no one cared who I was til I put on the dick and balls mask

doing divinations today, sliding scale based on how hot or oppressed you are. we can use a traditional deck or the very horny George Bataille deck, up to you

new grimoire just dropped

Live each day as if you're going to get murdered soon

friday morning abs check. post cumgutters itt

remembering the time I posted that dryjacking makes men bad at sex and how many dudes got so mad they sent me death threats on that anonymous AMA platform people used to use

Let's decode what happened here — first, you saw the best minds of not just any generation, but 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 generation. Were they sane, clothed and well fed? No. They were destroyed, not just by madness — but starving hysterical. The real kicker? They were naked

can anyone explain why the British have coined so much egregious sexual slang? worst offender: "rumpy pumpy"

a student came to my 530 hot vinyasa class this morning wearing cutoff skinny jorts

therapy: lame, takes forever, expensive going beast mode: cool as hell, instant results, free

ladies, I don’t need to hear your lamentations at all. crushing my enemies and seeing them driven before me is enough #ally #notallmen

got the results of my MRI back and it turns out I've been exercising on a torn meniscus for 4 months anyway I'm gonna go meditate in Nepal for a week about it and hopefully receive shaktipat and siddhis from a guru so I can heal it with the power of my own prana

your gym playlist is a sorcerous incantation. choose it wisely

using this dungeon crawl classics illustration as a to do list. I figure I'm at about step three rn and look forward to my continued monstrous transfiguration as I unveil further occult mysteries

*driving 5 minutes extra to the farther away WinCo because they have a better bulk section* my supply lines are too extended rn idk if I can survive the winter seiges

you hear people say "for the time being" all the time but no one ever asks who the time being is it's me, I'm the Time Being. thanks for all that stuff you've been doing for me

the primordial urge to "try a French bob" after dedicating three years growing your hair to your waist

Getting into agreements online

I have finally succumbed to The Illness and require treats and other kindnesses

I'm perfect AND I'm an island. but I'm a woman, so

got hired to teach yoga at a gym and I get a free membership which can only mean one thing: lifting weights until my ass cheeks resemble 2 bowling balls

today marks 1 year since my spiritual dada David Lynch died. rest in peace. post your fav Lynch moments ITT

freezing some little paper guys in an ice cube tray and then achieving a heightened state of piss gnosis all over them 🙏

one thing they don't tell you about practicing occult yoga techniques to attain siddhis is that it's gonna give you some big headaches I'm being told they actually do tell you

is there anything as satisfying as praying on someone's downfall and then watching them fall down?

stop asking chat gpt and start asking an oracle or a prophetess of some kind

hey guys how's it going

it's a beautiful day to get your dick and balls stomped

getting workplace accommodations for being a dumb bitch

"are you a top or a bottom?" neither, I just get the job done

relationship anarchy? no, I said relationship monarchy

I have to be the most blasphemous pre-raphaelite bitch at the function for some reason

he's sucking toes with a linen napkin draped over his head like a french gourmand eating ortolan to hide his shame from god

astrally traveling to fart on my enemy's pillow

what's up it's me ya girl jizzwitch

gorgeous gorgeous girls are hooting ominously as they emerge from the mist

really want a bloody mary but with real blood

the lemonade that kills you is just normal lemonade, to me

posting cake for fun and profit

you are under the effect of the following enchantments/curses: -one titty out -wild af

passing a blunt through the glory hole

the nine words every woman wants to hear. I've never done a crime, I get to testify against cops lol

that's right

happy a/s/l? day to those who celebrate

the kids today need to learn to pirate shit again. absolutely insane that streaming services have tiers with ads. "yes please show me the mcdonald commercial." fuck off and die to all corporations

a master class on sexting

what if we kissed on the flesh beanbag 👉👈

fully draining my oldest blood boy for the thanksgiving sacrifice

reskeet with a picture of you guess my favorite band

scrolling a hot mutual's media back to the inception of her blue sky acct and trying not to accidentally fave a 3 month old selfie