Doesn’t matter what Jesus looked like when he went into the tomb, this is how Samoans believe he looked when he came out…

Am i glad she's gone? YES. Is it hard to watch her leave without any consequences for the cruelty she rained down and seamlessly transition into what will probably be a really nice life? Also yes. The way these high-achievers play at public service breaks my heart. www.rnz.co.nz/news/politic...

Amazing that Wild Horse Nine can be set on Rapa Nui and not show a single person that looks indigenous in the trailer. Truly capturing the spirit of the 70’s

What if you banned politicians from ever taking a position with any company that benefitted from legislation passed by a Government they’re part of. Difficult legislation to draft, but remove that retirement option and see how lobbyists react…

Okay but is anyone ever gonna ask Nicola Willis “Where in South Auckland?” Like if you’re gonna have a specific example, be specific.

James Patterson’s favorite predictions podcast! It’s @thegargle.bsky.social w/ Olympic Parenting Gold medalist @alicefraser.bsky.social, @Fonzi fashion fan @jackiekashian.bsky.social & pasty, harem-pant wearing @jamesnokise.bsky.social ! Taste the Respect! shows.acast.com/8d72ef0d-c0b...

Obviously with the naming of the All Blacks Coach, New Zealand is now ready to participate in any military conflict it may be called upon to.

New Zealand News in a nutshell

New Zealand really talking about Jacinda Ardern like an ex who hasn’t let go. Bro she left and she aint coming back.

Quick reminder that The Dawn Raids only targeted brown people at a time when our largest group of overstayers came from England.

The thing about the Government moving people on from sleeping rough in New Zealand town centres… is that many of the towns only have a town centre. It’s not a country of massive cities.. it’s a country of a couple of urban blocks and then a bunch village shops strung together.

You can tell the PM wasn’t in the capital last night. Coz no way he stayed in Thorndon and then woke up thinking “what people need is some positive Rugby League news”

7m swells in the ocean, sewage flowing into it, and not a single news outlet using the word “Poonami”… Disappointing

I know we joke about road workers being on meth, but my orange vested brothers why are you setting up cones and traffic lights in a residential area for an hour at 4am? This happening anywhere else in #wellington ?

So Judith Collins retired and David Farrar really panicked and said “We must submit to Australia to survive!

ICE never would have tried this s**t in Minneapolis if Prince was still with us.

It’s almost as though Canterbury Rugby culture doesn’t translate to the international game… 🤷🏽‍♂️

FFS. ICE is targeting Native Americans!

I don’t know who he is, but when he said “You heard it from me” I realised this is Minnesota 2Pac: FurPac “A bunch of bitches if I’ve ever seen a bunch. And I’m telling you to your face, and if you don’t like it, fuck you.”

Your country may win gold at the US Olympics… but it ain’t keeping it #LA2028 #yourwinisathreat

A spokesperson for FIFA has confirmed the US is only serious about invading countries that didn’t make it to the World Cup.

"They got money for wars, but can't feed the poor" - Tupac Shakur 1993

They can't even wait a day... www.wsj.com/livecoverage...

You just know that Team America: World Police sequel is being cooked up.

Who knew Trump missed the 80’s THIS much?

Start your year the way you intend to keep going… www.thepost.co.nz/nz-news/3609...

There are few things as satisfying to Kiwi ears than hearing english tourists complain about how nothings open on a public holiday. Oh you came all this way and can’t find a pub for a pint? How sad for you my friends. How very very saaaaaddddd.

If you attack a foreign nation on Christmas, does FIFA take away your sham peace prize?

Well I have not been called “Bunga” in a lonnnnggg time. On the bright side I am apparently very funny for one. What a surreal way to end the year for gigs 🤦🏽‍♂️ Such times, New Zealand

The most embarassing part of the Jake Paul fight is definitely that horrific attempt at a pacific sleeve on his arm

How did a far-right politician who admires the Pinochet dictatorship get elected president of Chile? It was partly because the country's center-left "turned its back on the troubles of the people," says Chilean American author Ariel Dorfman.

Rob Reiner did lots of cool projects, showing up in cameos between directing great films. But mannn… he did Princess Bride. You don’t even how much of pop culture walks on that films shoulders. That’s all you need to know. RIP

“Have you seen the latest poll?” For the New Zealand election? The 2026 New Zealand election? The 2026 second half of the year New Zealand election? Those aren’t polls, they’re pre-xmas report cards. I give them slightly less weight than the NBA championship predictions.

I feel like people have forgotten that 50Cent is Eminems best friend and that all his petty moves are basically the plot to an early 2000’s Em music vid.

What I enjoy about Auckland night bus drivers is their commitment to hitting the speed bumps at speed. It just makes every road an airborne adventure.

Looking forward to the emergency call from Anthony Albanese to the Socceroos coach begging them to let USA win.

At this point Weed is showing up to smoke Joe Rogan..

My Spotify reading age is “old enough to know Spotify screws artists and supports anti-immigrant policies”. Start your New Year with a better app.

Thou shalt not pretend that you're at war with drug traffickers while pardoning drug traffickers.

If you’re a pacific islander and you’re in Destiny Church and protesting immigration… What in the history of our people are you f****n doing?

I don’t mean this as shade, coz it’s genuinely weird, but the strangest thing about performing in Christchurch is… there’s no Pacific people in the CBD

So Chris Bishop really hasn’t coped with Ken Laban becoming Mayor of Lower Hutt… www.rnz.co.nz/news/politic...

I’m sure someone in the U.N will have an explanation for why it’s not important to have a COP in the Pacific.. I mean what could possibly happen in Türkiye over the next year to make a massive international conference a logistics nightmare?

I don’t think people realise how close Samoa just came to a national crisis.. www.bbc.com/sport/rugby-...

Me: You grow up here? Barber: Out in the Hutt; St Bernard’s College. Me: Oh snap. I was at SBC - what year? Barber: 2022 Me *realising I graduated in 2000

I’m doing a small tour of small venues in New Zealand at the end of the month, and if you want a big show on NZ Politica, you should grab a ticket and come down…

Lady with a microphone, a speaker, and stories of personal trauma, standing outside the law school, yelling at Luxon in the Beehive about mental health. “Mr Luxon you piece of s**t!” Wellingtonians walking past with sushi and headphones. Not a cop to be seen. Don’t lose that, NZ

At this rate they’re gonna have to change the official animal of the U.S from the bald eagle to this guy:

I think, in hindsight, we all knew things had turned against Samoa when the stadium announcer had the crowd singing “If you’re happy and you know it…” #toasamoa