The sound you are now hearing is a thousand Engerlanders spitting out a mouthful of Weetabix and Tetley's tea. Nice runout. #ashes #cricket

Please put some water out in a shaded spot today for our wildlife 🙏🙏🙏 #auspol

I hope those watching on Channel 7 are spared the #StandUpToHate ad, because while the message is very noble and important, using Kyle Sandilands as one of the talking heads is the dictionary definition of taking the piss. #ashes

If we ever do have a royal commission into Bondi, its terms of reference should include an examination of the media’s highly political handling of the tragedy. That’s where we might also learn who really dials up hate and racism in this country.

Bluesky search function is either an English person or my 20-something son: it's only woken up properly in the last hour or so. #ashes #cricket #pinktest

Does #Bluesky roll out of bed and decide lucky-dip/lottery style if its search function will work or not? Case in point again: #Ashes Does this affect a few? All? (Don't reply if you can't see this. 😁) @bsky.app @support.bsky.team - feel free to enlighten me/us. Shitty day to do this. #pinktest

One of the weirder experiences of watching #Ashes #cricket. At the gym for the second session, having to drape my towel over the screen because the Channel 7 coverage in the screen reflection is about 20secs in advance of Kayo/Fox. #FirstWorldProblems

TV on mute. Can someone give a shout when that complete and utter fùckwit John Wanker Howard is wheeled out of the commentary box? TIA. #ashes #cricket

#HappyNewYear 2026 (AEDT - Sydney/Melbourne) for those who celebrate. Am just about to end 380 days of #noalcohol. Cheers! 🥳🎊🎉🎆

T minus 55 hours. (Or T plus 9,075 hours.) #BreakingTheDry #noalcohol #alcoholfree

Anyone who starts an Aussie Oi chant should be escorted out of the ground and given a lifetime ban. #Ashes

Not only does this intentionally violate the First Amendment to the US Constitution, it’s vile to watch mean-spirited, selfish ghouls who starve the poor and kidnap people for their skin color sanctimoniously pretending they follow any of the teachings of Jesus.

Jesus wept, @support.bsky.team @bsky.app - can you please stop buggering up the #Ashes search function during game day? 🏏

Phew! Snuck across the line. The only sad Australian faces are on the accountants at the MCG and Cricket Australia. #Ashes

I try to steer away from schadenfreude (mostly), but it's rather comforting to see so many English in the crowd sporting what my late parents called, "A face as long as a wet weekend." Enjoying the rain here. #Ashes

Australian sphincters collectively unclench a little. #Ashes

So a draw means Australia retains the #Ashes. England are have a very remote chance of scoring the required runs and going 2-1 in the series, but rain reduces the number of overs they have available to achieve that unlikely feat. And 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 are cheering the rain. Ok.

Ok, we've left them have a little Sunday morning fun. Let's end this. #Ashes

Happy #GravyDay to those who celebrate. I'm supposed to be singing this and other songs with a choir at some local markets this morning, but the rain's bucketing down and the #Ashes is on at the same time, so...

Can't fault Head for going the tonk on 170 with Australia leading by 396. Class innings. Now, Carey to rack up a ton and then declare. #Ashes

I say, the #BarmyArmy have gone a little quiet, yes? #Ashes

Things are going great over at X, The Everything App

Oh, good. #Ashes hashtag's working for me today. Was on a 5-6hr delay yesterday. Kudos to the #BarmyArmy singing, but Jerusalem is a weird song and choice for sport. Did a mythical figure visit England 1600 years before #cricket was a thing? 1000 years before England was a thing? Bizarre.

Josh Frydenburg is right now using the mass murder of 15 people to raise his own public profile again, presumably as a precursor to securing his political re-election and thus a potential run at a future Prime Ministership. He is a total fucking grub. #Bondi

In the wake of the Bondi tragedy should one have been surprised that Josh Frydenberg would opportunistically slither to the public megaphone - gaslighting the Australian public. His outburst is offensive, divisive, and disingenuous. #auspol

"Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Puhlease, LOOK AT ME!!!" #Auspol

Susssssan Ley and Josh Frydenberg are in a dead heat for political opportunism. Frydenberg's righteous indignation is symptomatic of nothing more than his latest bid to overcome absolute political and public irrelevance. What a colossal twat. #Auspol

What a coincidence. He says you look like a sack of sh1t. #Ashes

Matthew Hayden in #cricket commentary: "They [Australian batters] can literally rip England's heart out." Paging someone with a dictionary to the commentary box. Also, please bookmark the word 'obviously' which is also getting abused and missed as always. #Ashes #AUSvsENG

3, 2, 1 and that's TIME! A full year of #noalcohol. What started on 16 Dec 2024 as an #alcoholfree week spun out to twelve months. 15 more days then I toast 2026 with a couple of straight double vodkas. 🥳

A good day to avoid Facebook. Facebook comments are where logic, decorum, and written English go to die. #Bondi

Translation: My team is losing and I have a bad case of the galloping sour grapes. #Ashes

Hint for Archer: when your team is only 9 runs away from a humiliating loss, that's probably NOT the time to start chirping the opposition. Just sayin's all. #Ashes

Ok, enough fannying about, Australia. Let's finish this off and move on with our lives. #Ashes

Taking a 20 minute break now - when they're unlikely to be out there for longer than that when they return - is utter, utter bullshit. #Ashes

Dear England I'd sleep in tomorrow if I were you. Love and wickets, Aus. xox #Ashes

18:17 AEST. Am prepared to call it: looks like we're getting a third day of this test. #Ashes #AUSvENG #cricket

When I rule the world, playing 'Sweet Caroline' on the tannoy at sports and other events will be punishable by a slow and painful death. Fucking. Stop. It. #Ashes #AUSvENG #cricket

* UK power grid spikes as a couple of million defeatist Poms sigh and head back to bed. * #Ashes

Meanwhile, Warner is like the dorky younger brother who hangs around with the big boys and girls only because Mum and Dad says they have to include him. So he just bobs around in the background and flaps his gums with any old shite just to be seen and heard. #Ashes #cricket #AUSvENG #AUSENG

The sound you are now hearing is several million English fans doing their third hairpin bend turn on whether their team are dead set far king legends or miserable, pathetic losers. #Ashes #AUSENG #AUSvENG #cricket

I confess to being extremely nervous up until 13:20h AEDT today, and was going to post this GIF, but that was before England decided to self-implode. Thank you, Blighty, for easing my #Ashes angst. 😌🏏🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿💣🤯 #AUSvENG

#Wikipedia are doing one of their semi-regular fundraisers when you go to look something up. In a world of aggregation of media and social media sources, imagine an existence where Wikipedia was owned by Müsk or Zúçkerbèrg. Then click the button and donate.

No one could accuse Donald of being woke.

Mostly watching the football ⚽ on a several hours' delay (sleep was more of a priority at 04:45h), but regularly distracted by the meandering incense patterns.

#NupToTheCup Hoping it's soggy and uncomfortable at Flemington for the punters.

OK, regardless of source, credit where due: That's a great headline.

Great start to last day of Canberra Writers Festival. Killing time before the first session, and a wee lad is quietly reading aloud, slowly sounding out the words to the encouragement of mum. Oh youngling; what an adventure in words and ideas you're embarking on. #cbrwritersfest #amreading #books

Day 1 #book haul from Canberra Writers Festival. Quite some restraint exercised. #cbrwritersfest #books #amreading #booksky