faking an assassination attempt so you don't have to go to a wedding sounds like a curb your enthusiasm episode

we have an oil spill and a chemical leak here in la county, at this rate the setup for the wc has been horrific for the states xD

your late 20s are genuinely hilarious because you start them feeling the dread of your "20s reaching an end" and then you end up realizing the whole concept of the 20s/30s distinction is meaningless and your 30s are a kind of freedom

BREAKING FIFA World Cup hotel cancellations are surging as global fans ditch the U.S. Main reasons are soaring costs, visa bonds, and Tr*mp’s dictatorial behavior.

EXPLAINING ANYTHING TO A CALIFORNIAN: okay imagine a ɹǝɓɹnqɯɐɥ

i feel like only people outside the states actually cherish conversation. Here, i think people only care about 'vibes' and 'sauce/clout" and that is horribly surface level af of building relationships

apr30

i’m convinced language was created so people could complain about stuff

you need potatoes on your pizza

it’s a rainy day on the mediterranean🌺🌸

Misato Teaches Typing mentioned

the way ppl will forget about this 2 days from now

At what age is it appropriate to tell a child that the federal government is working toward eradicating the type of person one of her mommies is

our family has 2 mommies and some people think a family can only be 1 mommy and 1 daddy, and they feel about it so strongly that they want to burn down the whole world rather than let some people be happy in a way they don’t approve of. And sometimes people yell at your mommies about it in public

yeah sometimes two boys kiss. Sometimes someone we thought was a boy decides she’s a girl. a bunch of rich strangers think your mommy needs to die because she thinks these things are fine

“how am i supposed to explain gay people to my kid” how am i supposed to explain homophobia to MY kid

It's awesome that radio stations are advertising their DJing as "guaranteed human," now do guaranteed local lmao

impatiently waiting while i continue to rip CDs...this is usually more satisfying when you get a new one and not redownloading a whole library 😅

Whoever remembers my Pikachu shelf: it is currently/temporarily my Pikachu closet. Whoever doesn’t remember….. welcome to my Pikachu closet

SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL IS GOING TO HAPPEN

gm

Remember when white men discovered that Mariah Carey's black? I have a prediction for you!

im like if a virgin has had sex before

All she did was prove that the meeting could have been a GIF

bought a dap and its kinda funny to relearn how to rip CDs and group folders in a clean organized effort

it’s a beautiful day :)

i'm gonna say it iiiiiiiiiii'm gonna say it (praise the sun)

Why do republicans always talk shit about cities but it’s a faux pas for democrats to talk shit about the rurals

i fully 100% support any afghanistani, iraqi or palestinian making fun of american culture

no sir i can’t do any of that stuff cause i’m trying to go to heaven

new conspiracy theory: Trump started the war to get out of going to his son's wedding

"we're out of new ideas and ai will help that!" we're actually not out of ideas we still need to implement UBI, solve interplanetary space travel, defeat climate change, figure out post-scarcity economics, find the secrets to aging there are SO many ideas that need more work, not more ideas!

Fresh new American dystopia headline just dropped www.thegamer.com/grammacracke...

personally I think anyone should be able to change their name for any reason ever and society should just adapt for that. you will not change my mind

Going to listen to 'Born to Run' and see if Bruce is a true runner like myself

live love leave

Do people mad about the odyssey casting know about bible characters being cast as vegetables

"We could confiscate 90% of your wealth and you would not experience a material change in your life."

Hasn't even been a year and Zohran's governance is having a massive impact on my family. Our daycare was able to open a 15-seat 3K program because of the 2,000 extra seats the admin funded. Everyone we know got in somewhere they wanted. This is gonna save us almost 50 grand.

okay unfortunately eva had some setbacks in the “jaw reconstruction” department and if you can chip in i would personally appreciate it

ah yes i can’t wait to get answers that are ai generated and far more intelligent than before

lrt// ll cool j having that mustache is crazily atrocious. guy looks so hispanic here in the most impersonating way ever

Fun fact: Deliver Us From Eva was the 2nd cinematic Taming of the Shrew adaption that Gabrielle Union was cast in— the first was 10 Things I Hate About You

Every ICE agent is the worst person to ever live www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/...

I bet if we use the tech that makes us stupid we'll think of some good stuff

when we overthrow the ruling class, the only event we’re keeping is the cannes film festival bc i like to see beautiful women in elegant dresses. we don’t need the met gala costume party.