Das Cum-Cum Problem

If you named your son after Cesar Chavez, you have to rename him now. Maybe go with something unproblematic like "SpongeBob SquarePants."

How much does my 12-year-old like grabbing freebies at festivals? I found these in a bag of stuff she collected at Pride Fest.

Kirsten Simms wires it top shelf on the PP in OT to send Wisconsin to the national championship game to face Ohio State

Fuck 'em, Bucky!

Because the Oscars *just* happened, Chuck Norris will appear in next year's In Memoriam and we'll all be like "Shit, I forgot that he died only a year ago."

I owned some twitter stock for about a week in 2014. I WANT COMPENSATION.

Me, working past 5 p.m. just three days after spending most of St. Patrick's Day running around the neighborhood drinking and laughing with friends and strangers alike: "Man, I never get to do ANYTHING."

The only concrete plan I have for the Brewers home opener next Thursday is that I have the day off work. Everything else (tickets, companions, itinerary for ambling about town) is up in the air. How long can I maintain this uncertainty?

Who knew?

I won't exaggerate to sound too cool and jaded but I think I got sick of those jokes after, I dunno, two weeks? We were all running at a slower speed on the internet back then.

Using my wife's first and middle name when she's in trouble.

Lol at me turning on the Badgers game right at that moment. I may only watch 30 seconds of Wisconsin basketball this season!

Boomer copy-and-paste slop with sincere reply

Big iced tea matchup on Friday

Just because I didn't post a lot today doesn't mean that I wasn't on here reading EVERYTHING.

In the next season of "White Lotus" all the guests are fun and are just looking for some good vibes.

Suggested for me: Michelle Waddle

I had a few shots yesterday, a bunch of Guinness, some stew, a pizza, a ton of water, and I brushed my teeth. I still taste the shots.

I'm sensing that the good guys won, yes?

Something I didn't mention about this whitewashed lesbian relationship. One of the women is a cop! Be gay- but do no crimes!

Ah, well. Alas.

This list should be handed to every person when they move to San Francisco.

I've seen a lot of Gen X women say that Wagner Moura is hot and, well, he seems hot in a Gen X way.

I've been in noisy bars for the last 3 hours. I'm looking forward to seeing why you've all been swooning over the Zohran video.

One non-polling way to see that Trump is generally unpopular is that you never seeing him throwing out the first pitch at a baseball game. That's like the most American "We like this guy!" move and he's had ZERO MLB first pitches.

WMSE is celebrating St. Patrick's Day with Brazilian reggae?

A guy in the bar is quoting FARGO enthusiastically and incorrectly. It's cute!

St. Patrick's Day benefit: getting to see Sigmund Snopek do his thing before noon on a Tuesday.

Oh my God- Connor O'Malley just dropped some excellence into the world. Enjoy! [No link. Do your own searching]

My father (not Irish) has been texting and posting Irish proverbs and blessings for the past 48 hours.

we gotta do something about metaphors

My two kids' aesthetics lately are basically this:

I paid little mind to all of the "How can you cheer for the USA over Canada in gold medal hockey game" and yet today it is I saying "How can you cheer for the USA over Venezuela in the WBC championship game?"

Oh, and of course... fuck this completely. ☘️

St. Patrick's Day: a day where I'm looking to avoid as much responsibility as possible. That's the meaning of the day, right?

David Frizzell - I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBEo...

Dog Doesn’t Consider Itself Part Of Family https://theonion.com/dog-doesn-t-consider-itself-part-of-family-1819576259/

Experimenting with visualizations. Imagination maxing. So on.

This was a fun day at "work" I went to a bar at noon and the TV was showing the scaffolding collapse on the noon news. I got to proudly announce to the bartender "Hey! That's my office! That's why I get to be here drinking right now!"

europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of hormuz

Damn, Ms. Buckley, I was not familiar with your game.

I love when they cancel school the night before so I can turn off my 6:30 alarm and drink beer until midnight.

Can I get a follow back @barbrastreisand.bsky.social?

After weather... they should do a sports update, too

This Burger King ad feels desperate. They're gonna go out of business soon, huh?

Was that family doomed to live alone forever on a Disney cruise ship?

Maybe someday one of you Hollywood screenwriters will string together a collection of words as powerful as "Modern Elegant High-quality Dinosaur Egg Trash Can"

Damn, I wish I could buy this but my budget for a new toilet paper holder is only $425.