The desire to get into this apartment complexes street view glass hot tub and press my dick up against the glass is unreal

When getting aroused by something you were not into, but a friend makes an interesting point about it. "I stand erected"

Sometimes I wish I had the confidence of an upper middle class white lady coming into our shop and mispronouncing the names of the brands we carry.

Real thing I witnessed right before my very eyes of @jackaloo.bsky.social feeding @auleop.bsky.social a bagel like a dog treat

When you make a dessert so good it makes you utter the sentence "Boy, my goodness howdy."

Watching Severed EnCE "Yes Daddy"

I bet Einstein felt a similar rush to what I just felt after bringing definition to his toes.

How have I never had a cigarette and a dirty martini at the same time before?!

These were incredibly fun to do, and they look so good up on that board!

DIVA DOWN

I just used a vape that has a gif of a sunflower playing a saxophone on it I miss cigarettes

who knew cum removed permanent marker from skin?

*tummy groans like a boat about to snap in half* Captain, there be ghosts in our steel

All washed, polished, and ready to sell 🥲 If anyone wants an '06 Solstice btw, I know a guy :P

It has come to my attention that one, if they do desired, could fill a Waterpik with pee. A Pisspik, if you will. Oral hygiene just got way more fun.

Diva down! 😭

Mothers are the original 3D Printers.

Also I have a radial arm saw now :3

Learning so much, very excited to see tests coming out so well!

I have never felt so wronged in my life xD

"Maybe survival isn't always the most important thing. Maybe this can matter too." 😭 If you've not listened to Unlicensed, I highly recommend it is such a fantastic story omggggg.

Been (slowly) learning Lightburn and playing around with the laser, very excited to have some interesting offerings here in the coming months. Huge thanks to @jackaloo.bsky.social both for the test art and for the support on this endeavor!

What are you waiting for, start collecting the bears @auleop.bsky.social

Heh Nice

Some #SwatKats partner swap. This is how it originally ended in the episode’s script. Source: trust me bro. . . . #nsfw #DarkSwatKats #T-Bone #Razor #ChanceFurlong #JakeClawson #SteakKnife #furries

Just the one

*shyly twirls my finger in my foreskin* So you like dudes?

Girl dinner

*pees in your can til you pie*

It’s a full moon and the Babs in the sky is looking so scrungly tonight @auleop.bsky.social

Does douching count as hydrating?

Showing @scrubfiend.bsky.social my human mustard dispensing skills to establish dominance

@scrubfiend.bsky.social makes me look way cooler than I am xD <3

Note to Self 3.0 ✏️

When a friend surprises you with something cursed, you know it's gunna be a good day 🙂‍↕️

What if my dad's dick lit up like a geek bar when I sucked it?

Me: *reading dumb Tumblr posts out loud* @bashpanda.bsky.social "Wait, are these all Tame Impala lyrics?"

Such a shame that Dicksword doesn't have a connection with Tidal so I can subject my friends to my music 2008 MSN style. 🙂‍↕️

What I lack in intelligence I make up for with stupidity

Dad's Piss-mosa™️®️©️ is best <3 @figgystar.dog

So you know how pearls are like formed when sand gets lodged in an oyster? What if I sucked a kidney stone out and it got stuck in me? 🤔

Best Dad ever 💜

I just ate an order of pizza hut cinnamon sticks and my mouth feels like I just chewed on a cinnamon stick's butthole.

"Why the sour face, did someone piss in your Cheerios this morning?" No they did not and THAT is why I am upset >:c

Coming back from the gym the shower was taken by Kurt so Mike decided to take a nap on the couch... Commission for @ranchdoggo.bsky.social

It taste like chemical