Mamdani is going to implement SSHaria law. Communications will be end to end encrypted.

Y'all, the hospital where I had my surgery is running trials to see if GLP-1 medications can help people suffering from long COVID. It's open to any person with documented long COVID who lives in the US. Please pass it on!

Bestie measures the cost of things by the number of warriors tickets it costs

PERSIMMONSSSSS

The most divorced man shit I’ve ever seen.

Omg it’s sooo foggy at SFO. I’m actually surprised the flight was on time

I packed everything but forgot a hair tie. For a half marathon. This is fun.

your honor, every single crunchwrap is more supreme than this court

ok maybe I did need food but also to hang upside down on the monkey bars

I feel like shrimp cocktail and butter cake will get rid of this headache

I am convinced 👽 is trolling me at this point by giving me the more complicated cases

This is HUGE

we talk too much about the male loneliness crisis and not enough about the male suckerfication crisis maxread.substack.com/p/prediction...

Idk how to explain this but I feel like volleyball is a very Asian sport. Not mainstream Asian like tennis/golf/badminton but like low key Asian

My parents are so funny bc they’re like why are both of our kids obsessed with volleyball? We’ve never played volleyball and we’re not even athletic.

It's not my fault I'm genetically predisposed to chomp on a good bicep

Side quest for Krispy Kreme at 9 in the morning. Apparently, this one is inside an Amazon fresh?

i moved my flight to tomorrow but pls don’t do this to meeeeeeeeee

No healthcare. No food aid. No air travel. Billionaires need their handouts more.

between this, the food recalls, and the planes, i feel like the world is falling apart

“You’re so bite-y” Idk what to tell you. Don’t have such biteable arms then

My little brother and his gf is looking at wedding dates for next year and can’t seem to pick a month. Like bro you’re on another continent, we’re going to need to know at least the month soon, if not the actual date

cone of shame vs cone of delight

Do I want to do Brazil or Hawaii/Korea/Japan for the holidays

This recycled tweet still cracks me up 🤣

NGL, literally being picked up in the air is the best feeling

"My kids know me as this ape"

I should learn Russian lol

Growing concerned that Boo Boo might be the world's most photogenic kitten.

i can't believe i went a whole day without my phone

why did i just agree to dye this dude's hair green?

my love language is food

If sandwich shops don’t start offering a sandwich named “the acquittal” then what are we even doing

i had butter cake again last night. at this rate, i'm going to be broke bc of butter cake

My president is black and my lambo is blue

At 11:59:59 PM, you know you’re filing the one that says FINAL FOR FILING

HEY. HEY YOU GUYS. IT'S AN ACADEMIC PAPER ON RANSOMWARE BY A GUY NAMED CONTI.

Mamdani walked off to Dhoom Machale or that’s what the group chat is saying. Iconic.

I knew it would take less than a day for a tiktok dj to make something.

His speech was fantastic youtu.be/_w515MNBH3k?...

Prop 50 was the only thing on the ballot in Orange County as well. And as of now, Orange County—a former Republican stronghold—is Yes +14.

“I wish Andrew Cuomo only the best in private life”

Marine Layer does individual customization stuff now without the 25 piece min. I’m about to become a menace.

I think we all miss the Obama days. It is really reminiscent of that bc there’s hope in the air—a bit jaded, but still hope.

Let’s goooooooooo

🥺

I really needed to get my roots done but I’m regretting not going to Chicago bc I could’ve been running around the city, visiting my old fave places and going ice skating

I love running around at night with the crisp fall air. I feel so aliveeeeee

“He doesn’t have a mandate” are you fucking kidding? Dick Cheney died the day Zohran is elected he has the mandate of HEAVEN