Aaron Parnas edgy like Schumer. Swears in a way that sounds censored. Love this kid

Too bad it'll be awesome for my dc cocktail circuit!

Hell yeah Jake. Hard hitting shit right here. Sorry you didn't make it to the Thiel chat. I didn't get an invite either. Oh well. See you in the hamptons with Marco & Ted Cruz

Stop Complaining about Bipartisan Forever Wars!!!!!

Skipping the Met Gala to attempt to cancel Abdul El Sayed in disguise was one of the biggest sacrifices I've made for the Democratic Establishment.

Met Gala was MAGNIFICENT! Radical Left Union leader tried to crash, but luckily Democrats increased police budgets so we were able to keep Unions out of a party for the working class!

Radical leftists like Zohran and Oliver ALWAYS refuse to answer the tough questions:

Citizens United was the day I first became intimate w/ John Roberts

Don't tax the rich-they have rights (& SuperPACs; tax the poor!

We need Less Land Acknowldgement & more oil pipelines & Hasan Denouncements

Love to see this from a California Governor candidate. Criminal Police Officers are a vulnerable “justice-involved” minority, and we must protect them from the evil, discriminatory journalists that seek to hold them “accountable.”

@50501movement.bsky.social @mussabali.bsky.social stole your "No Kings" slogan! Sue him so he doesn't beat SuperPAC darling Bob Menendez!

We aren't going to fire Kash Patel when we win in Congress. We are going to send him to Harvard business school on the taxpayers dime to ensure he gets the management training he needs!

DREAM BLUNT ROTATION SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY CENTER RIGHT KINGS & QUEENZZZZZZ

Threads banned us for being a bot? I HIRE BOTS-BASED ON POLLING-IM GOING TO NEED TO HIRE A WHOLE LOT MORE

We were banned on threads, looks like AI got us-we're ok with that though we are very very pro AI!!!

This happy hour is wack. Cory Booker is filibustering karaoke. If Moskowitz & I don't get to do "Last Resort" I STG...

Yes! We (the center right) defeated someone supported by Trump, Putin & Netanyahu. Oh crap, I wasn't supposed to say that last name.

Now radical leftists will want JD Vance to campaign for Netanyahu so he loses-we won't let that happen!

Coachella is just like the Democratic Party. It used to be a gathering for mortals-artists, progressives & plebs. Now, it's Mt. Olympus, a place for the Gods- VC bros, private equity & the ultra rich. I LOVE CHELLA!!!

So proud of the DNC for not denouncing AIPAC. crimes against humanity are no reason to turn down $$$. Legacy TV Ads are expensive, even though no one watches them.

YOU BROKE MY HEART EZRA.

Schumer said he wants me to make pro-AIPAC Lego propaganda movies. hmu if you got the Iranian Lego rappers number

Matt oozes the raw charisma that will turn this party around, but keep the billionaires controlling us rich af

Ok, soooooo what if I told you that leftists rigged the election for Trump bc they were trying to sabotage Biden?

STG if Chuck Schumer has to cut his vacation short to not stop this insanity we're all gonna be PISSED

Establishment Democrats condemn the truth social from President Trump. Not because it threatens a HUGE CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY but because he did not run it by our comms team before publishing.

Everyone needs to slow down and let the process play out like it did last time. We don't want ANY President to get his feeling's hurt by suggesting he's out of his gourd.

So are you all a "no" on a Cory Booker/Nelk Boys interview & pickleball hangout in Occupied West Bank?

My Padiwan Matt is so brilliant at triangulating. We bounce off both sides of a position & land in the middle, where everyone's unhappy except those unaffected by the positions-the ultra wealthy.

Hell yeah Jake! Love the self love glazing you are giving yourself! Forget about the haters that say you were late to report on Biden's health & didn't even mention the g-cide ever. You're the GOAT-take that victory lap!!!

We, the Establishment wing of the Democratic Party, hereby welcome ANYONE willing to get on their hands & knees for autocrats in the name of $ or striking deals. As long as Me. Beast does NOTHING to stop these partners, he is one of us.

The President said "praise be to allah" & is friends w/ Zohran. Eric Adams, please, save us from Shariah.

Almost fainted by the amount of aura in this pic. AOC COULD NEVER

Watching Robocop rn-privatized prisons, hospitals, law enforcement in Detroit...no g-cide, no M4ALL, no Affordable Housing-it's like a 2 hr. Campaign ad for Mallory McMorrow!!!

HASAN'S BFFs MUST BE STOPPED A Chuck Schumer Joint

Project Hail Mary should be about me sending Joe Biden on stage for that debate.

Project Hail Mary should be about me sending Joe Biden on stage for that debate.

So glad Trump won & Lina Khan is out. Sure he's a fascist, but at least our donors won't have to give back their hard earned wages

This man has done more for the environment than leadership has in 45 yrs. He must be stopped

It's Saturday, so going to Mike Johnson's Christian Entourage DC townhouse. I'm Bringing the make up & queso. Let's get weird

This is profoundly uncool Robert. Way to throw my clients & their donors under the bus

Just because Dems like Jared Moskowitz made millions on insider stock trades, doesn't mean Jared cares about the welfare of our troops. Wait did I say that right?

Chuck, Jared, Hakeem, Cory & Lindsey are relieved that Iran rejected our ceasefire so we're going to get bottle service to celebrate. Be safe america

Well, Spock was not an American. Here, many die for the needs of the few billionaires. They happen to be my clients so I'm cool with it

We are not Anti-War in Iran. We are anti not running the Iran war by us first.

We need to be OLD, our opposition needs to be TOOTHLESS. And we need to performatively lose. This way, the 10 wealthiest donors that astroturf centrism WIN.

So disappointed by Robert. Corporate greed is what this pro business authoritarian greed is built on. That, and our inaction. Who are we to throw a monkey wrench into the gears of industry?

merrick garland was a better AG than Bondi. He did far less to damage the presidents political standing.

Our deepest fear is not that we our inadequate; our deepest fear is that we forget to send you 26 fundraising texts a day. We know we're inadequate.