It will remain capable of sexting with minors and unverified adults throughout the upgrade process

microsoft product (begging, pleading): save this document to my documents? me: save to desktop microsoft (twitching, shaking) this jpeg. save to pictures? me: save to desktop microsoft (weeping, throwing up): this email attachment... downloads? me: desktop

CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors. ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart. ISILDUR: true

I will ALWAYS hose my build to pick up a fated choice

@kwiktrip.bsky.social your Cass st location in La Crosse said they ran out of ceremonial head coverings for the Ortolan Crunch Bites but I can clearly see staff playing w them out back

Got my first iPhone and the magic watch that goes with - are the notifications containing the precise date, location, and manner of my death a new feature or have they been doing that for a while?

APRIL - 1805 NAPOLEON IS MASTER OF EUROPE ONLY THE BRITISH FLEET STANDS BEFORE HIM THERE IS NOTHING IN NAVAL LAW STATING THAT A GOLDEN RETRIEVER CANNOT SERVE HIS MAJESTY AS CAPTAIN OCEANS ARE NOW BATTLEFIELDS

hey guys just got back from the rapture. yeah i guess this one was a test? anyways we're not supposed to say when the real one is, but have fun guessing!

really glad i got Warren Zevon as my aging-millennial '70s musical interest and not Steely Dan

the best dressed Roman general was probably dripio

lot of interesting posts today huh

Christopher Tolkien: dad i barfed JRR: *barved

1 like = 1 number from my bank account

John C McGinley: "It's pronounced 'Jonk'"

love these Bible stats!

one must imagine Sisyphus in a slutty little outfit

3M should introduce a plastic that Fixes All This

Why do I still mask on planes? So I can put secret grapes in that sucker and have what I call “horse moments”

on the one hand it's neat that there's a dedicated Aubrey/Maturin fanbase on tumblr, but on the other it's extremely annoying that they refer to the series as the "aubreyad". There's another guy!

Chevy: we'll truck your dick

saved you a click: Strangleville wins again

in a fun nod to the game, season 2 of the fallout show will make about 60% of everyone who watches it trans

oh you like Indiana Jones? he was in movies with *nazis*

this seems like a very good idea actually

honestly "the chatbots are essentially the fae" would probably be better for normies as a mental model

hardcore band called gore of your comfort character

just dramatically called my dog a "perfidious hound". definitely time to wrap up the Aubrey/Maturin serious and pick up something with a bit more modern language

openai buys federal training data for one dollar

Friday at last…

Nurse? Will you bring in my big new pair of Pagliacci Penis Snippers? He's got an appointment for later today and I can't wait to strap him down and lop off that stupid clown pecker. Anyway, sir, go ahead. You were complaining about some bull shit

(in the nuclear semiotics meeting, right after the guy suggested radiation cats) that's weak shit. WASPS

hey fuck you (interpolates you)

The way the Iron Sheik talked about and to Hulk Hogan is a template for how every Democrat should talk about and to every republican. My consulting fee is $1 million.

a heat streak is when you get a heat stroke so bad you shit your pants

"people John Brown would've shot" is a dangerous oversimplification. he also used at least one sword

people who say "i'll never vote for party A unless they give me X, Y and Z" understand and are participating in democracy. anyone who is like "i will vote for party A under any circumstances no matter what" may as well have a king

a good way to separate art from its artist is to give the artist severe depression

real British children would've killed and stuffed mr tumnus

sam porter bridges more like sam getsno bitches

wes anderson porn parody the penisian scheme

everybody grab onto something just in case

The thing is, Alexander didn't create an empire, he stole an existing one. The Persians built that empire, doing the hard work of creating long-lasting institutional connections & stability across diverse regions. Alexander simply mugged them for it, & couldn't hold it together once he had it.

if i were Will Graham i would have simply defeated the Minnesota Shrike in the marketplace of ideas

every poem is an acrostic if you speak the dead and insane tongue of r'lyeh

every night i leave a little saucer of blood on the back porch, for the stray mosquitoes

press and hold left on the D-Pad, then select your SPURS, and press X to silence them

your party approaches the locked door; in front of it you behold two gigantic stone guardians. one of them approaches you and intones "one of us may only speak the truth, while the other has a gun." what do you do

you should watch Repo Man (1984) Directed by Alex Cox