These are the Posting Times, people

it's not clocking to you but shane bieber is standing on business

"are you rooting for the jays or the dodgers" i am rooting for more baseball. the most baseball to ever happen

wife bought me a new dress, what do we think? 🌹

the guy from the bear is in the springsteen movie as springsteen. the guy from stranger things is in the pavement movie as malkmus or lou barlow or whatever. sure fine fuck it. put the kid from veep in the wilco movie as jeff tweedy

got ingredients for an all-Canadian negroni tonight

brought my own remote to the bar and switched all the tv sets over to a classic jim carrey movie during the ball game. people started yelling "who the hell did that?" no one cared who i was till i put on The Mask

let's go win the whole fucken thing 🧭

new dress alert

mgm announcing they're rereleasing war games (1983) as defense games, just to balance things out

rip to giorgio armani and my condolences to his brothers emporio and exchange

do u think i will ever be yearned for

just met my assigned personal trainer and all i could think was "i could be your mother"

went to yeg pride with the gals, i'm in the middle, looking like i'm up to something

i am sorry that there are no plums in the icebox that you probably wanted for breakfast it wasn't me though it was the killer anyway wanna see a cool synth? -wendy carlos williams

the subway is about a young woman who, tired of the hustle and bustle of the big city of lloydminster, AB, settles into the quiet country life in the small hamlet of lloydminster, SK

i'm basically the main character of chappell roan the subway

The Kiss Cam at that Coldplay show caused such a scandal it makes me glad they didn’t also cut away to the Full Penetration Cam. Who knows what might have happened!!!

what if this is how i laughed

on the positive side, this is how i looked last night lol

i also almost cried today because the gals went on the ferris wheel and i was so scared for them

today in "why is trixie pouting?": i took my partner to my secret hipster liquor store and picked out an interesting amaro and she said "let's just get aperol"

still alive. still up to no good

trans day of when’s the last time you ate anything

🖤

oilers fans who are concerned about their gm's recent moves would do well to remember the tammy wynette classic, "stan bow your man"

"you can't have foreigner without journey" me at the record store explaining dad rock 🤝 me six beers deep explaining how travelling works

the stones were lying about not knowing me

went to the location and nobody knew you

discarded fukuyama book titles: so you've had it with history history? that's old news pal history's history! the time-eater that is the great and deathless now yippee for big macs

oh shit hattie's here

i;m hattie

canadian children: please mother may we have Ball mother: we have Ball at home Ball at home:

thank god theres instructions on it, otherwise I wouldn't know how to use this ball

canadian children: please mother may we have Ball mother: we have Ball at home Ball at home:

oettinger absolutely deserves to be working with a better organization than the stars. just absolutely shabby treatment by deboer, airing his dirty laundry with the press like that

i am perhaps the best there has ever been at polyamory (everyone is mad at me at once)

gullible posh englishman speaking in dp (deceived pronunciation)

PLAY LA BAMBA BABY

literally what are the boers fleeing from, a job application?

it's 1655 out here

new pope's walk-up song

toronto is further south than minneapolis

the college of cardinals really fumbled the bag not electing an ai pope. ngmi

A Chicago Pope implies the existence of an MLA Pope and APA Pope

"Maybe It's Time To Let The Americans Run the Show. What Could Go Wrong?" Says Church That's Doing Great Actually, Why Do You Ask

i don't think 100 men could take down one gorilla unarmed actually. but ten times that many australian men, maybe. i mean at that point it's a war of attrition, death by a thousand c