The overlap between “porn featuring guys who look just like, normal dudes you’d pass in the grocery store” and “porn that includes people’s faces” is unfortunately pretty small.

Post an old dick pic 🍆 2016!

I read up on how bonsai trees are made, and I heard my brain go “I swear to god if you don’t make a bonsai tree in 2026, I’m going to make your life a living hell.”

If a student at the university where I work has clearly hit me up several times on the apps (likely without knowing I work there), at what point do I respond to tell them I set a boundary with students?

Type in your zodiac into gif and see what comes up! Post your fav one!

That canceled TV show that you’ll never stop thinking about.

This has been me for like two months. What are we talking about? Why are your mutuals talking about what now? Love learning there’s a toxic discourse that I am fully divorced from.

Got up to make myself a coffee. Ended up making myself a highball because I forgot why I got up.

another sc memory lol

A ton of policy arguments can be reduced to the conflict between “It’s broken, so we should get rid of it” and “It’s broken, so we should fix it.”

• Unreliable narrator • Friends-to-lovers • Toxic rivalry • 1st-person narration • There’s only one hammock 👀

Softie Sunday from Cancún

Choosing to put on a different face from what I feel inside me is not always a bad thing. What I feel inside me is not always kind, not always brave, not always aligned with my beliefs. Choosing to show up otherwise is not “masking” or being inauthentic. I am not only defined by my feelings.

But officer, I asked AI what will fix me and AI told me to do crack

I wanna see some man titties. Even better if I get to put them in my mouth.

Come lay on me

Welp, for the morbidly curious, if you've ever wondered what dear ol Dad looks like without his facial hair... 😶🫥 (It was a phase)

Today I learned that the origins of the chainsaw include like, uses in childbirth. Women are incredible.

Good morning

Help me focus

Another entry for the Just Woke Up series #FCF

I hope all your bellies are full and your hugs are warm and furry. 🫂

This has been every holiday in my family for at least a decade now.

I’ve decided I really do like the new battle style they did in Pokemon ZA. This is the first Pokemon game where I’ve even considered trying out competitive.

I just realized that Greg from Succession is played by the guy who was the “I glow!” kid in Sky High (Zach Attack).

“What makes this cookbook special? Each recipe comes with a fun backstory…” You have said the exact words that make me uninterested in this cookbook.

Old take but the new Jake from State Farm could choke me and I’d cum

Okay chat if I get high now, will that wear off in time for family dinner so I can at least appear normal but still have enough in my system to dissociate when I need to?

Guess who figured out gifs

I woke up like this. Support needed.

You’ve just died. The 6th picture in your phone gallery is what killed you.

Meet me in the bar bathroom?

Folks are way too confident in their ability to spot genAI, way too married to the idea that being able to spot it is like, a moral virtue. I’m tired of getting accused of using AI when I didn’t. Your paranoia is making you insufferable and unable to actually address the AI in any productive way.

Jaboukie is so hot it’s like, annoying

Me: There’s no downside to messaging this really conventionally hot person, like, I’m not going to be persistent or intrusive but no harm in saying hi. Also me: Okay but if they respond remember that they’re likely a bot account.

I’m day drunk and praying for the universe to let me cuddle with a nice alligator, preferably today but I can wait if needed

the gays recommended a gay hockey romance novel, and it does appear that the people of Hennepin County, Minnesota heard "gay hockey romance novel" and responded the same way I did

Just put us all in the group chat

Turkey isn’t the only thing getting stuffed 😈

Feeling cheeky, who wants to dig in?

Phewww...alright, maaaybe after emptying my nuts a fourth time I'll be ready to get out of bed Maybe 😵‍💫🥴

Time Commando (1996)

Him: I’m a side Me: Okay, so what do you like to do? Him: Sorry if I’m boring, I just don’t like fucking Me: That’s fine, I meant with side stuff Him: I like to top and satisfy my bottoms Me: Oh but I thought you said side Him: I’m a side for strangers I feel like communication broke somewhere here

I just found out that the protagonist player character in Pokemon has had a canonical name every generation. I actually thought they only did that with Red. Who is Paxton and why does he look like a Redditor.

I think if I could achieve this level of whimsy, like at least once a year, it would fix me. youtube.com/shorts/7brcv...

The way I need to top right now…

Mentorship is a thing I literally never think about until someone tells me explicitly that I’ve been doing it. Maybe once a year, I’m in a conversation where someone refers to me as their mentor and points out I’ve been mentoring them for multiple years, and each time I’m like “but we just met??”

I think my favorite part about people’s reactions to Pokemon ZA is everyone hating Jacinthe…until her battle music comes on. youtu.be/tvSlzzXpZEQ?...

[Possible spoilers for Pokemon ZA] …I can’t be the only one who was thinking about Iron Giant towards the end right?