I know we joke about road workers being on meth, but my orange vested brothers why are you setting up cones and traffic lights in a residential area for an hour at 4am? This happening anywhere else in #wellington ?

So Judith Collins retired and David Farrar really panicked and said “We must submit to Australia to survive!

ICE never would have tried this s**t in Minneapolis if Prince was still with us.

It’s almost as though Canterbury Rugby culture doesn’t translate to the international game… 🤷🏽‍♂️

FFS. ICE is targeting Native Americans!

I don’t know who he is, but when he said “You heard it from me” I realised this is Minnesota 2Pac: FurPac “A bunch of bitches if I’ve ever seen a bunch. And I’m telling you to your face, and if you don’t like it, fuck you.”

Your country may win gold at the US Olympics… but it ain’t keeping it #LA2028 #yourwinisathreat

A spokesperson for FIFA has confirmed the US is only serious about invading countries that didn’t make it to the World Cup.

"They got money for wars, but can't feed the poor" - Tupac Shakur 1993

They can't even wait a day... www.wsj.com/livecoverage...

You just know that Team America: World Police sequel is being cooked up.

Who knew Trump missed the 80’s THIS much?

Start your year the way you intend to keep going… www.thepost.co.nz/nz-news/3609...

There are few things as satisfying to Kiwi ears than hearing english tourists complain about how nothings open on a public holiday. Oh you came all this way and can’t find a pub for a pint? How sad for you my friends. How very very saaaaaddddd.

If you attack a foreign nation on Christmas, does FIFA take away your sham peace prize?

Well I have not been called “Bunga” in a lonnnnggg time. On the bright side I am apparently very funny for one. What a surreal way to end the year for gigs 🤦🏽‍♂️ Such times, New Zealand

The most embarassing part of the Jake Paul fight is definitely that horrific attempt at a pacific sleeve on his arm

How did a far-right politician who admires the Pinochet dictatorship get elected president of Chile? It was partly because the country's center-left "turned its back on the troubles of the people," says Chilean American author Ariel Dorfman.

Rob Reiner did lots of cool projects, showing up in cameos between directing great films. But mannn… he did Princess Bride. You don’t even how much of pop culture walks on that films shoulders. That’s all you need to know. RIP

“Have you seen the latest poll?” For the New Zealand election? The 2026 New Zealand election? The 2026 second half of the year New Zealand election? Those aren’t polls, they’re pre-xmas report cards. I give them slightly less weight than the NBA championship predictions.

I feel like people have forgotten that 50Cent is Eminems best friend and that all his petty moves are basically the plot to an early 2000’s Em music vid.

What I enjoy about Auckland night bus drivers is their commitment to hitting the speed bumps at speed. It just makes every road an airborne adventure.

Looking forward to the emergency call from Anthony Albanese to the Socceroos coach begging them to let USA win.

At this point Weed is showing up to smoke Joe Rogan..

My Spotify reading age is “old enough to know Spotify screws artists and supports anti-immigrant policies”. Start your New Year with a better app.

Thou shalt not pretend that you're at war with drug traffickers while pardoning drug traffickers.

If you’re a pacific islander and you’re in Destiny Church and protesting immigration… What in the history of our people are you f****n doing?

I don’t mean this as shade, coz it’s genuinely weird, but the strangest thing about performing in Christchurch is… there’s no Pacific people in the CBD

So Chris Bishop really hasn’t coped with Ken Laban becoming Mayor of Lower Hutt… www.rnz.co.nz/news/politic...

I’m sure someone in the U.N will have an explanation for why it’s not important to have a COP in the Pacific.. I mean what could possibly happen in Türkiye over the next year to make a massive international conference a logistics nightmare?

I don’t think people realise how close Samoa just came to a national crisis.. www.bbc.com/sport/rugby-...

Me: You grow up here? Barber: Out in the Hutt; St Bernard’s College. Me: Oh snap. I was at SBC - what year? Barber: 2022 Me *realising I graduated in 2000

I’m doing a small tour of small venues in New Zealand at the end of the month, and if you want a big show on NZ Politica, you should grab a ticket and come down…

Lady with a microphone, a speaker, and stories of personal trauma, standing outside the law school, yelling at Luxon in the Beehive about mental health. “Mr Luxon you piece of s**t!” Wellingtonians walking past with sushi and headphones. Not a cop to be seen. Don’t lose that, NZ

At this rate they’re gonna have to change the official animal of the U.S from the bald eagle to this guy:

I think, in hindsight, we all knew things had turned against Samoa when the stadium announcer had the crowd singing “If you’re happy and you know it…” #toasamoa

“Simi! Sasagi! For Samoa! Sennnsational!” The commentators really matching the quality of the game. What a difference correct pronunciation makes to the experience. #toasamoa

Come on RNZ - a 5 doesn’t hit Wellington, it passes through… nothing below a 6 come close to a whack www.rnz.co.nz/news/nationa...

Come on RNZ - a 5 doesn’t hit Wellington, it passes through… nothing below a 6 come close to a whack www.rnz.co.nz/news/nationa...

Always fun when you hear the earthquake before you feel it..

My favourite part of Mamdani’s speech was where threw back his head and yelled “IT HAS BEGUN!” before the DJ blasted the Mortal Kombat theme and ninjas jumped onto the stage and began breakdancing

Fireworks, High Winds, and an intense amount of Flags.. what could go wrong?

Finally, some good news.

Like many Chicago Bulls life-long fans… I too have no idea what to do with a 5-0 start to the @nba.com season. The excitement to dread ratio is palpable.

This Halloween, New Zealand dressed up as the Pacific Sea Nettle: Packs a powerful sting for its size, is comfortably found near the U.S, and is of course totally spineless.

It’s really telling about the UK that a song where a person enjoys being called wonderful and begs for conversation is the feel good hit of the year Banger of a tune though

Nooooooooooooooooo

I have never ever seen a Comedy Festival - or any Festival - where the acts have had to do a post-fest press tour back announcing donations of part of their fees to charities because of how bad the organisers were.

Man that orange guy wanted the Nobel Peace Prize so badly.. and they gave it to someone from the country he’s trying to start a war with. Tou-damn-ché

Glad we can finally get this story out. Ever hear about the monkeys in Palau? I went and investigated how they got there and what it has to do with Germans, the American Military, and phosphate mining… www.abc.net.au/pacific/prog...