Hahahahahhahaahahahaha fuck you Florida That makes me feel a little better about our loss now

Playing andromeda multiplayer and this dude insists on doing platinum runs which means I die every five seconds. I’m nowhere near ready

It’s one thing to lose, it’s another thing to be fucking humiliated

They’ve quit trying

Well. Happy first day of baseball season

This is fucking stupid

I hate this so much. Why do I watch

That’s two turnovers on Jelavic, time to Sit down

So nervous about this UK game lol

Couldn’t relax on my bench after my walk so I turned it into the first Lowe’s trip of the season. It begins.

All my benches are the park are Occupied :(

CIN Home Run! P.J. Higgins hits a grand slam (2) to right field. Yeycol Soriano scores. Naibel Mariano scores. Austin Hendrick scores. The score is now CIN 11, CWS 7 (Bottom 9)

OUCH

Will Benson, Will Benson

Missed the last part of the first half Of the Arkansas game because this girl Found me at the bar

I need Vandy to act like they’ve been here before

Can confirm

I guess Texas can be in the SEC now

51 for Nebraska looks like Simon Pegg during his Doctor Who cameo

formal proposal of a replacement for the vince mcmahon meme format

Unfortunately I will be heading to the record store to acquire some Pulp albums, I do believe.

I’m supposed to be seeing Kate Nash right now

Big iced tea matchup on Friday

This is so beautiful. I’m so happy for them

I’m so happy Geno is back in Cincinnati this season. I love him so much

Big Papi is always right eventually

I love to see men cry for both reasons right now

This is good

GENO BABY

These announcers are crashing out that USA is losing lol

Every time they show a USA fan in the stands I cringe. Trash men

Have fallen down a rabbit hole of a rap fan listening to U2 songs for the first time, and he just described “Bad” as a hot air balloon that just keeps rising, and I’ll be damned if that’s the best description I’ve ever heard of that song!

Rooting for Venezuela tonight

Me on the 1st first day of my new job vs me on the 2nd 1st day

Don’t forget your leprechaun flutes tonight, stay safe.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, New York.

It was damn near 80 degrees on Sunday and now my car is covered in snow. Okay.

New superpower awakened: making a man feel insecure about his hairline at the bar

Had a really great first day, but my brain is mush. It’s been a while since I’ve had to learn all new things

Mother Nature does not care she’s keeping me awake the night before I start my new job. That’s fine

Ewan McGregor is the perfect man

I love this Zendaya commercial

*Very* entertaining start to the Oscars

Sometimes when my cats are walking in front of me, doing that start-stop thing cats do, I can’t help but yell, “Keep walking, soft-gut” like I’m Uthgerd the Unbroken

This has definitely been one of the better SNLs. Glad I stayed up

Ooh! Harry’s doing Dance No More!

Okay, host Jack Black and musical guest Jack White is extremely funny

Unfortunately for my productivity, I just discovered the Andromeda multiplayer servers are active

Good morning America