lol I have a 3 year old and you’ve got to be the biggest fucking idiot on earth to give one of those little psychos a weapon.

Oh so a lady can’t have hobbies?

Disney Adult Barbie is hilarious.

6 years ago I became a dad. What a fucking roller coaster.

Tomato Vasectomy

Day three of this shit. Sore throat is gone but let me know if you need any snot. I’ve not stopped producing it for the last 48 hours. So come on down to the moth snot emporium and I’ll fill ya up a jug.

2/ fnarr fnarr

The fact we haven’t heard the phrase “useless eaters” yet is somewhat remarkable.

they don't prepare you for how much food you're going to eat as a dad simply because you already paid for it and someone has to

will never understand the boomer generation’s obsession with not retiring. Hell i’d retire right now if i could

I woke up with a sore throat and I’m gonna be such a big baby about it

I make similar noises when my wife tells me I look cute.

Canada should start an asylum program for US citizens that aren’t dickheads.

Neat. Space travel is so god damn cool. We gotta stop building bombs and build fucking rockets man.

the GWOT also exists in the Bluey universe, implying the existence of both Osama bin Doggin and Saddog Hussein.

This is so good

Note that there's been no threat to sue over this statement. I know I would be suing for tens of millions if I was innocent.

This photo should be on the front page of every single newspaper in America today.

On one hand, neat. On the other hand, let’s stop making a world where people over 65 have any sort of grip on power and the future of humanity. You’ve done your work. Let the next generation have their shot at fixing your messes.

Hear me out. A publicly funded/guided mission to mars would bring about huge scientific breakthroughs that would benefit humanity greatly. The depths of knowledge we would reach by going to mars could help Earth in so many ways. That being said, fuck Elon and fuck private space missions.

PBS Kids turns out hits

Parenthood is magical

@coolzonemedia.bsky.social @whysophiewhy.bsky.social please get Benn on an episode of ICHH or Better Offline soon!

Weed is cancelled

Tell me you were in a ska band in high school without telling me you were in a ska band in high school.

Hometown hero

The Impossibles are playing Fest. Guess I’m heading to Gainesville this year.

My garage door spring popped this morning. That fucker is loud!

Do these people not realize you can hate two people that hate each other?

If matriarchy means I don’t have to mow the lawn anymore sign me the fuck up right now!

I meeeeeeeeean

Nooooooooooooooooooooo

Okay CTA. This is a good sign.

Found footage from the late 70s reveals earliest evidence that Jersey girls agreeing to wear their boyfriends’ away-team colors doesn’t mean they put up with their stupid fuckin’ bullshit

hell yeah we did it good work keeping your shit wrapped, snipped, pilled or [other] everyone

This is what watching literally anything with small children is like.

Kids have been awake since a little before 6am today. I also slept way past my alarm until about five minutes before that. I never appreciate solitude more than mornings like this.

Respectfully:

Having this mission happen while rewatching For All Mankind and right after PHM released is really making me sad that I went with geography instead of physics in college.

People who left Twitter for Bluesky think they’re doing activism by posting uselessly somewhere else. Whereas I am correctly doing nihilism

Pffffffft

the Artemis II crew just posted a new photo. what the fuck

It’s insane that we’re like 10 minutes away from the Apollo record being broken. God I hope this inspires a whole new generation of kids.

the NCAA women's tournament getting Red Panda and the NCAA men's tournament getting the Chainsmokers is a great example of how toxic masculinity harms men too

NASA isn't why the US doesn't have universal healthcare, or a social safety net. The US doesn't have those things because politicians with the power to provide them choose specifically not to (with varying levels of support from voters). Enthusiasm for human spaceflight doesn't drive that choice.

The mother fucking forest service? God damn these evil mother fuckers.

may this define her for the rest of her life. she was willing to stoop this low and still got fired. girl, bye.

Ain’t nothing more American than the absolute fear and panic you feel when you get the automated call that your kid’s school is lockdown and it takes 30 minutes to get an update that actually, “lol whoopsie there was a malfunction with the intercom system, there is no emergency.”