You forgot lotr

Lend me 20 to 30 k to film a sitcom and I estimate I can earn nearly all your money back

I’ve decided that my new job is playing music for coin on my mandolin. One problem i suck.

Love how the pope just gets to vague post “some of you are making yourself opponents to gods justice” oooo I bet some cardinals are in trouble

walking past a sandwich shop, seeing a sign reading "mouthwatering 12" subs" and getting so hard i pass out

Dark souls text: girl, you’re unemployed!

We need drafts man. This kind of shit has got to stay in the chamber

Spire update: 12,11,11,11. I’m so smart for putting offering in lightning in a bottle. Genius

Spire update 11/11/11/11 complete. I slowed down because I’ve been playing quite badly

I think a lot of things are pretty stupid and uncool

Fish: So you evolved to walk around outside of water, that’s cool. So like no water at all? Oh you can go more than a few days without it? I guess that’s pretty neat. But you feel more comfortable drinking every few hours, huh. But too much water kills you? I think that’s interesting

My tragic flaw is that I’m high and smelly and unemployed and transexual

I’m quitting my job because they made the POS about 5-10% less usable on purpose to better serve self checkout workflow out customers.

ever since i was a little girl i've always wanted to exceed the damage cap of 9999 with my Critical Attacks...

nuremberg trials is no longer the moderate position. the scarecrow trials from the dark knight rises when bane takes control of gotham is now the moderate position

I would have really liked to see muppets knives out

woke 2 sends its regards

I think we should do the holy war against the thinking machines while they are in crib so to speak.

One us us should become a physician assistant and timber stamp 10 billion prescriptions for nothing. We could provide this service in a less extractive way

A Big Mac still costs three dollars it’s just that 15 dollars is worth three dollars now. CPI takes this into account, as you can see from my graph.I’ve depicted my line as going up and your line as going down. This is a sign of a good economy

I’ve finally invented the spire from the cautionary tale “do not try to slay the spire”. Time to slay it

He’s from the Atlantic, all he knows is rage bait and lie. You don’t have to engage with his stupid post. Stupidity is the point

i love how so many of the trans women i follow post exclusively like they are talking to other trans women and i’m out here on the sidelines like an anthropologist

What’s the longest poop you’ve ever taken. I just had a 40 incher

Anyone want to give me the skinny on the best way to learn magic?

Spire update: 11/10/10/10 Having one less potion is a pain in my ass, but also I have clearly grown as a player.

Breaking fallout four by getting your ma and da back together

puppy girl, pondering: hmm. this gives me paws.

Retail would be better if you could call customers “dipshit”

vegan breakfast sausage is good enough now that we should get rid of the regular stuff

A death threat from Patton Oswald needs to be taken very seriously considering ya know

Hats off to our beloved mods but it’s a crazy time in history to try to keep a death threat free social media site. Like read the room

My body is a machine that turns calories and water into extractable surplus value for my employer

Sheet music for mandolin or violin makes so much more sense to me than guitar sheet music

In these troubling times give me money

Republicans are like “maybe instead of snap you should get a job” and then also say stuff like “it should be illegal for companies to hire you”

Bro sports betting is legal

Did Jesus know about the germ theory of disease and antibiotics while he was alive?

Spire update: 10,10,10,10

ITS NOT ENTIRELY BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID ITS BECAUSE THEY ARE OWNED BY CAPITAL DO YOU THINK THESE PEOPLE KEEP GETTING OUTSMARTED BY DONALD FUCKING TRUMP WAKE UP

Representative democracy doesn’t work at all. It’s just a contest to see who gets to do legal insider trading for a while

Lucy promising Charlie Brown that she'll hold the football for him a couple months down the road in exchange for all of his hoes now.

I wish I had a job shoveling coal into a furnace. I would get so good at it

Funny prank: everyone becomes militantly communist very quickly

Cat broke my computer

Spire update 10,10,9,9

Spire update:9999 complete. As a look down on the steps from midway, I am met with renewed clarity on which to meditate the suffering of Christ.

Corporations should have to list a “guy who gets charged with crimes if the corporation does a crime” and it should have to be the person with the largest total compensation

Trickle down insider trading