Merry Christmas dummies

Deleting the apps to meet someone the old fashioned way: following them out of a club to clumsily hit on them, saying I need headshots in order to get their business card (and phone number), then talking them into going on a road trip to collect the ashes of their father who died that morning

Friends fear she's watching Alexandra Swarens movies (and not one of the seasonal ones) by herself at half eleven at night on Christmas Eve

My go-to nail polish colour remains OPI's (now discontinued) Chick Flick Cherry, the name of which my head still fails to parse properly, instead taking Chick Flick as Flick Knife, like it's named after some bad ass biker girl from a 1950s movie about rebellious teenagers in the US

Can we talk about Silent Night, Bloody Night being a long-lost Christmas horror classic as 1) no ever mentions it in the first place, and 2) it's great (like, original Black Christmas levels of good) youtu.be/-4LUDCdErUc?...

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (Tobe Hooper, 1974)

Despite having bought a fair number of new albums this year, I feel like there's been too many that I've not spent enough time with after buying them, leaving me in a "I know this is really good, but is it a fave of the year or not" situation with quite a lot of them

And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, but rather became the best of both worlds. The fastest reflexes modern technology has to offer, onboard computer-assisted memory, and a lifetime of on-the-street law enforcement programming

How I'm turning up to the Bsky Christmas do

Hairy Bikers Christmas Special on in the background, and they just described canapés as a one-handed party wonder, in case anyone were looking for a seasonal euphemism

Getting negged by giffgaff for having used data mostly during the day and not at night. Yeah, thanks for pointing out that I've not slept in anyone else's bed this year

New drink invented: Crabsinthe

Not that I'm saying covid has left me with no energy (covid has left me with no energy) but, having done nothing more strenuous than get the train to my parents yesterday (and sleeping for seven hours the night before), I just slept for over 13 hours

Feel like next year I need to lean further into my final (lesbian) form. Like, I can be a better version of what I already am

Oh Spurs

Finally tested negative

Rewatched City Of Trees this evening, and Alexandra Swarens' career choice of writing, directing and starring in a succession of seasonal lesbian romcoms in which her character gets together with a beautiful woman is looking like a pretty smart move

Every gallery and museum that sells Guerilla Girls mechandise in their shop should be obliged to publish regularly-updated statistics of the gender split of the artists on display at that gallery/museum. (and that needs to distinguish between standing collections and limited time exhibitions)

"Average penis costs $150,000" factoid actually just statistical error. Average penis costs $0 per year. Penis Georg, who lives in a cave and pays for over 10,000 penises a day, is an outlier and should not have been counted

If I were to walk to the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston Well, first I'd go to the room where they keep the Cézanne

STILL testing positive, and now in definite danger of having to cancel tomorrow's plans as well (and tomorrow was going to be the nearest I was going to have to queer Christmas anything; exhibitions with a queer female friend, followed by a SE Sapphics event) and I'm bummed about it in advance

Alison Bailey told me pro-trans lawyers keep eating her legal fees so I asked her how much money she has and she said she just goes to JK Rowling afterwards so I said it sound's like she's just feeding money to trans lawyers and now Helen Joyce is crying.

In a change from a normal course of things, I just had to rescue a mouse from a mouse trap It had two of its legs trapped, but nothing else, and had managed to flip the trap on its end and was standing there looking up at me and, the horror of the situation aside, it was so damn cute

Watching The Holiday Club and sorry girl, but if your lesbian crush literally owns the bakery next to the building you live in then if, a month after first meeting her AND that meeting being friendly, you still haven't made friends with her, you're not even trying

Thought I'd found a reindeer hair in the bathroom, and that's not covid making me seasonally delirious. I went to this last week and got got reindeer all my coat from sitting in one of the listening areas for a bit www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tat...

Urgh. Still positive. It is, at least, a fainter positive line this time so hopefully the end is nigh (or I just didn't do as good a job of sticking the thingy up my nose this time)

I got a letter from the GIC the other day I opened and read it It said they'd banned puberty blockers

Is she hot, or is she just on the England national netball team*? *tall

I'm basically stuck in my room until I test negative (so as to reduce the chances of giving it to my housemates) so more Lego then?

Still testing positive

@ewacat.bsky.social I just clocked your Christmas name and

Finished watching season 2 this evening, and pleased to report that the natural order has been restored

News just just in: given that I have the contagious lurgee so can no longer attend a screening of it this evening, Die Hard is now officially not a Christmas movie

The Spider-Man meme, only it's a bunch of dapper gentlemen pointing cameras at each other while defying death up a partially-built skyscraper

Pint-sized, in relation to a person: tiny. Pint-sized, when used in relation to a toad should mean fricking enormous But look at this cool lil' orange toad

@annascottpiano.bsky.social Having to think back five years, but I'm pretty sure you were about the only other person I knew who was watching it... there's a new season of Home For Christmas on netflix!

I feel like I may regret having started this last night

Oh Spurs

*looks at all black outfit* All apparel is gay apparel if you're gay enough

Just tested positive lads

Where would you buy a nice cosmetics bag as a present (no, that's not an imaginative present, but my parents want for nothing usually and my mum speciically said "my large toiletries bag is getting tatty; how about you get me a new one")? Not the usual places; somewhere no one else would think of?

Having now seen Thunderbolts, new Fantastic Four, and new Superman, I can safely say that the best superhero movie I've watched this year was Madame Web

All the "aren't they all Masons" jokes in the replies, yet the Freemasons probably has a more exacting requirement of its members to be of good stature than the Met police does

Just saw the late 1980s and early 1990s described as "the proto- Britpop era" and I think my soul just died

Petition for Tate membership perks to include updates on which rooms in their standing exhibitions have been changed, so you know where the new stuff that you've not yet seen is hiding

The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)

You will be visited by three spirits

The Peggie reporting really does show that 1) the media is inherently transphobic and 2) they really will take the contents of press releases issued by anti-trans organisations as factual, despite the spin having been revealed again and again, eh

Now I hear there is some holy juice That St. Nick leaks, for our festive use But you don't really care for bone broth, do you? It goes down slow, it comes up green The added wine doesn't help a thing From Heaven the baffled saint cries, "Ugh, don't drink it"