My next sweet tooth project is pumpkin spice peanut butter cups

What’s up with the obsession with autism

Play "I have one daughter" in your head, and imagine this conversation: Opposing Counsel: But why isn't this in arb. if you don't mind me asking. Me: You're the plaintiff. You tell me. OC: Is it outside the scope of the agreement? Me: You're the plaintiff. (Ellipses).

Fisher update: The ASPCA vet began her call today by saying "I LOVE HIM" and said he's feeling well enough to bother everyone for attention. Just got these photos.

It’s a bit terrifying that I have enough points at Paris Baguette for a free full-size cake

This rapture has been disappointing all around.

Zoomers don’t know how to edit headers/footnotes/margins on word. They also don’t seem to know how to use Adobe for basic PDF stuff. This is concerning.

Here is a list of libraries by state/maj city: librarytechnology.org/libraries/us...

Here’s a directory for all public libraries in California: www.library.ca.gov/services/to-...

You can borrow e-books and audio books with your library card. Go to your local library and sign up for a library card!!

Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor was a fascinating read (listen). I was doing breath work before but I didn’t fully realize how important it is and just the history of it.

The Nextdoor app is a cesspool of karens but it also has its gems. My neighborhood has a private fruit sharing group and it’s fantastic.

not going to worry about the rapture unless Waffle House closes

Please remember not to post your Rapture spoilers. Some of us live on the west coast and want to be surprised.

I’ve realized the key to surviving these times without going insane is a reliable way to get my zoomies/rage out and ice cream.

A pop up box on Tylenol dot com

Is it weird to ask someone to pace you during a reg run (not a race)? I think I can hit a certain time for my mile and 5K if I’m running with/slightly behind someone who’s going at the pace I need.

It would be better for my cortisol levels if I could tell one person a day that they’re being fucking stupid, like to their face and without any consequences.

DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY INDEPENDENT THOUGHT?? IS THERE ANY PART OF YOU THAT READS THE COMMENTS AND IS LIKE OH, MAYBE I SHOULD DO THE SIMILAR THING IN OTHER APPLICABLE SCENARIOS OMFG WHY ARE PEOPLE LIKE THIS

Oh no please no.

dudes rock

Last time, we got Britney Spear’s Till the World Ends and Jay Sean’s 2012. We need more lead time for people to make end of the world bops.

New rule: whenever you predict the end of the world/the rapture, you need to give the rest of us enough time so people can release some on theme bops

To a non-believer (me), aliens, Christian god with the rapture, and Theranos all sound the same tbh

When you’re raptured up you’re NAKED??? Imagine this happens and you’re left behind because midway up god finds your live laugh laugh under titty tattoo and your parents just keep going higher into the sky but fucking screaming at you the the entire time about how you ruined their rapture moment.

Being retired before 40 is such a flex. And god, if you’re listening…

Chicken nuggets with dill honey mustard, apple slices, and a diet coke aka basically a kids’ meal really hits the spot

For more than a year I’ve spoken with Scattered Spider “caller” Noah Urban from a Florida jail. I wanted to know how they chose victims, their methods and how Noah became entangled in a virtually and physically violent world. We’re publishing his story today: www.bloomberg.com/news/feature...

It is also Libra season

FINALLY SOME GOOD NEWS IT’S FAT BEAR WEEK

In honor of fat bear week, I too will be eating like a fat bear

The University Democrats at UT-Austin, a longstanding student group, has been told that no guests, candidates, or speakers can speak at their meetings unless the administration approves them. Submitted speakers' lists have been ignored or summarily denied. Please HMU if you know a good 1A attorney

I would like a job naming prescription drugs bc what the hell kind of name is neffy

If I could have a personal mascot, it would be this pig wearing a chicken I found on the clock app.

New rule: whenever you predict the end of the world/the rapture, you need to give the rest of us enough time so people can release some on theme bops

So we're looking at a gambling ad every commercial break in the NFL now?

It’s gloomy af today so I think it’s time to make french onion soup

I learned my parents have a jujube tree today and now I have a gallon bag of jujubes, which is insane bc I love these but they’re kinda hard to find

This guy literally flew with just a paper bag of food—like from take out. I think he went up to SF to pick up food and came right back down.

These memos are totally normal reactions to totally normal policymaking that's definitely and totally what non-autocratic governments do. www.theverge.com/news/782258/...

Someone was trying to take a portrait of their two fave Chickens, and this happened.

NGL, I didn’t realize people still bribed people with cash in paper bags

I think the haagen dazs bars have become the victim of shrinkflation

I got to ring the bell at the John Muir house

EFF's legal internship gives law students the chance to work on groundbreaking tech law cases. Ready to make an impact? Apply now! www.eff.org/about/oppor...

I found COWS

I’m only here for the massive picnic at the end

My parents broke out their hiking sticks. I’m scared

parents’ neighbor has a raccoon family living in their garage and PLEASE LOOK AT THESE BABIES