The sign on the glass door says "HꙄUꟼ". My brain automatically translates it and I push the door. It doesn't budge. I've done this many times before and I'm sure that I'll be doing it many times more. And I'm sure you've done it, too. The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/28/25 was #pull

12YO girl signed up to do “stand up comedy” at the talent show. 13YO boy decided to heckle her. Teacher started to tell the boy to leave her alone, but the 12YO comedian said “no, no, let him go, this is the closest he’s ever going to get to having a conversation with a girl.”

my favorite past time when talking to much younger men is to give them advice on wooing women that is really just care and feeding instructions for iguanas

Happy Lemmy Christmas! youtu.be/dsqC6HRS8Lc?...

Missing roof tiles, dank bedrooms, foul kitchens No furniture, fixtures nor fittings But what scares me the most Is the mansion has ghosts And that is the reason I'm splitting #limerick The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/26/25 was #fixture

The king of the grifters The saddest of blokes Claims anything negative Must be a hoax And some people fall for it Don't ask me why I just wish that sphincter Would fúck off and… MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/25/25 was #hoax

That peanut worm is a little too exciting for me you got anything else?

Merry Christmas everyone From this nefarious kit Except for racist lunatics Who make him want to spit

Charles the slacker took magic for granted He slouched in the circle and chanted Everything went quite dark Chuck was shocked by a spark Karma left him sorely disenchanted #acrostic #limerick The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/24/25 was #check

"Don't break it to me gently, Doc Just give it to me straight I think I can withstand the shock I cannot stand the wait" "The outlook's pretty grim, my friend It couldn't be much worse I think that you will meet your end Before I've said this–" *THUD* #vssdaily #prompt for 12/23/25 was #straight

The birds are held aloft by string The table's built of rabbits Tea or cake or anything My deer, reach out and grab it There's plenty here for everyone A smorgasbord of cheer We should not leave till we are done As said "The buck stops here"

So, farewell 60 Minutes But I guess this had to happen The White House has its limits So they made you stop yer yappin' Your new boss, she will guide you She is strict and you'll be tutored But the whole world will deride you As you're basically neutered

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

Billy had a dollar bill He bet it on a race The whole darn thing was such a thrill His horse came in first place He happily kept gamble-ing And had such crazy luck The next day he went ramble-ing Got trampled by a buck The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/22/25 was #buck

The silliest crime I will never forget Was the time I got mugged by a marionette This pernicious puppet was a-waving his knife When he cut all his strings off, thus ending his life The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/21/25 was #puppet

Isosceles automaton Whose cargo is so treasured Conveys its freight With careful gait And every movement measured

Which words have given you happiness this year? I’d love to hear them. (And if you fancy some distraction over the holidays, do give my word game Two Words a try. twowords2.page.link/play)

The situation isn't great The outlook's feeling bleak The idiots are full of hate And power's what they seek For justice we are yearning And I hope you heed the call I feel the tide is turning And they're heading for a fall The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/18/25 was #bleak, but we persevered

This is why I love BlueSky 🫶 *not my content*

She storms into the meeting room A wintery tirade A squall they cannot weather She rains on their parade The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/16/25 was #squall

Touching the wrong wire A shocking experience If you survive it #haiku The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/15/25 was #live

Rewatching the glorious insanity of Taskmaster UK series* 16. Savoring just how wonderfully unhinged Lucy and Sam were. Well worth a watch on YouTube. *or, if you're in the US, "season 16"

Same old trip to work today To do my stupid job Same old toil to earn my pay For a mad ungrateful slob Same old trip back home at night Fighting through the glut Same old same old don't feel right I think I'm in a rut The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/14/25 was #rut

Me: oh that’s so raunchy I can’t post it Tequila: give me your phone

Single button, large and red "Do Not Push" engraved below Start a war or raise the dead? Suddenly I need to know Finger itching I advance To do the action I selected Press it hard, I take my chance Silly me, it's not connected The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/13/25 was #button

Report Leading Cause Of Death In U.S. Is God Needing Another Angel

I like to walk up to folks who think they're invincible and straight up vince the shit out of 'em.

