut my hair off in December

Going to be a busy weekend, so I want to make sure to wish everyone a happy Easter - or as it's known in my house, Happy Motherfucking Shirtless Yul Brynner Day

LinkedIn just served me up this job as a “high experience match.” Look at the qualifications they want for an AI jockey:

Jesus christ, look at the state of him

I know Poshmark has 100% nailed my aesthetic with "eclectic grandpa" and "cabincore," but also: duh. I'm Gen X. Plaid is my neutral.

Going to see Josh Johnson at the Academy of Music in November, eeeeeeeeeeeeee!

There should be an Earth for people who don't hate all living things

supernatural

FUCK YES

Post a pic you took, no context, to bring some zen to the feed.

Turns out activating hyperfocus doesn’t work when you’re sick as a dog and now I’m regretting all of my life choices

Big Bird like the last Goblin Romanov

Was about to demand justice for scrofula, but now I see they’ve got The King’s Evil in there

Juncos are fucking adorable

I can’t adequately describe what a relief it is to check in here for the latest horror and instead find everyone talking about fruit.

A true Philly legend.

A rat literally just crossed my path; I'm choosing to see it as a good omen

Helluva way to find out Andrew and my mom have the same birthday

Never has being a super early riser in the US paid off so well.

My nephew got engaged this weekend. Excuse me while my human carapace crumbles into dust.