Peace Thru Pantsing You 👖

hilarious, bro. you’re a regular Riyadh Comedy Festival

If the van’s got a himbo don’t come for limbo

think i left my limbo stick in your van

tryna to acquire some princely-ass sums

subjects? I’ll lowkey bone up on that shit

Jelly Roll is short for Jelrome Entertainment Roll

yeah i’d like to offer u a flexible WFH* arrangement *Work From Hell 🔥

punxsutawney dril

jelly roll, or “almost malone,”

“think i give a damn about a Grammy?” —slam slenderman

zero dark cheugy is the operation where i went to the 24-hr Walgreens & ran into u

Rambo No. 5: Stallone Does Bega

is Charlotte’s Jeb! anything

re: Awesomesauce Island Crimes

my cologne is Dior x Campbell’s Chunky

same

can Bogonia dunk

changing my legal name to

yeah I’m preparing for a Polar Vortex- in my mouth!

sure, we hear about the poor ones, but we need to recognize & commend guys doing piss-rich jobs as well

many jobs offer the free use of a Personal Computer (“PC”)

booty had me like

Midwest Perjury 2: Lying Under Ope

guys will see 5000 years of ancient Chinese culture & dance & go “hell yeah”

*chuck schumer voice* we hope that, in 2026, ICE learns the true meaning of Christmas

the judge sentenced me to solitary confinement at A Place For Mom

Bill Laimbeer’s full name is William Laimbeeroquai

“i ate the bones”

America has weaponized its only 2 Italians against their ancestral homeland. despicable

new to the CW: 6 7th Heaven

this will be my first Whiskey Friday without Gregory Bovino

i got M3GAN’s autograph at the grand opening of a Zaxby’s

i do not, & will not, remove my clothes. that is tantamount to doxxing my body

Gregory Bovino has been reassigned to Sheol

boomers love to hand out cardstock résumés & then go on a Surfin’ Safari

society has developed a bad case of palantir fascismitis

Gregory Bovino < David Faustino

officer-involved existence

*Tom Brady voice* this Bobo may have just honked the Rams’ season

the 2026 nfl honors is just a week away & i still don’t have a date!

Beavis’ full legal name is Beavis Mevis

Denver JNCOs

the human body is 69% Beefy Potato Loaded Griller

i prepared for this game all week by subjecting my mouth to DQ Blizzard-like conditions

replace Sean Payton with Tracker. from CBS’ Tracker

*pinned underneath my overturned ski doo, clinging to life* there’s no business like snow business!!

hillary lied about bargatze

*belching* kony dokoupil