Smallplates
@smallplates.bsky.social
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New here. Satire. Everyone’s cousin on TikTok & IG
https://linktr.ee/smallplates
TRUMP: Young People are my Priority SCHUMER: NO! they are my priority! NOTE: Both are opting to spend their golden yrs at work, instead of spending time with their grand kids.
12 days ago
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Will Stancil
15 days ago
This is Brad Lander doing pulltabs in the Uptown VFW. He’s one of us now
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There are cups of coffee that have done more to stop ICE agents than
@schumer.senate.gov
. Time to retire
19 days ago
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the only threat to ICE is sleep apnea & triglycerides. Luckily, they’ll have plenty of time to exercise in federal prison.
about 1 month ago
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CBS 2026 Line Up Dropped…and it’s ass.
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about 2 months ago
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Kristi Noem’s testimony is like her Make Up-thick & out of touch with reality
2 months ago
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DC is just LA for Model UN kids
2 months ago
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The Jim Cramer of Comedy
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2 months ago
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No indentations for new paragraphs-Who’s the real criminal here?
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2 months ago
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I’m busy. Calling dibs.
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2 months ago
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Robert Reich
2 months ago
Spotify has laid off thousands in recent years, while reportedly paying artists $0.003 per stream. Spotify profits rose 28% in Q3. Its CEO is worth $9.8 billion. It's making money off ICE recruitment ads. Don't you think it's time put a wrap on corporate greed and exploitation?
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2028 Dem Ticket will be Schumer/Jeffries & they will concede to GOP in after the first debate in exchange for a vote on National Parks restoration or some shit.
2 months ago
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Thankful for all my fellow Chicagoans.
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3 months ago
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Est. Dems takeaway from mamdani v. trump-“key demos love rizz. let’s pay the Rizzler 50 million dollars to endorse Haley Stevens.”
3 months ago
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Doordash gonna drop a 50 year mortgage for a chipotle burrito soon & it’ll be fine bc free market regulates itself dummies
3 months ago
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Chicago Handshake Episode 1: Lt. Gov. Juliana Stratton & US Senate Candidate
#illinois
#politics
#50501
#indivisible
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3 months ago
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Chicago Handshake Episode 1: Lt. Gov. Juliana Stratton & US Senate Candidate
#illinois
#politics
#50501
#indivisible
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3 months ago
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Santiago Mayer
3 months ago
It doesn't actually matter if Chuck Schumer votes for this or not. If he can't keep his caucus unified to protect healthcare for over 10 million Americans, he should resign as leader.
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jamelle
3 months ago
i think this is key. taking the deal would amount to taking the blame. it would turn a clear political victory into an unambiguous defeat.
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@durbin.senate.gov
what gives? You really gonna give em your milk money and hope they don’t ask again tomorrow?
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3 months ago
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Not a fan of Humpty Dumpty’s heading. predatory VC firm hell bent on exacerbating wealth inequality through bribery fueled deregulation. Loved him in Shrek though
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3 months ago
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Lmao mainlining the copium over the L Zohran served up
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3 months ago
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Smallplates
Preparing for Ezra klein dems takeaway on yesterday to be wildly off. Theyre gonna say “for midterms, let’s have dick Cheney AI TikTok’s say corporations are ppl”
3 months ago
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Preparing for Ezra klein dems takeaway on yesterday to be wildly off. Theyre gonna say “for midterms, let’s have dick Cheney AI TikTok’s say corporations are ppl”
3 months ago
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When Chuck Schumer says he’s been talking to Mamdani, this is what he means:
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3 months ago
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50501: The People’s Movement ❌👑
3 months ago
NYC, tomorrow you have the chance to show the world that the future we’re building in America is not one led by the corrupted, sex pest politicians of the past like Andrew Cuomo—but rather a future determined by us, one that represents all of us, a multi-racial democracy of, by, and for the people.
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SecDef tries so hard, but his statements always read like call of duty mobile ads.
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3 months ago
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Congresswoman Delia C. Ramirez
3 months ago
ICE and CBP are a danger to our communities. They violate our Constitutional rights and terrorize our neighborhoods. Our city is not a war zone. We must defund ICE. We demand accountability.