The dish washer, he's so good looking As handsome as you'd ever wish No server, and no good at cooking This dish just liked washing a dish 1/2 The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/12/25 was #dish

Me: But time makes you bolder Even children get older And I'm getting older too My cat: please stop

Dot ate some laxative chocolate It worked its way through in a flash Now Dot can be slow But she really must go So Dot transformed into a Dash The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/11/25 was #dash

A solution in search of a problem A tool that's in need of a use If I ask IT why We are stuck with AI They will parrot some tech bro's excuse Don't want it to draw me a picture Nor need it to give a best guess It is constantly wrong Then it shrugs and moves on We are left here to deal with the mess

Tintinnabulation Of the sleigh bells as they ride With the strangest ululations Of the mummers just outside A cacophonic yuletiding All we need's a drunken Santa But where's the bugger hiding? Over there, behind the planter! The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/10/25 was #tin

Tarantino made accusations of bad acting and ripoffs and for him to do either is very pot kettle black.

Prices are higher, my friend And life is now "make do and mend" The clothing mismatches Covered over with patches Have hopefully started a trend #acrostic #limerick The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/9/25 was #patch

I awoke with no ache and no pain Nor that fog that inhabits my brain Life felt good, life felt fun I felt I… was twenty-one It's a dream‽ Oh well, that would explain The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/3/25 was #miracle

I can't stand feeling hot Being cold has no merit I'm just a Goldilocks Trying to Baby Bear it

A friendly, cheeky little bird Came to my backyard feeder Bright red, bequiffed, he looked absurd But acted like a leader He danced across my patio And causing such a din Scattering pistachios I named the fella "Sin" The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/2/25 was #cardinal

This man was so clearly reviled Each witness outlined their complaint All evidence duly compiled The church went and made him a saint The #vssdaily #prompt for 12/1/25 was #saint

One happy little duckling Basks in the Summer sun Sublime and sweetly chuckling Could they have much more fun? Under the sky River nearby Enchanting everyone #hepstatich #acrostic The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/30/25 was #obscure

Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life

A souvenir that lasts forever. #flashfiction #writingcommunity adamsonmedia.com/fiction-shor...

If I were a drug addict, while that would be bad, I imagine I would have amazing stories about great danger and intrigue. But, I am a food addict and there isn't one fascinating story beginning with, "It was 3 a.m. and I had just polished off a party size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos by myself..."

A sorcerer cooked me some fries I told him "these fries I despise" That grumpy old wizard Turned me into a lizard Now all I like eating are flies #limerick The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/29/25 was #lizard

Crowd feeling rowdy today How best to respect that fine play? Express mail a letter? Except we'll do better: React with a great, heartfelt "YAY!" #acrostic #limerick The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/28/25 was #cheer

On this Thanksgiving, I send appreciation and wishes for a beautiful day to all the wonderful people whose paths I cross and various kindnesses I receive, online and in the flesh. I hope you have a safe and warm day with a loveliness of your own to reflect upon and cherish, tenfold.

The nothing man is such a jerk He halts the progress, stops the work He has no heart so cannot care He does less harm if he's not there The nothing man's most heinous crime Is wasting all this precious time He lies and lies throughout the day The nothing man should go away

He bet everything on three aces He lost to dumb little straight He ended up leaving a marker He left with a belly of hate The debt, it would have to be settled The host was not one to refuse The thought about leaving the city The idea seemed to amuse The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/25/25 was #marker

I am a tennis player As lonely as can be Here's the trouble Can't find me a double As "love" means nothing to me The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/24/25 was #tennis

If you're a time traveler and just arrived in 1925, I have some breaking sports news for you. #NFL #football adamsonmedia.com/nfl-football...

Goodbye, farewell to MTG It's been such fun to diss you Don't really know why you must flee But know that I won't miss you