The old Dawn French adverts for Terry's Chocolate Orange (It's not Terry's, it's mine!) were really successful. I'm surprised they didn't use the same tactic for other stuff. "It's not Collin's English Dictionary, it's mine!" "It's not Occam's Razor, it's mine" "It's not Parkinson's Disease..."

Today's the day folks!

No data centres or detention centres please

We have a toxic combination of low wages and high bills. We need to make life affordable for everyone. Make hope normal again & Vote Green. 💚 (& remember to take photo ID to the polling station!)

Easy choice to vote @greenparty.org.uk on Thursday. Climate, workers’ rights, anti-war; no other party comes close. 🌍🌱❤️ greenparty.org.uk/about/our-ma...

I'm at Portsmouth Comic-Con and in two days I've only asked one person for a photo, but I think I chose well

Saw John Kearns doing stand up last night. He was an absolute force of nature. Excellent stuff. See him if you can!

Today is a day that requires Emotional Support Jelly Babies

This is it, this is what we need: www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

WWE should sell an Eddie Guerrero-themed toilet lid that says 'LATRINO SEAT' on it

The Mandalorian and Grogu (2026)

Excited to give this a spin after backing it on Kickstarter! Thanks @kcg.bsky.social and @numskullgames.bsky.social !! 🔥🐶🎩🔥

Low-effort shit like this getting over a million views is absolutely infuriating when talented people who care about their creative output are languishing and struggling to get any eyes on their work

The sauce sachet for a 'flame grilled steak' pot noodle is soy sauce. That seems like a mismatch, no? Also, just tried to find a list of pot noodle flavours and their sauce sachets but found nothing. How far up does this go?!

The french: get over here and explain yourself, noncechops British gvt: ...we're banning phones from schools and making 40yos hand over their ID to DM on Bluesky, The Radio 6 Of Apps, what else do you want us to do about it?

The shareholders dividends were ringfenced against pirate-zombie infestation (Lee 20:12)

When we eat our first billionaire, do we start with the one that'd make the biggest statement, or the one that'd probably taste best? It's just that I reckon Elon would taste like absolute shit :(

Vibe coding, but the vibe is 'shitty unreliable website'

I hate Pat McAfee being in WWE so much. Not in a 'heel' way, but in a 'I don't think I want to watch this anymore' way

IMAGINE how strong the sentiments on the badges and pocket squares are going to be now!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking hell, though

There's a party that cares about people *and* about the planet. And it can win in 30 days time. This is your moment to join the Green Party. Join.greenparty.org.uk

French one-man Beatles tribute band called Jean-Paul Georgeandringo

I hope you have a happy April fool's! April fool's haha, I actually hope you have a *very* happy April fool's!!!

About to have physiotherapy due to a knee injury I suffered doing an escape room. The clearest indicator yet that I am a young person no longer

Just eight hours left to grab this Trans Day of Visibility bundle on Itch.io! Help make us extra visible! And also get some good stuff :) itch.io/b/3594/tdov-...

Happy International Transgender Day of Visibility! We're everywhere and we're cool. Here's the trans pride flag 🏳️‍⚧️ on a mid-90s Pentium running DOS.

You can't always, in fact 'fix it in post'

Today is epilepsy awareness day. Like most people (I assume), I thought hardly at all about the condition until I knew someone who had it. My close friend Toby was an epileptic, and I unfortunately have to say 'was', because last year he died during a seizure.

If there are olives on a pizza, I'm picking them off. That's my perogolive

Dunno if it's THE greatest, but the first thing that came to mind (that I hadn't already seen as an answer) was Mr Freeze in Batman: Arkham City. For the uninitiated, he stops being vulnerable to every attack after you hit him with it once, so you have to keep improvising

More like Dipshit Town FC

Fucking hell. Huge amounts of love and solidarity to UK trans kids and the people who care for them. It's somehow still astonishing how much the people in power want them to be isolated and miserable. Trans adults too, but it's particularly heartbreaking when done to children.

OH MY GOD THEY ACTUALLY DID THE THING!!

if wrestling is fake explain this

Fuck yeah! Finally! #Peak

I will never not do this

My entertainment for this evening has been a combo of the National Theatre performance of The Importance of Being Earnest on youtube, and All Elite Wrestling: Revolution

Wordle 1,732 2/6* 🟩⬛🟩🟩⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Celebrating St Patrick's Day by only getting greens in wordle

Well I'll be...

Word to your mothers

In Brighton to see Tim Key being funny!

@alexhorne.bsky.social Hi Alex! Are we going to hear about the 2026 Comedy Football Match soon?!

Yet again strait's causing everyone problems 🙄🙄🙄

A #joke for if you have a friend who really likes cloves: "Woah, calm down there Anne of CLOVES!" (works particularly well if their name is Anne)

I don't think he counts as a celebrity, but ex-comedian Lee Hurst blocked me when I replied to him tweeting about how torture is good

They call me...

it's cute that hell has bells