My baby had their first talent show performance and they were amazing! I love seeing them in their element and enjoying themselves.

I cry at every single school performance and program, man. I'm a full ass bitch with these kids 😂😭

At my kid's talent show. One of these babies did Show Me Love by Robyn. Like she FELT that 😂😂😂 I just KNOW she be with her Grandma a lot 😭😭😭😭 Another did Square Biz! 😂

If you have a street weed man, you absolutely know where to get crack. They are typically not the same person, but sometimes you may luck up.

Talking on the phone with my daddy while he was at work. His coworker asked him something. "Hey man, I'm on the phone with my baby girl. When I'm talking to my babies and my lady, I can't talk to y'all niggas". TELL EM AGAIN, DADDY!!! Also lemme have some money.

All right, let me get my fat ass so I can make some breakfast. I hope y'all have a magnificent day, that's my plan

I just want to read through movie scripts, add six jokes to every one and then leave.

I need to buy a bunch of picture frames in bulk, like 8x10s and 4x6s and 5x7s. Dollar tree ain't even a go-to spot for them no more

I mean. Somebody had to say it.

Let's say you're about to buy a house and your sister works at a luxury apartment complex leasing office. She offers to steal you one appliance out of one of the vacant units as a housewarming gift. What appliance do you choose?

Now before y'all start getting nasty, did y'all motherfuckers take y'all medicines and y'all vitamins yet? Because y'all are 43 and horny, never forget that, but that don't mean you can't be healthy with your 43 and horny. Don't be 43, horny & floppy dicked cuz you got poor cardiovascular health.

Actually yes. Yes.

Can I tell y'all the funny, funny shit that is happening right now in my apartment complex. Somebody broke into one of the vacant apartments and stole the appliances. Dishwasher, stove and refrigerator. So now they are going to every unit to check and see if we have appliances 🤣

Bisexual wall coverings

Oh. Toe colors. Don't ask me what color my toes are if you not about to send the $65 for me to go get the gel pedicure.

My workout was absolutely effective yesterday because when I cough I can feel my abs and I don't even have any 🤣🤣😂

I'm not even really independent. I'm just very much "I have a Daddy".

Saying isn't doing.

First thing I saw this morning when I logged on was a white man pretending to be a Black talking about collard greens. I should probably log off because y'all are not about to fuck up my day with lies.

Either you are a white person or your family couldn't cook and I'm going to start with saying that about your grandmama and then your mama and then your sisters. Could be both because I know some white people that can make some fire ass greens.

I layered my night time joint when I was stuffing it with some kief 😊😊😊

This woman could and should have ended the conversation immediately after he sent that text message. But look at how they responded. Some of y'all really be doing shit to bring it to social media. St@b these men www.reddit.com/r/blackladie...

Yeah I think I'm fucking with this app, just for the ease in recording stuff alone

You know how off the chain middle schoolers are? The middle school dance is only going to be an hour and a half. 90 minutes LOL. They don't even get a full two. As a parent, I can't even go get a meal on a Friday night in 90 minutes.

I can't stand a nigga that don't understand shit. That shit just irks me. And now here we are. 😂🤣

A Black comedy getting to season 5 on Fox? Just ignore it 😂

Doing this in front of AI and Ron Isley? He should be beaten!!!!

I know this is not even the secondary story here, but I am tired of America's obsession with them damn Kennedys.

That would be waaaaaaaaay too much ego in purple and gold, we already have the Ques.

I can't imagine quitting because I'm thinking about what Shannon Sharpe and them have to say about me

I've been nauseous all fucking day and I just need a break

Everybody on here seems real angry today and honestly, maybe y'all should go masturbate. I'm not saying it's going to fix everything, but rub one out. Not at work, tho. You nasty bastards

In college, my roommate was fucking our other roommate's boyfriend who lived with us because he was a bum and an adult living with 19-year-old girls And everybody had a job except him. Rip EY, tho, my nigga didn't deserve to die like he did.

Anyway. I'm listening to music from William Grant Still today while I'm in the office. I've started to move toward classical music while I'm working, it actually makes a difference.

About to ask a nigga to be my Salad Daddy. Fuck sugar. Have you seen the price of fucking vegetables?!?

"you have gluten free bagels? I can't have gluten" "No we don't sorry" "Okay well give me a plain bagel with cream cheese" Please get your Weird Al Yankovic looking ass out of here, lady.

Determined to not let other people start my day off the way they want to. Because I swear I would hate to have to air this bitch out

I actually returned my smartwatch completely. I am tired of proving that I did something LOL. Everything is starting to feel like work. I don't like that shit.

trying to get used to sleeping with my watch so i can track my sleep but it’s rather difficult.

Alicia LeShay gave doll

Prison profit pipeline.

Her titties could leak forever and I would still give her my entire fucking check to smell the fluid.

I know it's impossible but I be wanting every Black girl in college to be under Dawn

$5 don't even pay for the free guac and queso at Qdoba!

5 million after tax. Even then, I'm applying back after a year. 🌚

I figured out how to turn off reposts and I am so fucking excited!!!

Seeing what this is in response to has me sliding on the floor but it's not incorrect because that lady definitely still got her original teeth from the Brewster projects.

I was stuck on the landing of the stairs leading to my high school boyfriend's bedroom giggling for hours too afraid to go down the stairs.

Update: I am not going to the gym. Much 😴 But I am going to do a Grow w Jo video. I did finally upgrade my boost camp membership to pro, so I can share my custom workout plans with people! The one I'm doing for this program (12 weeks) has dumbbells and a lat pull down bar as my available equipment

I still feel bad for how the world did Chelsea Clinton. I was a little kid then and even I knew people were being weird as fuck. You didn't have to be an adult or a parent to see that.