Me: gdi they marked them wrong, this is Dad's Caesar wrap! The dressing could have anchovies!! Husband: oh that's sucks but I'm sure it won't have anchovies! Me: ok One big bite later...

Mark Twain would have HATED Bill Maher

My daughter is heading to France for two weeks today. She's packed one carry on and one small backpack, the clearest example yet that she is adopted

if you see someone enjoying fast-casual shrimp NO YOU DIDN'T

I always fill out surveys for customer service because I know from experience that employers base raises on those But Jesus Crimeny I'm so tired of being asked to associate emotions with corporate transactions!! NOTHING is a bigger turn off for me as a consumer

Ben and I have spent weeks trying to buy a specific cable for our AC that is no longer manufactured. It’s about to hit 90 and our longer haired kitty is gonna get too hot. So this is my Hail Mary. Anyone got any advice to find a GE universal power cord? The model is RAK3203A.

Things keep happening and sometimes it's my fault and I wish it would stop for just one full day please

here's the thing. fuck flyovers. go feed some hungry people w my tax dollars.

Lol it was this group I'm so glad I went hard responsiblestatecraft.org/parscale-pro...

Lol I'm chatting with some opinion not and they are asking what Israel could do to make me believe they are promoting peace and stability Lol

We continue to distribute thousands of air purifiers to Boyle Heights residents impacted by the warehouse fire. If you need an air purifier, sign up to pick one up or request delivery by visiting our link in bio or cd14.lacity.gov

Kalshi but for betting on when your husband will actually put something away

We must RETVRN to the old ways* * Throwing the whole man out

Are they trying to save money on the coffin? Just bury him loose.

Dad how did this heavy bowl get downstairs?? " I brought it down" 🙄 He had broken his hip twice in those stairs, maybe he could have his hands free and just ASK me to refill his bowl of nuts??!!

Daughter made this great little painting of Charlie for her dad

Heaven so gay sometimes it overflows

Fun to see AI getting it right EVERY time!

"Its swimsuit season", I whisper, eating another swimsuit

The admin heard our jokes about eBaying paint chips, and wanna do it themselves.

If I lived near DC I would have grabbed some reflecting pool paint and made little commemorative numbered plaques and given the proceeds to charity in case someone wants an idea

I actually LOVE this for Cheryl tho

Is someone selling the blue paint that peeled yet?

What's your opinion when the doctor's office wants you there 15 min before your appointment? Mine is " then you should have made my appointment 15 min early" I am never late and usually early but it still irks me

Know what TV show actually wouldn’t get made today? The Twilight Zone. Half of these fuckin’ episodes are about fascism.

We’ve asked a lot from y’all these past months, but please kick in a few bucks if you can. This could’ve been any of us, really.

I've been hurting my old lady shoulder throwing balls for Charlie so I got one of those Chuck it things and MY GOD I can now send balls to the moon, and the neighbors yard

I had THREE very broken hours of sleep last night. I feel like death I have to take Dad to an appointment so no sleep for a long while. 🫩

I feel like I look decent for once in a long long while

My dad is proud of me!!

What you wish you could be doing in New York right now is what you could be doing when It happens. HAVE A PLAN.

Some ppl rock a kaftan for summer, some people like a roomy muʻumuʻu, I like a tube, specifically a tube skirt (dress??.. skress?!) that is stretched beyond reason but always reverts to it's tube state

If you over-regulate capitalism you get totalitarian communism. If you under-regulate capitalism you get a ruling caste of insane monopolists. Please ignore the fact that one of these things has never happened and the other keeps happening over and over

A trillion dollars can't make you funny... ....I mean unless you do the funniest thing

Lol Just told my husband " October 1st you will have been with me longer than half your life, more time with me than not" He said: Huh and then got up to find the ball for Charlie

A society with one trillionaire and millions of people in poverty is something to be deeply ashamed of, actually

Taxes are the compromise in case any trillionaires want to know

oooooh someone is getting yelled at by the intergalactic council

Dr. AI does it again!

I like how the AARP social security stickers grow more unhinged Which one should I vote for?

Guillotines are working

And thank you all for the lovely support I really love our little gang of weirdos so much❤️

Daughter made a costume for Hollow Knight for her bff's graduation tho

I was just gonna make a bunch of art too but now all the wind is gone from my sails and there was so very little wind to begin with

Husband had a bad result from the MRI so it looks like cancer. Prostate is the ", best cancer" But also fuck cancer very much. Nothing in his lymph nodes so it looks contained at least. Husband already survived colon cancer He doesn't deserve this.

Art matters! 🏳️‍🌈

Happy pride