Toy - 2 Me - 0

Ay the fine fat niggas that cook and bring up salads and meals to the hair salon??? Us famished Queens love you so much. Just had a fire strawberry salmon salad with cinnamon sugar cashews in the middle of my twist appointment 🤣🤣

Cam Newton is a book you should definitely read by its cover. Nigga be having scarecrow fits and scarecrow thoughts. Just give him the football 😭😭😭😭

Everyday we straight further and further from God's light

Nothing like getting in the car after waking up at 4:30 in the morning to go get you a little chicken biscuit and you got home by the grace of God last night cuz you got 12 mi to the gallon LOL

*snatching

Woke up at 4:44, I felt like Jay Z.

Oh good luck to them LOL. I dropped out

They let that little Cuban boy run it up on em?

I hate when niggas are deceptively fine from the back because this man is standing here in front of me and baby from the back, He is a whole fucking snack. Maybe even a fine meal at the Outback. From the front? It is giving your local Church's ran by the ones that don't wear shoes back there. Iykyk

They got me smoking woods and drinking Veuve. It might be time to head home before it's too late 🤣

Bill fine as fuck, he look like he pay all the bills, he just want you to be cool

PRAYERS UP FOR MY GUY BILL AND GOOD FINE ASS

Guess ain't shit funny no more.

At my cousin house for a little house card party for his 44th birthday. And when I say this single man lives NICE LOL. It's always clean in here, he done started getting him some plants. Got him a poinsettia. Nice blue collar man!

My mama is upset with me because my kid is spending the weekend with my dad and not with her. Even though she has plans and would need for me to come get my child EARLY Saturday morning and then bring them back Saturday evening. Meanwhile, I'm trying to go out and live my best life! WTF

Everybody else is going to tell you that it's not, but friend, I was up yesterday to 3:00 a.m. Because of a 3:50pm nap

I bet you her first call is not about to be her current husband but that last one and I hate when a dummy bitch does dummy bitch shit

I got 20 minutes left of work today and this is about to be the hardest 20 minutes of my life because these people have had me fighting for my life today

I need somebody to come clean my spirit but instead of burning sage I need three niggas that are in management at GM to come wave two backwoods each full of that ZA in my face

This year I'm going to make sure not to call as many of y'all dumbass bitches as I be thinking in my head and in my home. I'm just going to block

Said you older niggas some SLUTS

Still ain't got past the first 30 minutes of Love Jones cuz I be fucking 😂😂 Literally, if you trying to fuck a nigga over 42, put this shit on when he comes over. Legs to the MOON immediately. Now, if he's been to prison before, put on Paid In Full. Same effect

Imagine having AI generate a police report for you and it STILL puts you at fault and your claim is STILL denied. But now even more, you're committing fraud

Are all reverends pastors???

Boar's Head is done. Finished. They have obviously cut out all their food safety standards and even if some of the food they're making isn't contaminated, none of it is safe.

One of our systems at work is headquartered in New York and apparently New York now has this two-factor authentication that they require for certain shit and it's making my fucking life hell LOL. Starting to think they made that up and they just want to inconvenience us

My cousin refuses to fly. This is also the same woman who didn't feel comfortable driving on the interstate until about 6 years ago. Mind you, she has kids and lives in the RURAL South, Like 30 mins to the Walmart South. I hate it so much for her because she talks about wanting to travel a LOT

Is this an updated ground turkey and broccoli?

Last night I took my garbage out at like 11:30. I was only a little bit scared so y'all should clap for me. I can't wait to get this gun so I can be no bit scared

You're not the asshole. The girlfriend seems...... Interesting. The daddy was almost there! Like he started off slow but he started to catch up!!!! Is the girlfriend the mama? Because that's a bigger issue 😭

Count day coming up at school, reaching out to my cousins that went to hbcus in Georgia for t-shirts. I'm trying to get one of the Fort Valley cousins and one of the Albany State cousins to send me up some shirts.

I just see the reactions of tenderism Uncle but I don't see any of the videos. I want to hear it out his own mouth him talking shit about Keith because there's no need.

And it's still fuck Ruth Ginsburg

Are you a couple and y'all have multiple cars in the home but nobody has an assigned car? I asked because my dad and my stepmom are the way. They have NEVER had assigned cars, they just get in whatever car and go. I think that is so weird. 😂

Cuz we be fucking, SMH. We are really the central cause of our own stress 😂😂

I am starting to regret my 3:30 to 5:15 p.m. Nap

This was actually the very first time I heard the song, did not hear the prince version for years after. It is actually really good

First you get the haircut. Then you get the titties. First you get the haircut and thennnnnnnnnnn you get the tiiiiiiiiiiitties

I think I'm allergic to acrylics. I'm gonna cry

Spectrum is doing some upgrading tonight and it's pissing me off because what am I supposed to listen to to go to bed?

Ray Lewis and Michael Phelps hanging out? Oh, it's big drugs happening, I need to hang out with them niggas

I don't know who Trinidad is but every time I hear the name I think of James

A fiesta Bowl and it ain't tostitos. That shit ain't wrong to nobody else? I want everybody to go back to the bowls they used to have!!

Bitch this is a GAME!

Why does this young man look so old in the face? He definitely has a mortgage

No for real 😂

There is honestly nothing funnier than watching rich college students in the stands cry cuz they're losing.

Crazy thing is there's absolutely two sides to this SMH

If you're like me and you watch your cable via somebody else's Comcast login And you can't watch the game because ESPN blocks it out if you're not at home, the ESPN2 broadcast is just Pat McAfee so you can mute that but still get the game