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At Least 3 People — Including 2 Citizens — Detained By Immigration Agents In Albany Park Friday
Agents alleged that at least one of the people detained on Lawrence Avenue had "assaulted a federal agent," according to video and neighbors.
https://blockclubchicago.org/2025/10/31/at-least-2-people-including-a-citizen-detained-by-immigration-agents-in-albany-park-friday/?utm_content=buffer5a56c&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer
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Cuomo the type of guy that thinks drake won the feud.
3 months ago
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she got more bracelets than Johnny Depp now. they def hooking up.
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3 months ago
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remaining this guy nazi Liberace
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3 months ago
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interior design updates while 40 million Americans lose SNAP going into the holidays…bold move cotton, let’s see how it plays out.
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3 months ago
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maybe, instead of paying consultants to write a book report about why dems suck, dems could DO some events that benefit the community & voters won’t think they suck?
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3 months ago
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Corp. Dems: “how do we fix our brand?” Zohran: I got this. Corp. Dems: “you’re ruining brand!” (actively fail to sabotage popular candidates) Corp Dems: Did we get rizz? Check the aura focus group!
3 months ago
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youtu.be/9py4aMK3aIU?...
My recommendation for Dems is communicate less like consultants, more like Dusty.
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Dusty Rhodes talks about "hard times": Mid-Atlantic Wrestling, Oct. 29, 1985
YouTube video by WWE
https://youtu.be/9py4aMK3aIU?si=ximgGoqHufgc0yuZ
3 months ago
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Post gonna say “Mamdani uses socialist weather machine to flood New York bc Gates said climate totally fine.” Page 9: Sliwa gets his pachouli from a witch he saved in a house fire in 1979
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3 months ago
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Laura Bassett
5 months ago
More than 1800 detainees are missing after the closure of Alligator Alcatraz. Their families and lawyers can’t find them and they’ve vanished from the ICE database. Feels like this should be a much bigger story
www.miamiherald.com/news/local/i...
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Hundreds of Alligator Alcatraz detainees drop off the grid after leaving site
As of the end of August, the whereabouts of two-thirds of more than 1,800 men detained at Alligator Alcatraz during the month of July could not be determined by the Miami Herald.
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/immigration/article312042943.html
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Max Kennerly
4 months ago
Today's winner of the "Please STFU" Award is Kat Abughazaleh. She was right to hang up! Don't talk about the facts of your federal indictment on a podcast! Or anywhere except your lawyer's office! Sincerely, Every Lawyer, Literally All Of Us, Heed Our Counsel And Shut The Fuck Up
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50501: The People’s Movement ❌👑
4 months ago
We the People want to more politicians who will stand up against Trump and his fascist goons, not bow to corporate power. Folks like
@katmabu.bsky.social
@zohrankmamdani.bsky.social
&
@abdulelsayed.bsky.social
who are willing to stand up for our rights and fight for a future for all peope
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Big announcement from DHS on indicting peaceful protesters
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4 months ago
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Ken Paxton would sue oxygen if it distracted from the humiliating details of his divorce.
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4 months ago
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Yes, they did. you getting lapped by Trisha Paytas’ Substack bc of ass kissing like this. Take the boot out of your mouth & start reporting something.
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4 months ago
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“Straight up punk” is southwest side business casual for “fucking jagoff”
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4 months ago
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Pete Hegseth prolly sent the answer to them on signal
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4 months ago
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Cuomo always looking like a divorced dad talking to his ex-wife’s new husband while the kids to pack for his weekend
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4 months ago
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And target. ICE been staging in target parking lots in CHI
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4 months ago
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David Simon
4 months ago
Just spitballing, but I'm starting to think they're going to need to give these junior-varsity morons more than two days of training and a $50,000 signing bonus.
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Hamilton Nolan
4 months ago
Hundreds of people protesting ICE in downtown manhattan right now. Reads and Broadway. NYPD cops in riot gear on scene.
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Chicago No Kings.
@50501movement.bsky.social
great work.
4 months ago
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Smallplates
50501: The People’s Movement ❌👑
4 months ago
Is this the police you claim are there to protect protesters, Gov. Pritzker? Still waiting on you to address this!
@govpritzker.illinois.gov
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